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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #1

    Naked Christian Cult Embarrasses Jesus

    THIS kind of this just gives normal Christians like us a bad name. While I work hard to maintain a trim, musclar pysique to please Jesus, not everyone does. I am certain that God does not want to look at the cellulite deposits on certain True Christian(tm) thighs (I won't name names, ladies ).

    Virginia church worships in the buff

    Va. (KFSN) -- People who attend a church in Virginia don't have to worry about finding something to wear on Sundays because clothing is optional.

    "I really don't think God cares what you wear when you worship," said one congregant Richard Foley.

    Members at White Tail Chapel say they have no problem getting the word of god from a pastor in his birthday suit because they focus on worship.

    The church's pastor also says Jesus was naked during some of his most important moments.

    "When he was born he was naked, when he was crucified he was naked and when he arose he left his clothes in the tomb and he was naked. If God made us that way, how can that be wrong," the pastor of White Tail Chapel Allen Parker said.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
  • Mrs. Rogers
    compassion personified
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 2692

    #2
    Re: Naked Christian Cult Embarrasses Jesus

    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
    I am certain that God does not want to look at the cellulite deposits on certain True Christian™ thighs (I won't name names, ladies ).
    Oh course He doesn't. This is why all Ladies Of A Certain Age ought to shower, dress and undress in complete darkness.

    The LORD finds nudity disgusting enough without being subjected to extraneous wobbly bits!
    True Christians are Perfect!

    Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

    Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

    For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

    Comment

    • TrueJuggaloMaMa
      Unsaved trash God-hating feminazi clown
      Advise pastors of any suspicious activity!
      • Feb 2010
      • 165

      #3
      Re: Naked Christian Cult Embarrasses Jesus

      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
      THIS kind of this just gives normal Christians like us a bad name. While I work hard to maintain a trim, musclar pysique to please Jesus, not everyone does. I am certain that God does not want to look at the cellulite deposits on certain True Christian™ thighs (I won't name names, ladies ).
      Wow they did a news story on them on our local station just today. They are national news.

      I gotta say I don't wanna see it.
      When I go to church I am properly dressed. Yes believe it or not this Feminazi wheres a dress. It is a sin to wear pants to church.
      For ladies I mean. Not saying for men not to wear them like this guy.
      John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

      3:36 He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.

      Comment

      • Meek and Humble
        Biblical Poet, Warrior and Scholar
        Biblical Black Belt
        Jr. Pastor
        True Christian™
        • Dec 2008
        • 6197

        #4
        Re: Naked Christian Cult Embarrasses Jesus

        Originally posted by TrueJuggaloMaMa View Post
        Wow they did a news story on them on our local station just today. They are national news.

        I gotta say I don't wanna see it.
        When I go to church I am properly dressed. Yes believe it or not this Feminazi wheres a dress. It is a sin to wear pants to church.
        For ladies I mean. Not saying for men not to wear them like this guy.
        Yes, but do you do as God commands and COVER YOUR HAIR when you are in church?!

        Blogger is a blog publishing tool from Google for easily sharing your thoughts with the world. Blogger makes it simple to post text, photos and video onto your personal or team blog.


        1 Corinthians 11: 4Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head.
        5But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven.
        6For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.
        7For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.
        8For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man.
        9Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

        Comment

        • Pastor Ezekiel
          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 78556

          #5
          Re: Naked Christian Cult Embarrasses Jesus

          Originally posted by TrueJuggaloMaMa View Post
          Wow they did a news story on them on our local station just today. They are national news.

          I gotta say I don't wanna see it.
          When I go to church I am properly dressed. Yes believe it or not this Feminazi wheres a dress. It is a sin to wear pants to church.
          For ladies I mean. Not saying for men not to wear them like this guy.
          It's a sin for ladies to wear pants anytime.

          Doesn't your husband beat you for that?
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • BelieverInGod
            Fourm Member
            Forum Member
            • Feb 2010
            • 9269

            #6
            Re: Naked Christian Cult Embarrasses Jesus

            Originally posted by TrueJuggaloMaMa View Post
            When I go to church I am properly dressed. Yes believe it or not this Feminazi wheres a dress. It is a sin to wear pants to church.
            For ladies I mean. Not saying for men not to wear them like this guy.


            Drama queen

            Comment

            • TrueJuggaloMaMa
              Unsaved trash God-hating feminazi clown
              Advise pastors of any suspicious activity!
              • Feb 2010
              • 165

              #7
              Re: Naked Christian Cult Embarrasses Jesus

              Originally posted by BelieverInGod View Post


              Very good believer.

              Here's another
              John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

              3:36 He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.

              Comment

              • TrueJuggaloMaMa
                Unsaved trash God-hating feminazi clown
                Advise pastors of any suspicious activity!
                • Feb 2010
                • 165

                #8
                Re: Naked Christian Cult Embarrasses Jesus

                Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                It's a sin for ladies to wear pants anytime.

                Doesn't your husband beat you for that?
                You forget I divorced the wife beater.

                The man I am with now treats me with respect and as an equal.
                He likes my jeans.
                John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

                3:36 He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.

                Comment

                • TrueJuggaloMaMa
                  Unsaved trash God-hating feminazi clown
                  Advise pastors of any suspicious activity!
                  • Feb 2010
                  • 165

                  #9
                  Re: Naked Christian Cult Embarrasses Jesus

                  Originally posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
                  Yes, but do you do as God commands and COVER YOUR HAIR when you are in church?!

