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  • Hieronymous Bosch
    replied
    Re: Evolution proves men not so essential as you might think!

    Why don't you take advantage of your pagan 'science' and get your eyes fixed? They have had a cure for Strabismus for fifty or sixty years. The strabismus of your mind is incurable I am afraid.

    Leave a comment:


  • Rachael Van Helsing
    replied
    Re: Evolution proves men not so essential as you might think!

    Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
    Ms VanHellsthing
    1.Evilution shows nothing, as it is naught but a theory.

    You can call it a theory if you like, but the fact that it is supported by tangible physical evidence supports that it is a fact.

    2.Ants were created by God for some mysterious reason that involves them invading kitchens

    Balderdash. They evolved from single cells, same as the rest of us, and the fact that you live in squalor is why they invade your kitchen.

    3.Ants have no souls

    Well, I'd say even ants have a soul, they're still a life. Although of course, I don't believe in any of that heaven hell crap.

    4.Ants will not go to heaven – even women don’t want ants in heaven.

    See the above.

    5.The applicability of any science of ants to Mankind is null and void

    They are a species that reproduces sexually, and they have nullified the male gender. This has huge implications, I'm sorry to say.

    6.God places women as the cause of all earthly troubles

    Interesting. I wonder why MEN are the source of all that's gone wrong in the world. Wars. Nuclear weapons. Bio-weapons. Pollution. Need I go on?

    7.Thus men are essential.

    They perform a nice service, but they may not be essential for ever...


    Please print and post this on the wall of your coven
    Please print my replies and put them on the wall of your church.

    I hope you know Satan's favorite summertime food is BBQ rib sprinkled with the spices of sin, and there is nothing more sinfully savory to Satan than a walking, talking rib (i.e., a woman) who claims to understand God and science.
    Oho, fresh meat! Quite creative in your fundie-ness too!

    Feminist, a woman's place is to be quiet in the church and to ask her husband such questions as this in the privacy of home, as to not bring shame to yourself and waste the time of others.
    Balderdash. My other half loves that I'm fiery and passionate about things.

    If you are married to a moral man, he will softly rebuke you for reading things beyond your comprehension and then send you off to either pray, tend to your children or perhaps bake; things a modern homemaker should be doing instead of spouting of atheistic nonsense on a bastion of morality.
    Sorry, honey, but my other half prefers a woman with smarts to someone who's just an empty headed cook, cleaner, and bedroom slave.

    Stay off Satan's BBQ this summer, Rachael, and denounce this feminist propaganda article and learn to knit or sew. Practice silence. These lifelong skills will ensure you lead a life befitting a True Christian.
    Sorry, I think I forgot to ask, but who the hell are you?

    Leave a comment:


  • Adam Nelson
    replied
    Re: Evolution proves men not so essential as you might think!

    Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
    From this article:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencete...e-species.html



    Quite the clever little ant, eh?
    ...ignorance here...
    I hope you know Satan's favorite summertime food is BBQ rib sprinkled with the spices of sin, and there is nothing more sinfully savory to Satan than a walking, talking rib (i.e., a woman) who claims to understand God and science.

    Feminist, a woman's place is to be quiet in the church and to ask her husband such questions as this in the privacy of home, as to not bring shame to yourself and waste the time of others.

    If you are married to a moral man, he will softly rebuke you for reading things beyond your comprehension and then send you off to either pray, tend to your children or perhaps bake; things a modern homemaker should be doing instead of spouting of atheistic nonsense on a bastion of morality.

    Stay off Satan's BBQ this summer, Rachael, and denounce this feminist propaganda article and learn to knit or sew. Practice silence. These lifelong skills will ensure you lead a life befitting a True Christian.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ezekiel Bathfire
    replied
    Re: Evolution proves men not so essential as you might think!

    Ms VanHellsthing
    1.Evilution shows nothing, as it is naught but a theory.
    2.Ants were created by God for some mysterious reason that involves them invading kitchens
    3.Ants have no souls
    4.Ants will not go to heaven – even women don’t want ants in heaven.
    5.The applicability of any science of ants to Mankind is null and void
    6.God places women as the cause of all earthly troubles
    7.Thus men are essential.

    Please print and post this on the wall of your coven

    Leave a comment:


  • Rachael Van Helsing
    replied
    Re: Evolution proves men not so essential as you might think!

    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
    So you'd rather focus on those thunderthighs, huh?
    Not likely! You don't need to show me your thunderthighs, Zeke dear. I believe you.

