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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #1

    Lezbean Shark Impregnates Itself

    The Endtimes are approaching. It has been my suspicion for some time that satan uses sharks as his emissaries, but I'd say THIS has got to be conclusive proof.

    Study: Female sharks fertilize own eggs

    DUBLIN, Ireland - Female sharks can fertilize their own eggs and give birth without sperm from males, according to a new study of the asexual reproduction of a hammerhead in a U.S. zoo.

    The joint Northern Ireland-U.S. research, being published Wednesday in the Royal Society's peer-reviewed Biology Letter journal, analyzed the DNA of a shark born in 2001 in the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha, Neb. The shark was born in a tank with three potential mothers, none of whom had contact with a male hammerhead for at least three years.

    Analysis of the baby shark's DNA found no trace of any chromosomal contribution from a male partner. Shark experts said this was the first confirmed case in a shark of parthenogenesis, which is derived from Greek and means "virgin birth."
    And don't you just know the monkey worshipers are going to be banging their drums over this demonic claptrap.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
  • BillyThorson
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
    • Sep 2006
    • 1

    #2
    Re: Lezbean Shark Impregnates Itself

    Does this mean that Jesus has returned as a Hammerhead Shark?

    Comment

    • eliot mayfield
      God Squad
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 9324

      #3
      Re: Lezbean Shark Impregnates Itself

      No, I think this was another example of God proving to stupid non-believers that it was true that Jesus was a virgin birth. At least that's my take.
      Matthew:
      5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
      5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
      10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
      10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


      sigpic

      Comment

      • Star Finder
        Rock Worshipper
        • Sep 2006
        • 1092

        #4
        Re: Lezbean Shark Impregnates Itself

        how do they know that one of the female sharks was the mother? They have no proof. The baby could have just appeared there out of nothing.
        I am on the adventure of a lifetime! This is even better than the time I used the plastic stones!

        Comment

        • Old Iron Crotch
          SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
          • May 2007
          • 3056

          #5
          Re: Lezbean Shark Impregnates Itself

          Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
          No, I think this was another example of God proving to stupid non-believers that it was true that Jesus was a virgin birth. At least that's my take.
          By that logic, either God has taken to fathering sharks now, which would make him guilty of bestiality, or Jesus was the result of human parthenogenesis, in which case, he would have had to have been female.
          Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

          Comment

          • eliot mayfield
            God Squad
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 9324

            #6
            Re: Lezbean Shark Impregnates Itself

            Originally posted by Dances with Joy View Post
            By that logic, either God has taken to fathering sharks now, which would make him guilty of bestiality, or Jesus was the result of human parthenogenesis, in which case, he would have had to have been female.
            Miracle, one word. Which part of this word do you not understand?
            Matthew:
            5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
            5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
            10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
            10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


            sigpic

            Comment

            • Old Iron Crotch
              SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
              • May 2007
              • 3056

              #7
              Re: Lezbean Shark Impregnates Itself

              Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
              Miracle, one word. Which part of this word do you not understand?
              Biology, one word. Which part of this word do you not understand?
              Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

              Comment

              • eliot mayfield
                God Squad
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2006
                • 9324

                #8
                Re: Lezbean Shark Impregnates Itself

                Originally posted by Dances with Joy View Post
                Biology, one word. Which part of this word do you not understand?
                Actually Biology is two words.
                Bio means life
                logy means study of
                Matthew:
                5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
                5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
                10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
                10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


                sigpic

                Comment

                • Old Iron Crotch
                  SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
                  • May 2007
                  • 3056

                  #9
                  Re: Lezbean Shark Impregnates Itself

                  Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
                  Actually Biology is two words.
                  Bio means life
                  logy means study of

                  Actually, "biology" is one English word that takes its meaning from two Greek words:
                  "bios" (life) and "logia" (study of).
                  Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

                  Comment

                  • Pastor Ezekiel
                    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                     
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 78556

                    #10
                    Re: Lezbean Shark Impregnates Itself

                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                    The Endtimes are approaching. It has been my suspicion for some time that satan uses sharks as his emissaries, but I'd say THIS has got to be conclusive proof.
                    Okay, now I'm confused. Is it possible that the secular news got the lesbian shark story mixed up with the lesbian Mary Cheney story? Does this mean lesbians can self-impregnate now? Or is Mary Cheney a shark?
                    Who Will Jesus Damn?

                    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                    Comment

                    • eliot mayfield
                      God Squad
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 9324

                      #11
                      Re: Lezbean Shark Impregnates Itself

                      Originally posted by Dances with Joy View Post
                      Actually, "biology" is one English word that takes its meaning from two Greek words:
                      "bios" (life) and "logia" (study of).
                      But you still don't understand miracle!
                      Matthew:
                      5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
                      5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
                      10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
                      10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


                      sigpic

                      Comment

                      • Mrs. Rogers
                        compassion personified
                        True Christian™
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 2692

                        #12
                        Re: Lezbean Shark Impregnates Itself

                        Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
                        But you still don't understand miracle!
                        It is so sad, dear Eliot. My heart goes out to Ms. Joy, with her indepth knowledge of Greek - a homosexual romance language - and yet she knows not the Language of the LORD; she has been terribly let down by her feminazi "education".
                        True Christians are Perfect!

                        Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

                        Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

                        For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

                        Comment

                        • Old Iron Crotch
                          SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
                          • May 2007
                          • 3056

                          #13
                          Re: Lezbean Shark Impregnates Itself

                          Originally posted by Mrs. Rogers View Post
                          yet she knows not the Language of the LORD;

                          Hebrew? I've picked up a few words of it from some Jewish friends.

                          she has been terribly let down by her feminazi "education".
                          Actually, I'm quite pleased with the education I've received, both formal and self-taught.
                          Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

                          Comment

                          • eliot mayfield
                            God Squad
                            True Christian™
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 9324

                            #14
                            Re: Lezbean Shark Impregnates Itself

                            Then what is a miracle?
                            Matthew:
                            5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
                            5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
                            10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
                            10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


                            sigpic

                            Comment

                            • Old Iron Crotch
                              SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
                              • May 2007
                              • 3056

                              #15
                              Re: Lezbean Shark Impregnates Itself

                              Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
                              Then what is a miracle?
                              A figment of the imagination.
                              Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

                              Comment

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