                  Blogger is a blog publishing tool from Google for easily sharing your thoughts with the world. Blogger makes it simple to post text, photos and video onto your personal or team blog.


                  1 Corinthians 11: 4Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head.
                  5But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven.
                  6For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.
                  7For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.
                  8For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man.
                  9Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

                  No I don't My hair is pinned back modestly.
                  John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

                  3:36 He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.

                  Comment

                  • HellboundGreaser
                    Unsaved trash
                     
                    • Feb 2010
                    • 47

                    #10
                    Re: Naked Christian Cult Embarrasses Jesus

                    Originally posted by TrueJuggaloMaMa View Post
                    You forget I divorced the wife beater.

                    The man I am with now treats me with respect and as an equal.
                    He likes my jeans.
                    Woman equal? It says right in the KJV bible, Ephesians 5:22
                    "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord"
                    . You wear dungarees? I refer you to deuteronomy 22:5
                    "The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God"
                    . If you was my wife, we would definitly have a little discussion
                    Give a man a fish and he can eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he can sit in a boat drinking beer all day while you fool around with his old lady.

                    Comment

                    • BelieverInGod
                      Fourm Member
                      Forum Member
                      • Feb 2010
                      • 9269

                      #11
                      Re: Naked Christian Cult Embarrasses Jesus

                      Originally posted by TrueJuggaloMaMa View Post
                      You forget I divorced the wife beater.

                      The man I am with now treats me with respect and as an equal.
                      He likes my jeans.
                      Matthew 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
                      Mark 10:12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
                      Luke 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
                      Drama queen

                      Comment

                      • TrueJuggaloMaMa
                        Unsaved trash God-hating feminazi clown
                        Advise pastors of any suspicious activity!
                        • Feb 2010
                        • 165

                        #12
                        Re: Naked Christian Cult Embarrasses Jesus

                        Originally posted by BelieverInGod View Post
                        Matthew 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
                        Mark 10:12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
                        Luke 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

                        Yea you keep putting up these verses. I get it I am comitting adultry. At least I am alive. Do you honsetly believe that if a man beats his wife to death she deserved it. No matter what sins the man was commiting at the time.
                        When I meet my maker I will ask for forgivness of my sins and will not deny that I have commited any. It will then be up to him to forgive me or cast me out.

                        Oh to your question before if I'm a man because I considred what he wanted Homosexual sex. Since I have to spell it out for you he wanted to commit sodomy.

                        Thinking you are perfect, and sinless is also a sin.
                        John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

                        3:36 He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.

                        Comment

                        • Professor Bessemer
                          Professor of Creation Science at Landover University
                          Certified Ex-Gay Program Graduate
                          Darwin's Worst Nightmare
                          True Christian™
                          • May 2009
                          • 2952

                          #13
                          Re: Naked Christian Cult Embarrasses Jesus

                          Originally posted by TrueJuggaloMaMa View Post
                          Oh to your question before if I'm a man because I considred what he wanted Homosexual sex. Since I have to spell it out for you he wanted to commit sodomy.
                          You are still being elusive dear. Sodomy is a fairly broad term.

                          Originally posted by Dictionary.com
                          sodomy sod·om·y (sŏd'ə-mē)n.

                          1. Anal copulation of one male with another.

                          2. Anal or oral copulation with a member of the opposite sex.

                          3. Copulation with an animal.
                          So, did this Insane Clown Pervert you chose to marry want to have sex with men, animals, or did he wish to place his member in your mouth or your backside?
                          Professor of Creation Science and Flood Geology at Landover Baptist University


                          sigpic

                          Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

                          Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

                          Comment

                          • TrueJuggaloMaMa
                            Unsaved trash God-hating feminazi clown
                            Advise pastors of any suspicious activity!
                            • Feb 2010
                            • 165

                            #14
                            Re: Naked Christian Cult Embarrasses Jesus

                            Originally posted by HellboundGreaser View Post
                            Woman equal? It says right in the KJV bible, Ephesians 5:22 . You wear dungarees? I refer you to deuteronomy 22:5 . If you was my wife, we would definitly have a little discussion
                            Well thank god I am not your wife.

                            Dear TrueJuggaloMaMa,

                            You have received an infraction at The Landover Baptist Church Forums.

                            Reason: Attempting to force the homersexural lifestyle on GOD's favorite forum
                            -------
                            We will NOT tolerate you trying to turn men into sissy sodomites!

                            I am not turning men into sodomites it was a joke. Uptight are we.
                            John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

                            3:36 He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.

                            Comment

                            • TrueJuggaloMaMa
                              Unsaved trash God-hating feminazi clown
                              Advise pastors of any suspicious activity!
                              • Feb 2010
                              • 165

                              #15
                              Re: Naked Christian Cult Embarrasses Jesus

                              Originally posted by Professor Bessemer View Post
                              You are still being elusive dear. Sodomy is a fairly broad term.



                              So, did this Insane Clown Pervert you chose to marry want to have sex with men, animals, or did he wish to place his member in your mouth or your backside?
                              since I have to spell it out for you the latter. God really you guys didn't get that.

                              BTW he is NOT a Juggalo, He is Catholic. And no I am not cCatholic. Cantrary to what they say I did not convert as I was told I was suppossed to do.
                              John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

                              3:36 He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.

                              Comment

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