[Sister Noddy]

Re: I know bout Mormings 'n Josephy-Hos, but...

You know what else makes Jesus happy? Do you know what tithing is? Does your mommy give you an allowance?

All the better to spend your allowance on Jeevus, instead of gummy bears, which rot your teeth, little Five Year ...

[Brother Lindh]

Re: I know bout Mormings 'n Josephy-Hos, but...

Dear vile terrorist;

I am a Masculine True Christian™ White Male Pastor in his 20's. I am not sexually attractive to you. Your type only fornicates with preteen girls (the younger the better), camels and goats. Just like your false prophet Moohamad (piss be upon him).

If you'd like to go a few rounds with me one-on-one, why I'd be more than happy to put you out of your misery. You and your hellbound diaperheads. If it weren't for the fact that the DOF has ordered me to stay put and continue doing God's Work, I'd be over there in Islamistan going Jack Bauer on your ass right now. Praise Jesus.

Ahhh, Praise Allah! Our camel drivers would welcome such a strapping masculine figure, comtemplating it as we speak, working their jihoodis. We would, after finishing with you, fit you for a semtex vestment, and off you go!

Did you know that Sister Nohdi is considering joining our tent? Yes! Dancing for the camel drivers.

Praise Allah!

[Five Year Old Girl]

Re: I know bout Mormings 'n Josephy-Hos, but...

I'm sorry ever'body; I din't mean ta' be a badness. All I gots fer Tiving iza life saber ana penny. (Sniff!) Heow, Jeevus can have it.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: I know bout Mormings 'n Josephy-Hos, but...

In Days of the Prophet (PBUH) such a female of five years of the age would have been hamood to harmony by 72 of the best camel herders. Perhaps also Pastor Ezee Keel would benefit from the attention of 72 of the best camel herders. We invite him to Afghani.

Praise Allah!

Listen to me, you falafel-stealing black dog! I was through their last week, and have never been so disgusted by grown men wearing dresses squatting in the streets to defecate, wiping with their hand, and then using the same hand to slick down the filthy hair under their head-diapers. I must have shot about 200 of them in addition to whatever my hunting guide and the Blackwater security team shot.

We had so mush fun watching the bodies burst open that we are going to make it a tour. You get off a cruise ship in Egypt, shoot your way down the Nile, take an armored caravan through Jordan and hunt armed insurgents in Iraq from the comfort of air conditioned motor coaches with firing ports.

Look out Jamal, I'll be after you in a heartbeat!