[MissEnema]

Re: A Condensed History of the World

Actually, the Ritz-Carlton down here in Laguna Beach would be a good location for me to witness for you and convert you from your Satanic ways. All the staff know me well there, so we can be assured we will have the utmost privacy as I probe deeply into your soul and orally witness to you.

You guys crack me up

or I can arrange a plane ticket.

yeay! free holiday

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: A Condensed History of the World

No thanks, I don't believe in fairy tales.

Don't say I didn't give you a choice, defiant tramp!

Now, we're going to have to do this the hard way....how unfortunate! I live in Southern California. Where do you live? We can meet halfway or I can arrange a plane ticket.

Actually, the Ritz-Carlton down here in Laguna Beach would be a good location for me to witness for you and convert you from your Satanic ways. All the staff know me well there, so we can be assured we will have the utmost privacy as I probe deeply into your soul and orally witness to you.

[MissEnema]

Re: A Condensed History of the World

Of course, we can bypass all this corporeal punishment if you willingly and truthfully repent your harlot ways right now and accept before the good people of Landover, the truth that Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior.

No thanks, I don't believe in fairy tales.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: A Condensed History of the World

Well Jim, if I read the posts on this site I do really get that impression yes. You talk about whipping, hitting and punishing women like they do on any S&M-site.

There is a huge difference, Jezebel. I do these dirty, sordid deeds to help convince young women that they are sinners and need to be born again. Those filthy fags on the S&M site do it for it's own sake...because they like to be whipped or dominate others as slaves.

The Bible commands us men to have tight control over women. It is the breakdown of the family and Christianity that has enabled young foolish women like you to run wild and run errands for Satan.

Of course, we can bypass all this corporeal punishment if you willingly and truthfully repent your harlot ways right now and accept before the good people of Landover, the truth that Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior.

[MissEnema]

Re: A Condensed History of the World

You think I actually like whipping young women for my own pleasure?

Well Jim, if I read the posts on this site I do really get that impression yes. You talk about whipping, hitting and punishing women like they do on any S&M-site.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: A Condensed History of the World

Is that a promise? because I might just enjoy that

You sick, twisted, perverted sex fiend! You think this is supposed to be enjoyable? You think I actually like whipping young women for my own pleasure? You are wrong! I do the Good Lord's work. This is serious business, hussy. Don't mock what Jesus commands of me!

[MissEnema]

Re: A Condensed History of the World

You heretical harlot! Why, I ought to give you a whooping for daring to question the Bible. And not just an ordinary whooping, no. First I would tie your hands to a post. Then I would lift up your skirt and pull down your panties, exposing your young, smooth buttocks. Then I would have you lean forward and arch your back, spreading your legs a bit.

I would stand there, staring at you. Knowing you are a foul sinner about to receive penance for her transgressions. I would then get a cat o' nine tails and swing it around a bit. Then, it would happen. I would spank your bare buttocks with the cat repeatedly. Then I would sit back and watch the bruises and welts form. Then, I would whip you some more. I would scream at you and call you every imaginable name: "Harlot!", "Hussy!", "Jezebel!", "Slut!", "Foul temptress!"

Is that a promise? because I might just enjoy that

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: A Condensed History of the World

And how would you know they are true? It's not like you can go back into time to check if the person(s) writing those words was not just high on some mind-altering drug and inventing stories.
There is PROOF enough that they are just that, stories.

You heretical harlot! Why, I ought to give you a whooping for daring to question the Bible. And not just an ordinary whooping, no. First I would tie your hands to a post. Then I would lift up your skirt and pull down your panties, exposing your young, smooth buttocks. Then I would have you lean forward and arch your back, spreading your legs a bit.