    [/QUOTE]
    ENOUGH ALREADY!
    LET ME ENJOY MY EGG BACON MAYONNAISE IN PEACE!

    Leave a comment:


  • Pastor Ezekiel
    replied
    Re: Evolution proves men not so essential as you might think!

    Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
    Would you STOP IT???
    I'm eating a sandwich with extra MAYONNAISE and you are not helping me enjoy it!!
    So you'd rather focus on those thunderthighs, huh?

    Leave a comment:


  • Rachael Van Helsing
    replied
    Re: Evolution proves men not so essential as you might think!

    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
    Not as "grossed out" as you're going to be once Jesus finally comes. He's already promised in the Holy Bible to mess you up, witch.

    Jesus, come quickly!!
    Would you STOP IT???
    I'm eating a sandwich with extra MAYONNAISE and you are not helping me enjoy it!!

    Leave a comment:


  • Pastor Ezekiel
    replied
    Re: Evolution proves men not so essential as you might think!

    Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post

    Ok, I can't be the only one that was a little grossed out by that...
    Not as "grossed out" as you're going to be once Jesus finally comes. He's already promised in the Holy Bible to mess you up, witch.

    Jesus, come quickly!!

    Leave a comment:


  • Rachael Van Helsing
    replied
    Re: Evolution proves men not so essential as you might think!

    Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
    Wyhy,. yuuu,,..gud mjjking wikken,

    Awww, all that sexual tension from your fantasies built up inside you. hun? That can't be good for you...


    LISTEN HARLOT; DECENT PEOPLE DO NOT GO THREW THEIR LIVES WITH THEIR HANDS ON THEIR PRIVATES!!!
    Perhaps not, but I wonder what it was that caused your marked lack of composure in constructing your previous sentence? Almost as if your hands were otherwise occupied.....

    I also notice no denial, either.......

    Originally posted by Zeke
    If you were a True Christian™, you'd know what True Christian™ Men fantasize about.
    Men? Bears? Basements? I can only imagine....

    Jesus coming.

    Ok, I can't be the only one that was a little grossed out by that...

    Leave a comment:


  • Pastor Ezekiel
    replied
    Re: Evolution proves men not so essential as you might think!

    Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
    So then who do you fantasize about, BJ?
    Men? Bears? Zeke?
    If you were a True Christian(tm), you'd know what True Christian(tm) Men fantasize about.

    Jesus coming.

    Leave a comment:


  • Bobby-Joe
    replied
    Re: Evolution proves men not so essential as you might think!

    Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
    So then who do you fantasize about, BJ?
    Men? Bears? Zeke?
    Wyhy,. yuuu,,..gud mjjking wikken,




    LISTEN HARLOT; DECENT PEOPLE DO NOT GO THREW THEIR LIVES WITH THEIR HANDS ON THEIR PRIVATES!!!

    Leave a comment:


  • Rachael Van Helsing
    replied
    Re: Evolution proves men not so essential as you might think!

    Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
    Thank you Reverad for defending me against this she-harlot's slander. As Pastor Pistle famously said in a sermon "God bless him, but Everyone knows Bobby-Joe is the last man at Landover to have sexual fantasies about women".
    So then who do you fantasize about, BJ?
    Men? Bears? Zeke?

    Leave a comment:


  • Bobby-Joe
    replied
    Re: Evolution proves men not so essential as you might think!

    Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
    Are you suggesting that the very Godly Brother Bobby-Joe (a fine, strapping man's man, and every bit as not-gay as Pastor Ezekiel) is aroused by the idea of a demon dressed as though he were in a construction-site porno flick, sexually assaulting a terrified woman, bearing down on her with his brutish, sweat-slicked form?

    I'm appalled!
    Thank you Reverad for defending me against this she-harlot's slander. As Pastor Pistle famously said in a sermon "God bless him, but Everyone knows Bobby-Joe is the last man at Landover to have sexual fantasies about women".

    Leave a comment:


  • Rachael Van Helsing
    replied
    Re: Evolution proves men not so essential as you might think!

    Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
    I don't HAVE to, but I am more than willing. Never bet against me.
    If I ever cross paths with you, I'll take you up on that, Pastor. If a cook-off's what you want..... just so long as there would be no attempted capture and trying to force a conversion bible preaching.

    Leave a comment:


  • Pastor Al E Pistle
    replied
    Re: Evolution proves men not so essential as you might think!

    Originally posted by WickedWitch View Post
    Sounds like someone's afraid to be shown up...
    I don't HAVE to, but I am more than willing. Never bet against me.

    Leave a comment:

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