[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: What won't New Agers believe?

I don't see why that's any less reasonable than believing that God is an invisible friend in the sky who sacrificed himself to himself so he could change his own rule.

Because you are a woman. God made women from, literally, a spare rib, not a brain cell. Comport yourself with that knowledge in mind.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: What won't New Agers believe?

Because you are a woman. God made women from, literally, a spare rib, not a brain cell. Comport yourself with that knowledge in mind.

Actually Pastor Al, I should clarify about this human you are talking about. See, "she" was born a man and has been taking hormones to turn himself into a woman. Yet "she" identifies as being a lesbian, since "she" is attracted to women.

So, naturally expected, its thinking is a little screwed up. If they can't even get their gender straight, why should we think they have their arguments straight?

[Jo Freddie]

Re: What won't New Agers believe?

Listen up, Pastabrain!

I'm not just against your cult because they are wrong, but also because of the social damage they wreak upon innocent lives. Is it no surprise, that you can statistically prove a connection between the popularity of the FSM on the internet and book sales with an increase of piracy off of Somalia and American youth becoming more obese?

The FSM is recruiting for the Pirate Agenda. It used to be pirates were looked upon in shame. Now you are going around telling everybody that its "okay" to be a pirate, that it's not a choice it's something you're born with. Then we have movies like Pirates of the Caribbean that GLORIFY the sordid, disgusting PIRATE LIFESTYLE, or should I say Deathstyle, since they all seem to die early.

So, is it any wonder that this increase of acceptance of piracy that your cult promotes is tied directly to inspire young Somali men to go out and live as pirates themselves?

On the other hand, the Church of Spaceship Jesus is a completely beneficial church that only offers help and goodwill towards society at large. By promoting and giving free advertising to the sacred hotel/tourism industry, we help keep this economy going. Without a doubt, if there was no Mad Prophet Helmholtz telling the world to $pend, $pend, $pend and maximize their consumerist lifestyles, the economy would be in even worse shape than it is now! No joke!

Pastafarianism is the only religion based on empirical evidence.

Look at the cultures that have fully accepted Pasta and The Noodle and you will find they do not have the problems with obesity that the cultures that live of burgers and fries do.

Calling oneself a Pirate, or dressing up as one, does not make one a true Pirate; it takes much more. In what way are modern-day "Pirates," with their speedboats and machine guns, similar to the fun-loving adventurous buccaneers from history? They are not Gods chosen people, only true Pirates are.

[Bryan Tamariki]

Re: What won't New Agers believe?

Noodle-head: remember that most pirates were perverted queers who lived by the motto 'rum, sodomy and the lash'.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: What won't New Agers believe?

Noodle-head: remember that most pirates were perverted queers who lived by the motto 'rum, sodomy and the lash'.

You Sir, have fallen victim to the propaganda of the Krishnas.

[Bryan Tamariki]

Re: What won't New Agers believe?

I read and obey The Word of God, King James Version ,

not rubbish written by saffron-wearing, blue demon-worshipping, pacifists.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: What won't New Agers believe?

I read and obey The Word of God, King James Version ,

not rubbish written by saffron-wearing, blue demon-worshipping, pacifists.

I don't care which fairly tales you read, you have still evidently fallen for their anti-pirate propaganda.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: What won't New Agers believe?

Calling oneself a Pirate, or dressing up as one, does not make one a true Pirate; it takes much more. In what way are modern-day "Pirates," with their speedboats and machine guns, similar to the fun-loving adventurous buccaneers from history?

They use boats and weapons to attack cargo vessels, they rape, kidnap, and kill people (not necessarily in that order), and they steal valuable goods and ships.

Pretty much the definition of a pirate.

Would you next like me to explain how butt-pirates are like olden-days pirates?

[Jo Freddie]

Re: What won't New Agers believe?

They use boats and weapons to attack cargo vessels, they rape, kidnap, and kill people (not necessarily in that order), and they steal valuable goods and ships.

Pretty much the definition of a pirate.

Would you next like me to explain how butt-pirates are like olden-days pirates?