I would stand there, staring at you. Knowing you are a foul sinner about to receive penance for her transgressions. I would then get a cat o' nine tails and swing it around a bit. Then, it would happen. I would spank your bare buttocks with the cat repeatedly. Then I would sit back and watch the bruises and welts form. Then, I would whip you some more. I would scream at you and call you every imaginable name: "Harlot!", "Hussy!", "Jezebel!", "Slut!", "Foul temptress!"

That's right. You'd be crying, tears streaming down your cheeks. You'd be begging God for forgiveness and to release you from your sinful ways. And I would lean over you, my mouth against your cheek and whisper to you: "It is okay, my young darling. You will be saved. Jesus Christ will be with you."

You might be surprised how often the aforementioned method works. Why, I've saved hundreds of young girls like yourself with it!

[MissEnema]

Re: A Condensed History of the World

They believe them Because There True Not Fairy tales girl

And how would you know they are true? It's not like you can go back into time to check if the person(s) writing those words was not just high on some mind-altering drug and inventing stories.
There is PROOF enough that they are just that, stories.

[Miss April]

Re: A Condensed History of the World

Nope, trying to figure out how come so many people can believe that those fairy tales told in the bible are true.

They believe them Because There True Not Fairy tales girl

[MissEnema]

Re: A Condensed History of the World

That's Very sick Girl Why Are you here Then? Let me guess Two Mock God?

Nope, trying to figure out how come so many people can believe that those fairy tales told in the bible are true.

[Miss April]

Re: A Condensed History of the World

The stories in the KJV are sooooooooooo boring!!!
I'd rather be touched by His Noodly Appendage!

That's Very sick Girl Why Are you here Then? Let me guess Two Mock God?

[MissEnema]

Re: A Condensed History of the World

The stories in the KJV are sooooooooooo boring!!!
I'd rather be touched by His Noodly Appendage!

[Jo Freddie]

Re: A Condensed History of the World

I was going Two read it but its nothing but lies and boring crap

And this is not BORING?

"1": These are the sons of Israel; Reuben, Simeon, Levi, and Judah, Issachar, and Zebulun,

"2": Dan, Joseph, and Benjamin, Naphtali, Gad, and Asher.

"3": The sons of Judah; Er, and Onan, and Shelah: which three were born unto him of the daughter of Shua the Canaanitess. And Er, the firstborn of Judah, was evil in the sight of the LORD; and he slew him.

"4": And Tamar his daughter in law bare him Pharez and Zerah. All the sons of Judah were five.

"5": The sons of Pharez; Hezron, and Hamul.

"6": And the sons of Zerah; Zimri, and Ethan, and Heman, and Calcol, and Dara: five of them in all.

"7": And the sons of Carmi; Achar, the troubler of Israel, who transgressed in the thing accursed.

"8": And the sons of Ethan; Azariah.

"9": The sons also of Hezron, that were born unto him; Jerahmeel, and Ram, and Chelubai.

"10": And Ram begat Amminadab; and Amminadab begat Nahshon, prince of the children of Judah;

"11": And Nahshon begat Salma, and Salma begat Boaz,

"12": And Boaz begat Obed, and Obed begat Jesse,

"13": And Jesse begat his firstborn Eliab, and Abinadab the second, and Shimma the third,

"14": Nethaneel the fourth, Raddai the fifth,

"15": Ozem the sixth, David the seventh:

"16": Whose sisters were Zeruiah, and Abigail. And the sons of Zeruiah; Abishai, and Joab, and Asahel, three.

"17": And Abigail bare Amasa: and the father of Amasa was Jether the Ishmeelite.

"18": And Caleb the son of Hezron begat children of Azubah his wife, and of Jerioth: her sons are these; Jesher, and Shobab, and Ardon.

"19": And when Azubah was dead, Caleb took unto him Ephrath, which bare him Hur.

"20": And Hur begat Uri, and Uri begat Bezaleel.

"21": And afterward Hezron went in to the daughter of Machir the father of Gilead, whom he married when he was threescore years old; and she bare him Segub.

