[Jo Freddie]

Re: Is there a hell?

Now, repent and get down on your knees before Jesus™! Accept your own worthlessness and homosexuality! Turn around before what's left of you is reduced to an eternity of your already used and decrepit remains of an an anus taking the full might of Satan's unholy phallus!

Yet again you show your preoccupation with things that are of no concern of yours.

The Random Number of Not Commandments, Suggestions:

3. Judge not, for verily it be not thine job neither most likely to be thine business.

8. Thou shalt not feel guilty for feeling good.

The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn't's"

4. I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is "go f*** yourself," unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.

8. I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/vaseline. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.

The Book of Piraticus
Chapter 3

1 And he shall make the analogy that just as two completely different alcoholic beverages are equal, all people are equal.
2 Yes, I know it's kind of a leap, but trust me, I'm the FSM.
3 I love all people equally, so no holy wars or gay bashing or anything like that.
4 There's no reason for any of that.

Pastalm XII

7 I'd also like to officiate over gay unions. Lots and lots of gay unions.
8 I feel that the FSM would appreciate this, since It has a lot of noodly appendages and would want us mere humans created in It's image with noodly appendages to get together and attempt to procreate.
9 I'm also cool with lesbian weddings because the FSM also respects those created with more meatball-like attachments.
10 And if the meatballs and noodles want to get together, it's all good because the FSM is cool about that.
11 Unlike some imaginary deities who are such prudes they don't even have sex with women to get kids, the FSM has the meatballs and noodles all coming together out in the open in a free expression of high-carb goodness.

And as I keep pointing out, there is no burning lakes of fire type Hell

Just how many times am I going to have to explain this to you all?

An Announcement Regarding the Afterlife

2 It is my contention that a loving God of any kind would not Damn someone to Hell.
3 Darning them to Heck would be a problem for a supposedly intelligent creator.

22 Not a real burning-in type hell, no boiling lakes of fire, just an appropriate 'reward'.
23 No more lunatics and sadists, please.
24 The current administration's quite enough.
25 Other people have other ideas, but then again other people are promoting Holy War, too.
26 Don't do that in the name of our FSM.
27 That's not the Way to Do Things Right.

Muellers I
a letter to the Macaronians

48 The Flying Spaghetti Monster who is Our Lord did not create us that we might simply then be condemned for failing to believe in Him.
49 What kind of crazy scheme is that;
50 to bestow his Creatures with life, then to throw that life he bestowed into eternal torment?
51 That is the way of evil deities, not good ones.
52 Our One Who Flies and is Saucy understands that life among beings with free will, on a planet with natural systems that cause tumult, and Scientifically Intelligently Designed by a deity who is prankish and can be peevish, should not end in eternal misery.
53 That‟s insane.
54 What kind of fool would believe such a being worthy of worship?

[Colbert Mcpherson]

Re: Is there a hell?

As you are resorting to corrupting what I have said, I'll count that as a victory for true Christianity™ over pastaphilia.

Now, repent and get down on your knees before Jesus™! Accept your own worthlessness and homosexuality! Turn around before what's left of you is reduced to an eternity of your already used and decrepit remains of an an anus taking the full might of Satan's unholy phallus!

Repent, and be Saved©! Who knows, even with your long running record of sexual misconduct, there may well be a chance!

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Is there a hell?

Just why on earth do you even bother trying to spread the truth over our forums? Before you answer about trying to convert us, remember you are talking to spiritually adrift castaways. Help us find The FSM quickly you fine upstanding person.

There I fixed it for you

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Is there a hell?

Indeed! What are we JOHOs here?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Is there a hell?

well Lisa H
I think youve kinda gotten that bible verse a little wrong

Psalm 9:17 The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.

it goes more like this:
The wicked return to the grave, all the nations that forget God.

i just thought that it is kind of a big difference

Psalm 9:17 The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.

The pervert is right. KJV only, Lisa!