Yet another fool who has fallen for the Christian and Krishna propaganda about Pirates.

As the Gospel tells us
Two Thousand-Five Hundred Years Ago:
The Golden Age of Pirates

"What we’re told of Pirates in history books today is blatantly wrong, Thieves and outcasts they were not – these were His Chosen People, the ones who listened and followed His divine plan, whatever it was. The commonly propagated myth that Pirates were thieves can be traced, unsurprisingly to the Christian theologists of the Middle Ages. It’s just another example of the discrimination and misinformation that we’ve had to contend with over the years, and another reason Pastafarians have been so secretive about their beliefs.

Regardless of the lies told about them, the first Pastafarians were peace-loving explorers and spreaders of goodwill, not bloodthirsty criminal Pirates. In fact, they were well known to distribute candy to passing children, thus establishing what is now known as Halloween."

Clearly these modern so called Pirates are nothing like the real Pirates, I have not heard of one instance of them distributing candy to passing children

[Shinigami]

Re: What won't New Agers believe?

Yet another fool who has fallen for the Christian and Krishna propaganda about Pirates.

As the Gospel tells us
Two Thousand-Five Hundred Years Ago:
The Golden Age of Pirates

"What we’re told of Pirates in history books today is blatantly wrong, Thieves and outcasts they were not – these were His Chosen People, the ones who listened and followed His divine plan, whatever it was. The commonly propagated myth that Pirates were thieves can be traced, unsurprisingly to the Christian theologists of the Middle Ages. It’s just another example of the discrimination and misinformation that we’ve had to contend with over the years, and another reason Pastafarians have been so secretive about their beliefs.

Regardless of the lies told about them, the first Pastafarians were peace-loving explorers and spreaders of goodwill, not bloodthirsty criminal Pirates. In fact, they were well known to distribute candy to passing children, thus establishing what is now known as Halloween."

Clearly these modern so called Pirates are nothing like the real Pirates, I have not heard of one instance of them distributing candy to passing children

You made that up. Anyone can tell you made that up. Anyone could go and buy a Bible and know that we didn't make our stuff up. That's why we are better than you. That's why we are right and you are wrong.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: What won't New Agers believe?

You made that up. Anyone can tell you made that up. Anyone could go and buy a Bible and know that we didn't make our stuff up. That's why we are better than you. That's why we are right and you are wrong.

Anyone can go and buy The Gospel of The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

ISBN: 9780812976564
ISBN-10: 0812976568


I say yet again, Pastafarianism is the only religion based on empirical evidence.


Your book was written not by God, but by a bunch of nomads who did not even know the full glory of creation or eat anything like enough Pasta, then mistranslated into broken English in the 17th century.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: What won't New Agers believe?

Anyone can go and buy The Gospel of The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

ISBN: 9780812976564
ISBN-10: 0812976568


I say yet again, Pastafarianism is the only religion based on empirical evidence.


Your book was written not by God, but by a bunch of nomads who did not even know the full glory of creation or eat anything like enough Pasta, then mistranslated into broken English in the 17th century.

The Bible was dictated to the scribes of King James by GOD. I know. My relative, Sir Lancelot Pistle was employed as a proofreader and supervisor. While he couldn't actually read, he walked the dimly lit caverns full of scribes with a cat-o-nine and motivated them to maintain a constant workflow. I am proud to say that the males in my family have always, throughout history, been very good at motivating scribes.

In any case, your horrible mistake is the attempt to bestow a divine presence into a food cult. It won't work. It is like salting the rim of a glass and then making a margarita with expensive tequila and Slim-Fast....or selling pizza-on-a-stick. I can't explain exactly why it won't work, but I know in my heart that something is very wrong with the concept.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: What won't New Agers believe?

The Bible was dictated to the scribes of King James by GOD. I know. My relative, Sir Lancelot Pistle was employed as a proofreader and supervisor. While he couldn't actually read, he walked the dimly lit caverns full of scribes with a cat-o-nine and motivated them to maintain a constant workflow. I am proud to say that the males in my family have always, throughout history, been very good at motivating scribes.

