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  • The Landover Position on Natural Evolution

    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

  • #2
    Re: The Landover Position on Natural Evolution

    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
    Pastor Zeke,
    I can't tell you how much I thank God and our Lord Jesus Christ for you and for Landover Baptist Church every single day. Pastor, I love your illustrative talent, especially the "submission" silhouettes. This little illustration is so clear, so true, and so effective...I wonder if we could send it to Chick Publications to be made into one of their beautiful little tracts?

    They have such beautiful and meaningful titles and subject matter, like:

    Are Roman Catholics Christians?

    and

    Big Daddy?

    and a personal favorite,

    A Demon's Nightmare

    Once again, thank you for your insight.

    In Christ,
    Warren

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: The Landover Position on Natural Evolution

      Those pictures are amazing. I laughed. I laughed hard. Good representation of your beliefs, friend.


      Love
      ~Truth

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: The Landover Position on Natural Evolution

        Originally posted by I am Truth View Post
        Those pictures are amazing. I laughed. I laughed hard. Good representation of your beliefs, friend.


        Love
        ~Truth
        Why are you laughing, foul atheist?

        Perhaps you should look at the "Evolution Of A Sinner" part again.

        Proverbs 23:14- "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."


        All Unsaved Trash: Read this before posting.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: The Landover Position on Natural Evolution

          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
          So performing oral sex it an act of your faith?
          Posted via Pasta

          True Pastafarian™

          May my Sauce be with you!
          Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
          Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
          The Loose Canon - HTML version
          Loose Canon Fan Page
          North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
          I have been to The Volcano!

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: The Landover Position on Natural Evolution

            Originally posted by Jo Feddie View Post
            So performing oral sex it an act of your faith?
            Where do you get that from? I see no-one performing oral sex. You must have a very dirty mind, friend.
            O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



            God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: The Landover Position on Natural Evolution

              Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
              Where do you get that from? I see no-one performing oral sex. You must have a very dirty mind, friend.
              Maybe, but if that is the case can yo please explain why performing the heimlich maneuver sends you to your mythical Hell?
              Posted via Pasta

              True Pastafarian™

              May my Sauce be with you!
              Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
              Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
              The Loose Canon - HTML version
              Loose Canon Fan Page
              North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
              I have been to The Volcano!

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: The Landover Position on Natural Evolution

                Originally posted by Jo Feddie View Post
                Maybe, but if that is the case can yo please explain why performing the heimlich maneuver sends you to your mythical Hell?
                More lies. I've never performed the heimlich maneuver, or gone to Hell. Get your facts straight before you post, sonny jim.
                O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: The Landover Position on Natural Evolution

                  Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                  More lies. I've never performed the heimlich maneuver, or gone to Hell. Get your facts straight before you post, sonny jim.
                  Now now, all I am saying is that if image 2 in the first sequence is innocent and not of a man giving another man oral (Not that there is actually anything wrong with that if that is what you both like) then then image 2 in the second sequence is just as innocent, in fact I could go as far to say that you seem to be claiming it is a sin to help a friend that is choking.

                  Oh I get it , the pictures clearly show that you think it is a sin for a man to perform a sexual act with another man if they do not have hair. Why is that?
                  Posted via Pasta

                  True Pastafarian™

                  May my Sauce be with you!
                  Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
                  Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
                  The Loose Canon - HTML version
                  Loose Canon Fan Page
                  North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
                  I have been to The Volcano!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: The Landover Position on Natural Evolution

                    Originally posted by Dr. Warren Wierdsbe View Post
                    Pastor Zeke,
                    I can't tell you how much I thank God and our Lord Jesus Christ for you and for Landover Baptist Church every single day. Pastor, I love your illustrative talent, especially the "submission" silhouettes. This little illustration is so clear, so true, and so effective...I wonder if we could send it to Chick Publications to be made into one of their beautiful little tracts?

                    They have such beautiful and meaningful titles and subject matter, like:

                    Are Roman Catholics Christians?

                    and

                    Big Daddy?

                    and a personal favorite,

                    A Demon's Nightmare

                    Once again, thank you for your insight.

                    In Christ,
                    Warren
                    My favorite by far is "Lisa":





                    Comment

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