[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?

I'm pretty sure Jesus is dead too.

Well I know your tribe did their level best to kill Him, but the bad news for you is: HE LIVES!!

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?

I'm pretty sure Jesus is dead too.


Atheists worship a dead guy...
Christians worship a dead guy...
I'm sorry, but as a Jew, I can see that your logic is just as bad as the monkey worshippers.

Hi there! Welcome to our friendly forums. We’d like to get to know you and greet you properly. Tell us what church you go to, what your favorite Bible verse is, and how you came to find Jesus in this wicked, dark world. For your convenience, you can read this primer for noobs. Finally, Professor Enobarbus explains Landover Baptist's universal declaration of rights on our forum.

[Andrew the Kike]

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?

I'm pretty sure Jesus is dead too.


Atheists worship a dead guy...
Christians worship a dead guy...
I'm sorry, but as a Jew, I can see that your logic is just as bad as the monkey worshippers.

[Attila's Wife]

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?

If you look at his other comments according to Mr. Clever Chops atheist we are 98% bonobo and 55% banana. That's 153%! I always knew these atteists were numpties but that just prooves it.

And that's not even including the 50% tse tse fly bit!

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?

If we're 55% banana tree and 50% tse tse fly, that's 105% unless I've gone senile or something.

.

If you look at his other comments according to Mr. Clever Chops atheist we are 98% bonobo and 55% banana. That's 153%! I always knew these atteists were numpties but that just prooves it.

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?

Atheists don't believe that everything came from monkeys.

There is nothing atheists have in common except for the lack in belief of a supernatural being.

If you are referring to the theory of evolution, the theory does not state that 'everything came from monkeys', or even that humans came from monkeys. Rather, it states that humans and monkeys have a common ancestor.

Well, ok, NEARLY everything then. Quit stalling and face the music of your own hoky theory.

In the Bible, the animals were brought to Adam and he named them (Genesis 2:19), so they could not have "evolved" from each other. It's right there in the Bible in black and white. You can't change that. I trust Moses over the fossil record any day.

Indeed, it states that all life has a common ancestor. Data that supports this, for example, is the fact that humans share 98% of their DNA with bonobos and 55% with banana trees.

So you're saying I have parents and grandparents and great grandparents, and one of those great grandparents way, way back there is a banana tree???!!!

I've heard it all now!

Pastor Ed

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?

Listen up and listen up good. boy. We are not interested in your pervervse sexual proclivities and whatever else you do with monkies.

It just goes to show what a government schooling does to kids these days. Bananas' and monkies indeed. Was your teacher a nigra or a joo or some such thing?

If we're 55% banana tree and 50% tse tse fly, that's 105% unless I've gone senile or something.

50%

.

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?

Atheists don't believe that everything came from monkeys.

There is nothing atheists have in common except for the lack in belief of a supernatural being.

If you are referring to the theory of evolution, the theory does not state that 'everything came from monkeys', or even that humans came from monkeys. Rather, it states that humans and monkeys have a common ancestor.

Indeed, it states that all life has a common ancestor. Data that supports this, for example, is the fact that humans share 98% of their DNA with bonobos and 55% with banana trees.

Listen up and listen up good. boy. We are not interested in your pervervse sexual proclivities and whatever else you do with monkies.

It just goes to show what a government schooling does to kids these days. Bananas' and monkies indeed. Was your teacher a nigra or a joo or some such thing?

[HonestSeeker]

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?

Atheists don't believe that everything came from monkeys.

Typical pinko flip flopping. Now that you done seen all the scriptural evidences agin your evilutionist psychobabble, you're trying to walk it back. And tripping over your tail. "I never said we done come from monkeys!" Blah blah blah. Pathetic.

Too late boy, we all here done seen what you writ.

There is nothing atheists have in common except for the lack in belief of a supernatural being

Bull bunions. Y'all are also all pinko fags. Moreover, your master Satan is a supernatural being; don't even try to tell me you don't believe on him.

If you are referring to the theory of evolution, the theory does not state that 'everything came from monkeys', or even that humans came from monkeys. Rather, it states that humans and monkeys have a common ancestor.

Blah blah blah. What a pretentious pinko demon you are. OK smarty pants, if humans and monkeys had a common ancestor, what was his name?

Cricket chirp... Cricket chirp... Cricket chirp....

Indeed, it states that all life has a common ancestor. Data that supports this, for example, is the fact that humans share 98% of their DNA with bonobos and 55% with banana trees.

Now I've heard it all. Humans is 55% banana? You are just the dumbest atheist I ever done come across. What's the matter son, you got monkey shit for brains? Even Darwin hisself would roll his accursed eyes at that gibberish. Banannerz? Damn son, Darwin sure done made a monkey out of you.

How the handkerchief can you share yer DNA anyway? Whatchya gonna do, cut a chunk of goo out of your leg and shove it up a bonobo's ass?

Don't come down to Blaine talking that crap son; some of us still believe in the right to bear arms.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?

Atheists don't believe that everything came from monkeys.

There is nothing atheists have in common except for the lack in belief of a supernatural being.

If you are referring to the theory of evolution, the theory does not state that 'everything came from monkeys', or even that humans came from monkeys. Rather, it states that humans and monkeys have a common ancestor.

Indeed, it states that all life has a common ancestor. Data that supports this, for example, is the fact that humans share 98% of their DNA with bonobos and 55% with banana trees.

Hold up there, pahtna.

I got all kinda genes and blue jeans, too. I'm about 30% Welsh or less maybe. Are you saying I'm more closely related to a banana tree than any other particular tribe that I'm related to?

It's hard to credit that kind of thinking. I think you'd have to be some kind of idiot to believe that.

Can't you see that you are being led down the road of gullibility by the cult of science? You know, if it sounds ridiculous, it probably is.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?

Now that you have grasped the concept of demons, have you ever noticed how evolutionists keep going on about how we're 98% chimpanzee?

Demons in your eyeballs, must be.

And yet in almost the same breath, depending on location and current obsession, claim that although they are apparently supposed to be human too, we are only between 1½ – 4% Neanderthal? See how it doesn't make sense?

EXAMPLE

humans share 98% of their DNA with bonobos and 55% with banana trees.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?

...I need new glasses, don't I?...

Demons in your eyeballs, must be. Or, demons in your old glasses, making them not work properly.

Now, I'm not saying it's demons, but... demons.

Any money spent on new glasses (which could very well be demon-infested themselves) would be better put towards moar tithing and/or having your present glasses exorcised by one of the Certified Not-A-Scam® Satisfaction Guaranteed or No Money Refunded (if it doesn't work it's because you didn't pay enough, obv) team of expert de-Demonizers from Bendover Laptist.

Anyone you happen to injure or kill while operating your motor vehicle while not being able to see past your own front bumper, well, it's what God wanted to happen so what are they complaining about?

[Attila's Wife]

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?

I just clicked on New Posts and read this as Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Meerkats?

I need new glasses, don't I? But the idea is really no sillier than the idea that we come from monkeys.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?

Ah, so atheists believe monkeys come from banana trees. Makes perfect sense.

[karosyrup713]

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?

Atheists don't believe that everything came from monkeys.

There is nothing atheists have in common except for the lack in belief of a supernatural being.

If you are referring to the theory of evolution, the theory does not state that 'everything came from monkeys', or even that humans came from monkeys. Rather, it states that humans and monkeys have a common ancestor.

Indeed, it states that all life has a common ancestor. Data that supports this, for example, is the fact that humans share 98% of their DNA with bonobos and 55% with banana trees.