[Sexual deviant]

Re: Is there a hell?

well Lisa H
I think youve kinda gotten that bible verse a little wrong

Psalm 9:17 The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.

it goes more like this:
The wicked return to the grave, all the nations that forget God.

i just thought that it is kind of a big difference

[Colbert Mcpherson]

Re: Is there a hell?

Just why on earth do you even bother excreting this vile pus over our forums? Before you answer about trying to convert us, remember you are talking to your spiritual superiors. Find Jesus™ quick you abhorrent baby rapist.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Is there a hell?

You'll believe in it when the devil is nine cubits up your rear with his barbed, bloated, purple tallywacker. He will stretch your anus until it is as big as the broad side of a barn.

Yet again with the anal fixation

Just how many times am I going to have to explain this to you all?

An Announcement Regarding the Afterlife

2 It is my contention that a loving God of any kind would not Damn someone to Hell.
3 Darning them to Heck would be a problem for a supposedly intelligent creator.

22 Not a real burning-in type hell, no boiling lakes of fire, just an appropriate 'reward'.
23 No more lunatics and sadists, please.
24 The current administration's quite enough.
25 Other people have other ideas, but then again other people are promoting Holy War, too.
26 Don't do that in the name of our FSM.
27 That's not the Way to Do Things Right.

Muellers I
a letter to the Macaronians

48 The Flying Spaghetti Monster who is Our Lord did not create us that we might simply then be condemned for failing to believe in Him.
49 What kind of crazy scheme is that;
50 to bestow his Creatures with life, then to throw that life he bestowed into eternal torment?
51 That is the way of evil deities, not good ones.
52 Our One Who Flies and is Saucy understands that life among beings with free will, on a planet with natural systems that cause tumult, and Scientifically Intelligently Designed by a deity who is prankish and can be peevish, should not end in eternal misery.
53 That‟s insane.
54 What kind of fool would believe such a being worthy of worship?

As for the question "What kind of fool would believe such a being worthy of worship?"

We have a winner, Billy Bob Jenkins, come on down!

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Is there a hell?

I am not the one who believes in a mythical Hell where people get their bottoms molested, but it does seem to be an idea that you are very interested in.

You'll believe in it when the devil is nine cubits up your rear with his barbed, bloated, purple tallywacker. He will stretch your anus until it is as big as the broad side of a barn.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Is there a hell?

I don't. You're the one who wants to go to Hell where you will be perpetually raped in the bottom for all eternity. I think it is you who has the anal fixation.

I am not the one who believes in a mythical Hell where people get their bottoms molested, but it does seem to be an idea that you are very interested in.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Is there a hell?

Why do you have such a fixation with peoples bottoms?

I don't. You're the one who wants to go to Hell where you will be perpetually raped in the bottom for all eternity. I think it is you who has the anal fixation.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Is there a hell?

Through the anus.

Why do you have such a fixation with peoples bottoms?

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Is there a hell?

You will like it in hell, eternal hot spaghetti. The devils pitch's fork looks like it would handle large amounts of spaghetti to shove into you.

Through the anus.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Is there a hell?

blah blah blah.
You will like it in hell, eternal hot spaghetti. The devils pitch's fork looks like it would handle large amounts of spaghetti to shove into you.

There goes the drunken stripper again repeating the same old tired line about her non-existent version of hell.

Hell with burning lakes of fire - a construct of false regions to control you
Satan - Ditto
Spaghetti - A food made with the gifts that God gave us to honour him.

[Lisa H]

Re: Is there a hell?

If you had actually read and been able to comprehend the meaning of the post, you would see that the man is a lurker, and not a drunk, who does not speak, description that does not fit me, on the other hand the drunken stripper already matches yourself without any further help from anyone else.

Yet again you show your own perversion by the way you interpret the actions of others.

blah blah blah.
You will like it in hell, eternal hot spaghetti. The devils pitch's fork looks like it would handle large amounts of spaghetti to shove into you.