Than you Pastor Al, this explains SO MUCH.

Evidently the scribes knew your relative was an illiterate halfwit so, as their only way to get back at him for the injustices he committed against them, they wrote a Joke quasi religious text and called it The King James Bible.

The must be having a great time with the Beer Volcanoes and Stripper Factories, knowing they got one over on Sir Lancelot Pistle, their can properly hear him constantly complying about the stale Beer and Poxy strippers he has to make do with. I bet their are having a great laugh as they see how his desendants have still not got the joke. Watching Earth from Heaven saying to each other "Those Pistles are still as gullible as ever"

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: What won't New Agers believe?

Yet another fool who has fallen for the Christian and Krishna propaganda about Pirates.

As the Gospel tells us
Two Thousand-Five Hundred Years Ago:
The Golden Age of Pirates

"What we’re told of Pirates in history books today is blatantly wrong, Thieves and outcasts they were not – these were His Chosen People, the ones who listened and followed His divine plan, whatever it was. The commonly propagated myth that Pirates were thieves can be traced, unsurprisingly to the Christian theologists of the Middle Ages. It’s just another example of the discrimination and misinformation that we’ve had to contend with over the years, and another reason Pastafarians have been so secretive about their beliefs.

Regardless of the lies told about them, the first Pastafarians were peace-loving explorers and spreaders of goodwill, not bloodthirsty criminal Pirates. In fact, they were well known to distribute candy to passing children, thus establishing what is now known as Halloween."

Clearly these modern so called Pirates are nothing like the real Pirates, I have not heard of one instance of them distributing candy to passing children

According to your Chief Prophet, global warming occurred in conjunction with the decline in the pirate population.

This indicates that there were tens of thousands of pirates in the 1820s, and still more than 15,000 in the 1920s.

Strange, my father was born in the 1920s, and he has no knowledge of these goody-goody candy-distributing "pirates" of yours. The only ones he recall were murderous monsters, just like in Pirates of the Caribbean, or frog-buggering perverts, like in Muppet Treasure Island.

Odd that they're not mentioned in history books, either.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: What won't New Agers believe?

According to your Chief Prophet, global warming occurred in conjunction with the decline in the pirate population.

This indicates that there were tens of thousands of pirates in the 1820s, and still more than 15,000 in the 1920s.

Strange, my father was born in the 1920s, and he has no knowledge of these goody-goody candy-distributing "pirates" of yours. The only ones he recall were murderous monsters, just like in Pirates of the Caribbean, or frog-buggering perverts, like in Muppet Treasure Island.

Odd that they're not mentioned in history books, either.

You keep being taken in by the lies of the Christens and the Krishnas.

As the Gospel also tells us
1700 to Today:
Of Pasta and Pirates

"Hunted nearly to extinction, the Pirates were indeed quite pissed off for several centuries, and the textbooks reveal every detail of the looting and pillaging but are suspiciously quiet about the fact that Pirates were well known for passing out candy to children. (If you ever read a Pirate textbook, you’d think they were Jesus) The sad truth is that the other religions were jealous of the Pirates and their happy lifestyles – it’s that simple. Thankfully for the Pirates, the attacks eventually slowed down and then nearly stopped altogether as the other religions inevitably turned against one another. Which is where we find ourselves today.

While it is becoming common knowledge that declining Pirate numbers are a direct result of religious persecution, what is not yet known is what happened to the remaining Pirates and where they are located.

Sadly, many Pirates simply hid their treasures, gave away their giant turtles, and retired, moving to places like Ireland (Most Celtic artwork resembles the FSM, which leads us to believe many Pirates simply became druids, Also, there is a striking similarity between midgets and leprechauns) and ironically India (Possibly believing that all the Hari Krishnas had moved to California) Other hid out in the Straits of Malaysia, while others formed well-known sports franchises."

That explains where the Pirates where hiding in the 1820's

Even with the bad picture the propagandists tried to paint about the Pirates, they did write about them at the time, unlike your Jesus who no one seems to have noticed at the time when he was meant to be doing so many amazing things.