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  • Glendora Christianson
    Spiritual Mother of LBC
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 2329

    #1

    Mandatory Video for True Christians

    Dinosaurs and the Bible a wonderful video I wish all True Christians could watch.


    Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #2
    Bananas PROVE God exists!

    THIS is an important video that all Christians should show to their doubting friends, family and co-workers. Praise Jesus, even a simple fruit consumed mainly by nigras and monkeys can be used to bring the wicked to Salvation!
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • Saria
      Unsaved trash
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 39

      #3
      ...it's a banana.


      ...and apparently a great thing to practice blowing for those homosexuals out there.

      Comment

      • SalvationSeeker
        True Christian™ Theologian
        Forum Member
        • Sep 2006
        • 3892

        #4
        Originally posted by Saria View Post
        ...it's a banana.


        ...and apparently a great thing to practice blowing for those homosexuals out there.
        I reckon that you "practice" on the real thing however, harlot.
        Every man that passes you by is a potential opportunity for practice.

        You and your perverse fantasies make Jesus sick!
        If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
        A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
        Proverbs 9:12-13

        Comment

        • Saria
          Unsaved trash
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 39

          #5
          ...No. I'm a virgin and plan to stay one until death. I was merely remarking on another property of the banana.

          Comment

          • SalvationSeeker
            True Christian™ Theologian
            Forum Member
            • Sep 2006
            • 3892

            #6
            Originally posted by Saria View Post
            ...No. I'm a virgin and plan to stay one until death. I was merely remarking on another property of the banana.
            Then show Jesus that your words are sincere, become an eunuch for the kingdom of Heaven.

            "For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it."
            Matthew 19:12

            Praise!
            If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
            A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
            Proverbs 9:12-13

            Comment

            • Saria
              Unsaved trash
               
              • Sep 2006
              • 39

              #7
              How about I don't as jesus really can't tell whether or not my words are sincere (last I checked he was still dead).

              Comment

              • SalvationSeeker
                True Christian™ Theologian
                Forum Member
                • Sep 2006
                • 3892

                #8
                Originally posted by Saria View Post
                How about I don't as jesus really can't tell whether or not my words are sincere (last I checked he was still dead).
                ..

                You disgusting gender issued homer excuse of unsaved trash..!
                Jesus died only TEMPORARILY, as He resurrected Himself and He will be back to punish unsaved scum like you and your disgusting family.

                Get on your knees real quick and pray for forgiveness, before Jesus (or I) decides to send you to hell for this blasphemy!
                If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
                A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
                Proverbs 9:12-13

                Comment

                • Saria
                  Unsaved trash
                   
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 39

                  #9
                  How, praytell, could he have resurected himself if he was dead in the first place?

                  Comment

                  • SalvationSeeker
                    True Christian™ Theologian
                    Forum Member
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 3892

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Saria View Post
                    How, praytell, could he have resurected himself if he was dead in the first place?
                    Maybe because the soul, and in His case the spirit of God is immortal?
                    Duh!

                    Are all sinners as slow and stupid as you, or are you a member of satans "special forces"?
                    Last edited by SalvationSeeker; 09-17-2006, 03:32 PM.
                    If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
                    A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
                    Proverbs 9:12-13

                    Comment

                    • Andreas
                      Unsaved Atheist Nazi Trash
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 249

                      #11
                      I'm so glad when christian scientists discover new facts about god's love to his people.

                      Praise our lord. May he gives us more fruit.
                      Soon in Christ

                      Comment

                      • Pastor Al E Pistle
                        Christ's Cōnsiliārius
                         
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 9323

                        #12
                        Why is the homer corinth in here dressed as a young girl? It is against GOD'S law.
                        Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                        "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                        Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                        Comment

                        • Andreas
                          Unsaved Atheist Nazi Trash
                           
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 249

                          #13
                          Why is the homer corinth in here dressed as a young girl? It is against GOD'S law.
                          I don't think that he obeys God's law... I bet he's just obsessed with one of Satan's "turn-people-to-homers" agents.
                          Soon in Christ

                          Comment

                          • Saria
                            Unsaved trash
                             
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 39

                            #14
                            I'm sorry, but are you talking about me? First off, I am not Corinth. Secondly, I may be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure that, after close inspection, my avatar is indeed a boy

                            Comment

                            • Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.
                              Scientific Advisor
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 2373

                              #15
                              Homer boy / homer girl -- either way, GOD hates it.
                              Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"

                              Comment

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