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  • Seeker
    Thank you Pastor Pistle!
    Forum Member
    • Aug 2007
    • 966

    #226
    Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

    Originally posted by Brother Guy View Post
    I'd just like to take this opportunity to claim a worthy victory for Jesus. You may have noticed that the two false Christians, Ghost and the other one, are exhibiting wonderful grammar and spelling, and have written clear and concise posts, very coherent and readable in the utmost.
    Obviously I can't take all the credit for this, but I'd like to use this as an example of how Landover Baptist Forums has resulted in their use of English improving remarkably since they first appeared as "enemyofyoupeople" ( I think that name should be changed to "enemyofliteracy" but it's not necessary now - but I digress).
    Please Join with me now in giving thanks to JESUS for allowing us into their lives and improving them, even just a little bit, for the GLORY of God.
    Well done Landoverians - its obvious Jesus is working through us to improve their miserable little lives.
    So I was wondering if you feel your 'calling' at LBC is to be the godly spiritual grammar police that you love to be. Do you think that can save a person from hell?

    Eh, I figure Jesus would have more mercy than you when it comes to spelling. After all he can intepret it just like you do. You live in Aussie land or the UK. Your colors *not colours can make it harder to even read and your not so split paragraphs. Just saying.........

    Please go off now....waiting for you're godly anger to show.

    If the Lord leads you to it, he will get you through it.

    Comment

    • Pastor Al E Pistle
      Christ's Cōnsiliārius
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 9323

      #227
      Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

      Originally posted by Father Thomas Martin View Post
      Well, you say something's only a truth of faith if it's in the Bible, so I'm asking you to either prove your point or concede to the contrary.
      Shut up, Marty. the Catholic church just finished tearing the entire book of GENESIS out of the Bible and pissing down JESUS' back!

      Next you will be admitting that your TRUE MASTER IS SATAN! GET THEE HENCE, DENIER OF JESUS!
      Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
      "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
      Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


      Comment

      • Brother Guy Bayard
        Anvil of the Antipodes
        True Christian™
        • Jul 2007
        • 1271

        #228
        Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

        Originally posted by Seeker View Post
        So I was wondering if you feel your 'calling' at LBC is to be the godly spiritual grammar police that you love to be. Do you think that can save a person from hell?

        Eh, I figure Jesus would have more mercy than you when it comes to spelling. After all he can intepret it just like you do. You live in Aussie land or the UK. Your colors *not colours can make it harder to even read and your not so split paragraphs. Just saying.........

        Please go off now....waiting for you're godly anger to show.

        Don't nitpick.
        The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine."
        Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL

        Comment

        • Pastor Al E Pistle
          Christ's Cōnsiliārius
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 9323

          #229
          Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

          Originally posted by Brother Guy View Post
          Don't nitpick.
          She's a woman....all questions answered now?
          Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
          "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
          Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


          Comment

          • Brother Guy Bayard
            Anvil of the Antipodes
            True Christian™
            • Jul 2007
            • 1271

            #230
            Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

            Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
            She's a woman....all questions answered now?
            No wonder they are afflicted with the curse of Eve. They deserve it.
            The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine."
            Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL

            Comment

            • Seeker
              Thank you Pastor Pistle!
              Forum Member
              • Aug 2007
              • 966

              #231
              Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

              Originally posted by Brother Guy View Post
              Don't nitpick.
              You stop and I will. That is one thing I have against you....bro. I am confessing so you have to forgive and listen. It is biblical...

              You can't be a godly grammar arsh all the time or you will run people away.

              I am sure that the kids in Africa would want to join also. Are you going to take them through the ABC's or Mathew, Mark, Luke, and, John? Just what I thought...

              Be a true Christian and BTW your face does scare me...

              If the Lord leads you to it, he will get you through it.

              Comment

              • Brother Guy Bayard
                Anvil of the Antipodes
                True Christian™
                • Jul 2007
                • 1271

                #232
                Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

                Originally posted by Seeker View Post
                You stop and I will. That is one thing I have against you....bro. I am confessing so you have to forgive and listen. It is biblical...

