[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Today in Christ

August 15, 1945 - Victory over Japan Day
It was on this glorious day so many years ago that the Lord Jesus finally moved the Japanese to surrender, as we knew they would, to the vastly superior American Army. After months of getting their skinny, rice-eating, slanty-eyed, God-hating heinies handed to them on a silver platter, we finally snapped their chopsticks and forced them to give up and go back to their rice paddy. Little known fact: it was also on this day that Japan agreed to start acting more American and pursue more Godly goals such as making products that Americans would spend money on. I believe it was on this day that our glorious leader, Pastor Al, was captured on film expressing his extreme joy by kissing his future wife:



Praise Jesus and pass the soy sauce!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Today in Christ

August 13, 1587: Members of Sir Walter Raleigh's expedition to Roanoke baptises Manko, the first American Indian convert to Protestantism.

You know, my great-grandfather used to regale us with stories handed down about that redskin. It seems that he was quite the cutup around the village. Always thinking he got free pies for agreeing to worship "the Great White Father".

I think some kid shot him for target practice finally.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Today in Christ

August 5, 1656: Eight Quakers from England arrive in Boston, where True Christians™ of the Massachusetts Bay Colony immediately imprisoned them without trial. They were held in irons until the ships that brought them were ready to take them back to England.

Oh those were the days. We knew how to take care of false Christian communists back in the day!

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Today in Christ

August 4, 1792: By order of revolutionaries, all houses of worship close in France.

Proving once and for all that Godless communism was invented in France.

As the cheese-eating surrender monkeys say in their own diabolical "language": Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose. The more things change, the more the French spit on Jesus.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Today in Christ

August 4, 1792: By order of revolutionaries, all houses of worship close in France.

Proving once and for all that Godless communism was invented in France.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Today in Christ

July 24, 1567: The Romanist harlot Mary, Queen of Scots, abdicated in favor of her son, who became James VI of Scotland and later James I of England. Thus, the way was paved for the Holy King James Bible. God is good, all the time!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Today in Christ

July 15, 1099: The First Crusade captures Jerusalem, massacring thousands. "The city was filled with corpses and blood," wrote one chronicler.

Praise Jesus! If we can just Stay The Course and continue Mission Accomplished, all of Iraquistan will run with rivers of mudslime blood once again. Glory be to GOD!

The steaks are on me after Sunday Services down at Ruth's Chris steak House, boys! Let's drink a toast to those brave crusaders who spent so many years away from home disemboweling and impaling unsaved heathens!

[Unsaved and Loving It]

Re: Today in Christ

July 2, 1752: The first English Bible published in America rolls off presses in Boston.

And don't you know it was a KJV1611 Authorized version, published by Landover Baptist Press.

Praise JESUS what a glorious day!!

Only over 140 years after it was first published under the great people of Britain, supposed land of Satan. Really shows how much God loves America.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Today in Christ

July 2, 1752: The first English Bible published in America rolls off presses in Boston.

And don't you know it was a KJV1611 Authorized version, published by Landover Baptist Press.

Praise JESUS what a glorious day!!

[Shallow-izer (On Moderation)]

Re: Today in Christ

Holidays on this Day

We do not list heathen ceremonies or histories on this Godly forum. Kindly refrain from imposing your hellish views on us. This is your last warning.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Today in Christ

Well I think what happened was that no one really wanted to try to govern a people who enjoy wearing skirts and eating faggus. I think the decision was made just to let them ruin themselves.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Today in Christ

In another installment of Today in Christ:

June 21st, 2000
As we all know, Europe has been very gay for a long time. Well I have done some research and found that today was the point-of-no-return, so to speak. It was on this day that Scotland, in a decision that would hasten the return of Jesus by decades and damning all of Europe to Hell. Scotland's government, in a 99-17 decision, repealed Section 28, the last piece of legislation that followed Jesus' Word by outlawing homosexuality. Ever since this day, the Devil has made Europe his own vacation lot. The United States may be an easy target for him these days, so he retires to Scotland to ensure that he will have his way.

Who ever thought it was a good idea to let the Scottish govern themselves anyway? Seriously, a government made up of Scottish people is the sort of wacky idea that makes majority rule in South Africa look positively reasonable.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Today in Christ

1. Summer solstice (Northern Hemisphere) and winder solstice (Southern Hemisphere) celebrations

I'm sure rachel will be celebrating this "holiday" by sacrificing untold numbers of innocent human beings.

2. National Aboriginal Day in Canada (starting in 1996)

Does anyone care about Canadia? What they do is really no concern of mine, since we can rest assured that they are mocking God one way or another...

3. Midsummer – Neopagan festival – Litha

4. National Day of Greenland

See #3. Greenland is a godless land of queer polar bears.

5. Fête de la Musique in France, Belgium and Switzerland.

Something about Fetid music in the fag countries? Honestly, why waste your time looking these things up?

6. World Humanist Day

Someone call Lilith! The only good news about this is that I can bag a few extra Witches to get my notch count up

[Shallow-izer (On Moderation)]

Re: Today in Christ

June 21st 2007

1. Summer solstice (Northern Hemisphere) and winder solstice (Southern Hemisphere) celebrations
2. National Aboriginal Day in Canada (starting in 1996)
3. Midsummer – Neopagan festival – Litha
4. National Day of Greenland
5. Fête de la Musique in France, Belgium and Switzerland.
6. World Humanist Day
   

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Today in Christ

In another installment of Today in Christ:

June 21st, 2000
As we all know, Europe has been very gay for a long time. Well I have done some research and found that today was the point-of-no-return, so to speak. It was on this day that Scotland, in a decision that would hasten the return of Jesus by decades and damning all of Europe to Hell. Scotland's government, in a 99-17 decision, repealed Section 28, the last piece of legislation that followed Jesus' Word by outlawing homosexuality. Ever since this day, the Devil has made Europe his own vacation lot. The United States may be an easy target for him these days, so he retires to Scotland to ensure that he will have his way.