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  • Nobar King
    Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
    Christ's Guardian
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2007
    • 23748
    #1

    Yoga is Satanic!

    I wrote out some index cards and posted them provocatively inside some of the local news-boxes that promote yoga and meditation:

    I don't even know what God Yoda worships, but I'm pretty sure it's not Jesus.
    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
    Tags: hindus and their monkey gods, satanism, yoga
    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78552
      #2
      Re: Yoga is Satanic!

      Amen brother! And don't fall for that "Christian Yoga" nonsense either! Yoga is an invitation to satan!
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • Petal
          LBC psychiatric outpatient. Progressing nicely.
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 991
          #3
          Re: Yoga is Satanic!

          yoga be so satanick, Mr.Nobar! here be a yoga man, an he be so evils that he make devil horns wiv his hole entire body, not just wiv his hands, like how other folks do

            Comment

            • Lisa H
              Proud to be Blonde, Beautiful, and Baptist
              True Christian™
              • Jun 2010
              • 5070
              #4
              Re: Yoga is Satanic!

              I know something was wrong with Yoga. Only someone possessed could make their body do those strange things
              Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
              Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
              Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
              Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
              Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
              Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.

                Comment

                • Billy Bob Jenkins
                  Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
                  About as Straight and Manly as you can get
                  Hates anal sex. And trees.
                  True Christian™
                  • May 2010
                  • 8337
                  #5
                  Re: Yoga is Satanic!

                  Originally posted by Lisa H View Post
                  I know something was wrong with Yoga. Only someone possessed could make their body do those strange things
                  I hear one of the exercises is to make your head spin all the way around!
                  The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                    Comment

                    • Jo Freddie
                      Unsaved trash
                      Hateful God mocking pirate
                      • Apr 2009
                      • 6339
                      #6
                      Re: Yoga is Satanic!

                      I see that the Muslims are in agreement with you on this one.
                      Posted via Pasta

                      True Pastafarian™

                      May my Sauce be with you!
                      Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
                      Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
                      The Loose Canon - HTML version
                      Loose Canon Fan Page
                      North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
                      I have been to The Volcano!

                        Comment

                        • waywardJim
                          Unsaved trash, tree-hugging atheist hippie scum
                          • Jul 2010
                          • 124
                          #7
                          Re: Yoga is Satanic!

                          I agree, yoga is evil.
                          Fat people please stop eating so much. I'm getting tired of looking at you.

                            Comment

                            • Mark Christ
                              Forum Member
                              Forum Member
                              • Jun 2010
                              • 84
                              #8
                              Re: Yoga is Satanic!

                              Of course yoga is evil. It was invented by the dothead Hindoos for their satanic rituals.
                              [Please excuse the horrible following image]
                              Look at these heathens. Yoga is also a favorite pastime of the homers.


                              And I can only image that this vile sinners hand's are red because he had them in places unmentionable.

                              Deuteronomy 7:26 Neither shalt thou bring an abomination into thine house, lest thou be a cursed thing like it: but thou shalt utterly detest it, and thou shalt utterly abhor it; for it is a cursed thing.

                                Comment

                                • Oakland "Reb" Griner
                                  True Christian™
                                  True Christian™
                                  • Jun 2009
                                  • 2241
                                  #9
                                  Re: Yoga is Satanic!

                                  Here is another yogurt dothead.

                                  You can just feel the evil (and germs!) oozing from his pores!
                                  Attached Files
                                  Jud 1:15 To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are unGodly among them of all their unGodly deeds which they have unGodly committed, and of all their hard [speeches] which unGodly sinners have spoken against him.

                                    Comment

                                    • Seraphiel
                                      Unsaved trash
                                      Under Investigation
                                      • Jul 2010
                                      • 10
                                      #10
                                      Re: Yoga is Satanic!

                                      Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
                                      I hear one of the exercises is to make your head spin all the way around!
                                      I have nothing to say to you .. wtf is wrong with you. Go out more. See what the world has to offer.
                                      Jesus died for our sins. Ask for forgiveness & you won't go to Hell. Simple as that. /end of discussion.

                                        Comment

                                        • Jo Freddie
                                          Unsaved trash
                                          Hateful God mocking pirate
                                          • Apr 2009
                                          • 6339
                                          #11
                                          Re: Yoga is Satanic!

                                          Originally posted by Seraphiel View Post
                                          I have nothing to say to you .. wtf is wrong with you. Go out more. See what the world has to offer.
                                          Don't tell him to that, the world is very happy with him staying just where his, out of the way.
                                          Posted via Pasta

                                          True Pastafarian™

                                          May my Sauce be with you!
                                          Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
                                          Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
                                          The Loose Canon - HTML version
                                          Loose Canon Fan Page
                                          North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
                                          I have been to The Volcano!

                                            Comment

                                            • waywardJim
                                              Unsaved trash, tree-hugging atheist hippie scum
                                              • Jul 2010
                                              • 124
                                              #12
                                              Re: Yoga is Satanic!

                                              Originally posted by Jo Freddie View Post
                                              Don't tell him to that, the world is very happy with him staying just where his, out of the way.
                                              AHHHH,,,,,,hahahahaha,,,,,,
                                              Fat people please stop eating so much. I'm getting tired of looking at you.

                                                Comment

                                                • Pastor Ezekiel
                                                  Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                                   
                                                  • Sep 2006
                                                  • 78552
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: Yoga is Satanic!

                                                  Originally posted by waywardJim View Post
                                                  AHHHH,,,,,,hahahahaha,,,,,,
                                                  Hugging trees is satanic too. You won't be laughing when you're gargling scalding hot spunk down in hell.
                                                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                                    Comment

                                                    • BelieverInGod
                                                      Fourm Member
                                                      Forum Member
                                                      • Feb 2010
                                                      • 9269
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: Yoga is Satanic!

                                                      Originally posted by Oakland "Reb" Griner View Post
                                                      Here is another yogurt dothead.

                                                      You can just feel the evil (and germs!) oozing from his pores!
                                                      Wow, if that man isn't possessed, I don't know what is. Just look at his eyes.
                                                      Drama queen

                                                        Comment

                                                        • The Disciple
                                                          Forum Member
                                                          Forum Member
                                                          • Jul 2010
                                                          • 74
                                                          #15
                                                          Re: Yoga is Satanic!

                                                          WHY !!!!!

                                                          Exod.22

                                                          " 1. [17] If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins."

                                                            Comment

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