                You can't be a godly grammar arsh all the time or you will run people away.

                I am sure that the kids in Africa would want to join also. Are you going to take them through the ABC's or Mathew, Mark, Luke, and, John? Just what I thought...

                Be a true Christian and BTW your face does scare me...

                I don't believe its Godly for a female 'Member' to attempt to reprimand a True Christian.
                The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine."
                Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL

                Comment

                • Seeker
                  Thank you Pastor Pistle!
                  Forum Member
                  • Aug 2007
                  • 966

                  #233
                  Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

                  I thought Esther did or I could be wrong... Anywho...

                  If the Lord leads you to it, he will get you through it.

                  Comment

                  • Goats
                    Unsaved trash
                    • Oct 2007
                    • 74

                    #234
                    Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

                    Seeker is correct here. You should all listen to her more than you do now. And I haven't seen a response to Father Martin's reply yet:

                    1 Kings 19:11-13a:

                    Then the LORD said, "Go outside and stand on the mountain before the LORD; the LORD will be passing by." A strong and heavy wind was rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the LORD--but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake--but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake there was fire--but the LORD was not in the fire. After the fire there was a tiny whispering sound, and it was the Lord.
                    God IS the Salvation. We are his messengers, NOT his workers. We bring people TO HIM. Don't you people see that I am a retarded?

                    Comment

                    • Brother Guy Bayard
                      Anvil of the Antipodes
                      True Christian™
                      • Jul 2007
                      • 1271

                      #235
                      Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

                      Thats more than enough. I can't abide Unsaved trash dictating to True Christians.
                      Any more outrageous orders like the last one and a Pastor will take action, swiftly and without mercy, like a sword wielded by Jesus himself. You have been warned.
                      The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine."
                      Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL

                      Comment

                      • SalvationSeeker
                        True Christian™ Theologian
                        Forum Member
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 3892

                        #236
                        Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

                        Originally posted by Goats
                        Seeker is correct here. You should all listen to her more than you do now.
                        And once again you directly oppose the Bible.. Yeah, what a great Christian you are.
                        But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
                        1 Timothy 2:12

                        Now, we all love Seeker in True Christian love here, but she's a woman, so she should know her place.
                        I'm a little concerned for her, frankly. It seems her husband is WAY too sissy on these thing.
                        It is too bad she is married as I'm looking for a wife myself and she would probably have made a fine canidate:
                        I would have given her the disciplining she so well deserves.

                        Originally posted by Father Thomas Martin View Post
                        1 Kings 19:11-13a:

                        Then the LORD said, "Go outside and stand on the mountain before the LORD; the LORD will be passing by." A strong and heavy wind was rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the LORD--but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake--but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake there was fire--but the LORD was not in the fire. After the fire there was a tiny whispering sound, and it was the Lord.
                        No, a STILL SMALL VOICE. Not a whisper, nor a "whispering sound".
                        And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire:
                        And after the fire a still small voice.
                        1 Kings 19:12

                        This is why you must use the KJV, and not some satanic mumbo-jumbo spewed out by the vatican..
                        You'll get a corrupted message if you listen to the NIV.
                        BTW The company that distributes the NIV also distributes books about gay sex..
                        While the KJV is the ONLY Bible that is not owned by any man.
                        Coincidence? Hardly.

                        And are you saying that since God for once, spoke calmly (still small voice would indicate a calm voice, not a "whispering sound".) you reject every other instance where He spoke as He usually does, thundering?

