Global Warming is REAL!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

I've been as much a skeptic of global warming as anyone here -- especially the assertion that it's "anthropogenic" (caused by man).

But this article convinces me otherwise:

It has nothing to do with Carbon Dioxide or Methane.

As society dissolves into a “santorum“-soaked orgy of sodomania, God’s wrath is increasingly kindled. That is what we see on the thermometer; with every Marine showing his buddies how a “real man” satisfies an entire platoon, and every baby ripped out of its mother’s womb, and every altar boy raped by a Catholic priest in Santorum’s “Whore of Babylon” cult, and every woman who leaves her husband to have a “career”, and every latex wrapper that prevents a pregnancy, God turns up the thermostat.

When a Muslim is given special rights in a formerly-Christian country, God is further enraged. But do we hear about that in the news? Of course not! Only on JihadWatch!

God sent a dream to me last night, explaining what would happen.

He goes on to explain his dream, in which God whispers in the ears of scienticians so they can cure AIDS and aging and make people resistant to heat and radiation . . . all in time for God to turn Earth into Hell!

It all makes perfect sense. I don't know why I didn't realize it before . . . Our life on Earth is in Hell, it just isn't Hell yet!

Thank God we get to go to Heaven! I'm going to my prayer closet to share my gratitude with the Lord right now.

[Alphonse Alban]

Re: Global Warming is REAL!

It's that damn daylight saving time increasing yield of sunshine on polar glaciers and making them melt. It's all Benjamin Franklin's fault.

[StarMan]

Re: Global Warming is REAL!

Do not be swayed by evil satanic information sources. We KNOW the lord gave us the Earth and that we may use it as we please. Drill baby drill until its all gone. Our lord will NEVER let the Earth parish, he will stop it before it comes to that and save all the good Jesus loving Christians in his loving embrace and leave the rest to the evil atheists and other Satan worshipers. Join with the lords love!

[WWJDnow]

Re: Global Warming is REAL!

I don't understand these so-called climate scientists. Let's grant for the sake of argument that the Earth is warming. The Chicken Little liberal scientists all say that will cause the oceans to rise, wiping out coastal communities. But God told us in the Bible that there would be no more global floods. There simply isn't anything to worry about.

[Brother Helge]

Re: Global Warming is REAL!

If there actually is such a thing as "Global warming" it make sense that it's caused by the fires of Hell.
With an increasing number of atheists entering Hell, it's logical that the fires get larger and hence produce more heat.