"22": And Segub begat Jair, who had three and twenty cities in the land of Gilead.

"23": And he took Geshur, and Aram, with the towns of Jair, from them, with Kenath, and the towns thereof, even threescore cities. All these belonged to the sons of Machir the father of Gilead.

"24": And after that Hezron was dead in Caleb-ephratah, then Abiah Hezron's wife bare him Ashur the father of Tekoa.

"25": And the sons of Jerahmeel the firstborn of Hezron were, Ram the firstborn, and Bunah, and Oren, and Ozem, and Ahijah.

"26": Jerahmeel had also another wife, whose name was Atarah; she was the mother of Onam.

"27": And the sons of Ram the firstborn of Jerahmeel were, Maaz, and Jamin, and Eker.

"28": And the sons of Onam were, Shammai, and Jada. And the sons of Shammai; Nadab, and Abishur.

"29": And the name of the wife of Abishur was Abihail, and she bare him Ahban, and Molid.

"30": And the sons of Nadab; Seled, and Appaim: but Seled died without children.

"31": And the sons of Appaim; Ishi. And the sons of Ishi; Sheshan. And the children of Sheshan; Ahlai.

"32": And the sons of Jada the brother of Shammai; Jether and Jonathan: and Jether died without children.

"33": And the sons of Jonathan; Peleth, and Zaza. These were the sons of Jerahmeel.

"34": Now Sheshan had no sons, but daughters. And Sheshan had a servant, an Egyptian, whose name was Jarha.

"35": And Sheshan gave his daughter to Jarha his servant to wife; and she bare him Attai.

"36": And Attai begat Nathan, and Nathan begat Zabad,

"37": And Zabad begat Ephlal, and Ephlal begat Obed,

"38": And Obed begat Jehu, and Jehu begat Azariah,

"39": And Azariah begat Helez, and Helez begat Eleasah,

"40": And Eleasah begat Sisamai, and Sisamai begat Shallum,

"41": And Shallum begat Jekamiah, and Jekamiah begat Elishama.

"42": Now the sons of Caleb the brother of Jerahmeel were, Mesha his firstborn, which was the father of Ziph; and the sons of Mareshah the father of Hebron.

"43": And the sons of Hebron; Korah, and Tappuah, and Rekem, and Shema.

"44": And Shema begat Raham, the father of Jorkoam: and Rekem begat Shammai.

"45": And the son of Shammai was Maon: and Maon was the father of Beth-zur.

"46": And Ephah, Caleb's concubine, bare Haran, and Moza, and Gazez: and Haran begat Gazez.

"47": And the sons of Jahdai; Regem, and Jotham, and Geshan, and Pelet, and Ephah, and Shaaph.

"48": Maachah, Caleb's concubine, bare Sheber, and Tirhanah.

"49": She bare also Shaaph the father of Madmannah, Sheva the father of Machbenah, and the father of Gibea: and the daughter of Caleb was Achsah.

"50": These were the sons of Caleb the son of Hur, the firstborn of Ephratah; Shobal the father of Kirjath-jearim,

"51": Salma the father of Bethlehem, Hareph the father of Beth-gader.

"52": And Shobal the father of Kirjath-jearim had sons; Haroeh, and half of the Manahethites.

"53": And the families of Kirjath-jearim; the Ithrites, and the Puhites, and the Shumathites, and the Mishraites; of them came the Zareathites, and the Eshtaulites.

"54": The sons of Salma; Bethlehem, and the Netophathites, Ataroth, the house of Joab, and half of the Manahethites, the Zorites.

"55": And the families of the scribes which dwelt at Jabez; the Tirathites, the Shimeathites, and Suchathites. These are the Kenites that came of Hemath, the father of the house of Rechab.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: A Condensed History of the World

This has to be one of the most amusing posts on the Internet. I am speechless. My little story is nothing compared to this guy.

See the truth is a lot more fun then that dusty fairy tale their try to peddle here.