                        Though, I guess that's the cathylick way:
                        Pick a verse you like, and ignore all the others.
                        This verse doesn't say that God whisper.
                        So you got no case, as usual, I might add.
                        If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
                        A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
                        Proverbs 9:12-13

                        Comment

                        • Brother Temperance
                          Senior Usher
                          True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                          A very nice young man
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 15621

                          #237
                          Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

                          Originally posted by Goats View Post
                          Everything in this world has a soul. That is my point. We should love everything and care for everything, because it has a soul.
                          You think rocks have souls? It's like Star-Finder mark II.
                          God talks in many ways, he talks to me through miracles. I have seen a disabled boy get up and walk before.
                          Reminds me of this one time I tried faith healing a retarded. It didn't work, but it sure looked funny squirming around on the floor when I commanded it to get up and walk and then pushed its chair over.
                          Originally posted by Goats View Post
                          Jesus' death was required. No other deaths are.
                          Stuff and nonsense. What about the Muslims? You can hardly claim their deaths aren't required.
                          Originally posted by Goats View Post
                          I'm afraid your mother is unavailable for me to talk to right now. I'll try later (just thought I'd result to what you do here).
                          What are you jabbering about now? Brother Wash hasn't even posted in this thread!
                          I am more Christian than you could ever be. All you do is quote scriptures from the KJV which to my knowledge, is translated from Hebrew anyway!
                          And all you do is insult God's Word and yammer on about your own personal opinion!

                          Originally posted by Goats View Post
                          That's frightening Pastor. I hear whispers of warmth and kindness in my ears.
                          That's not God, that's "Father" Thomas Martin.
                          Originally posted by Goats View Post
                          I believe in the bible, just not the KJV. Please Pastor, I am young and tired.
                          If you've had "Father" Thomas whispering sweet nothings in your ears, that's understandable.
                          I retire tonight. I shall return tommorow with re-newed strength. Goodnishgt everyone.
                          Nisght? Are you a negro or something?
                          O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                          God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                          Comment

                          • Goats
                            Unsaved trash
                            • Oct 2007
                            • 74

                            #238
                            Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

                            You always say things such as 'You only listen to the verses you want to hear, the good and happy ones.' And yet all you ever do is quote the harsh and horrible ones. Ones to do with going to hell, never going to heaven.
                            God IS the Salvation. We are his messengers, NOT his workers. We bring people TO HIM. Don't you people see that I am a retarded?

                            Comment

                            • SalvationSeeker
                              True Christian™ Theologian
                              Forum Member
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 3892

                              #239
                              Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

                              Originally posted by Goats View Post
                              You always say things such as 'You only listen to the verses you want to hear, the good and happy ones.' And yet all you ever do is quote the harsh and horrible ones. Ones to do with going to hell, never going to heaven.
                              No, we don't.
                              But that's the only verses that are relevant in your case, thus the only ones we quote at you.
                              Also, there are no verses that speak good of your kind..

                              Cause there is nothing in the Bible that supports discarding the Bible and following your own head or heart.
                              It's easier to go to hell than to go to Heaven, and that's why there are more verses like that in the Bible.
                              Because people need to heed it's warnings of hell.

                              But you're a fool who'd rather hear a pretty lie than the truth.
                              You care more about feelings, yours and others, than truth.
                              You care more about feelings, yours and others, than where they're going to spend eternity.
                              In short: You're but an uncaring, egoistic & vain brat, and make no mistake about it - You're currently hellbound.


                              PS.
                              There are no verses that's bad or "horrible" in the Bible, they are all good.
                              If God says it, I'm not going to judge Him and say His decision (such as to slaughter all the Amalekites) is evil.
                              God is the judge, we are but humans.
                              If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
                              A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
                              Proverbs 9:12-13

                              Comment

                              • Goats
                                Unsaved trash
                                • Oct 2007
                                • 74

                                #240
                                Re: Retards are the Devil's Children

                                'In short: You're but an uncaring, egoistic & vain brat, and make no mistake about it - You're currently hellbound.'

                                So, to save me, you insult me. It wont work like that.
                                God IS the Salvation. We are his messengers, NOT his workers. We bring people TO HIM. Don't you people see that I am a retarded?

                                Comment

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