MOST CHURCHES ARE RUN BY SATAN!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

JESUS warned us that almost everyone would be fooled by SATAN and it is happening as we speak. This FALSE CHRISTIAN "minister" in Alabama is the best example after the cult of Catholicism and the Moon-worshipers of Allah (may piss be upon him).

LOOK AT THIS!

SWEET JESUS IN HEAVEN, THAT IS SICK, SICK, SICK!

FALSE Christians like this who want to have qweer butt-sex with SATAN may get away with it for awhile, but JESUS always smites them in the end!

It's obvious that this 'preacher' was a demon of the DEVIL and has passed on his evil to every member of the congregation. Even a fool knows that if SATAN has been guiding them for many years, they are all doomed.

Only one thing can be done at this point. Every man and boy in that church has to have a colonoscopy immediately to determine whether or not they are ALL warlocks. The women should probably just be rounded up and burned. No use wasting a lot of time interrogating them, if they weren't WITCHES, they wouldn't be participating in this sort of stuff. The BIBLE is VERY clear about what to do when you find 'the accursed thing".

I am positive that a thorough investigation will find several hundred people who need to be stoned to death immediately....TODAY....and there is NO DOUBT that the skid-marks on the Hershey Highway lead STRAIGHT BACK TO LIBERTY UNIVERSITY!

LOOK AT THIS!

JESUS IS BACK TO SMITE EVIL, PRAISE! GET READY TO HELP HIM!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

MOST CHURCHES ARE RUN BY SATAN!

OK Folks, this is exactly the reason we threw the Southern Baptists out of the TRUE CHRISTIAN(TM) church years ago. They all turned into SATANISTS and we caught them at it. Their spin control machine is running at full speed already and the latest story is that Pastor "X" we'll call him out of respect for his wife was preparing to swim to Cuba and convert all the Catlicks.....and that the.....machine....or whatever....he had attached to his colon was either a personal flotation device or something to prevent leeches from attacking him in Cuba.

More details as they are available.

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: MOST CHURCHES ARE RUN BY SATAN!

You could have knocked me over with a gentle breeze when I read this horrific story. I met Pastor Aldridge at a Christian conference in Alabama several years ago and I never would have guessed that he was into sick homosexual fetishes like S&M and bondage. The entire time that I spent with him he was courteous, friendly, generous, and polite-- traits that are commonly not associated with homosexuals. After the conference was over he even invited me to go scuba diving with him, this seemed like a strange proposition to me, seeing as that we were in the middle of Alabama but he explained to me that there was a sewage treatment plant nearby. I've never gone scuba diving before and I'm sure that trying it in a pool of human feces is for experienced scuba divers only so I had to decline, much to his disappointment. He then suggested that I go back to his room and chain him to his bed, I assume that he was afraid of sustaining injuries due to sleep walking, but I was in a rush to get back to Iowa so I again had to decline.

Sometimes, I guess, the warning signs of homosexuality just aren't obvious.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: MOST CHURCHES ARE RUN BY SATAN!

Oh Sweet JESUS!

There is even a song already about his butt plug!

http://headonradionetwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/Pastor_from_Montgomery_128.mp3

Disgusting. We must make sure that we will never be affiliated with Southern Bapstis. This is horrific!

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: MOST CHURCHES ARE RUN BY SATAN!

Oh Sweet JESUS!

There is even a song already about his butt plug!

http://headonradionetwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/Pastor_from_Montgomery_128.mp3

Disgusting. We must make sure that we will never be affiliated with Southern Bapstis. This is horrific!

Sister BTB - pardon my ignorance, but whats a "Did-Lo"?

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: MOST CHURCHES ARE RUN BY SATAN!

Sister BTB - pardon my ignorance, but whats a "Did-Lo"?

I don't know. Let's ask Pastor Al.

What IS a dildo, Sir?

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: MOST CHURCHES ARE RUN BY SATAN!

I don't know. Let's ask Pastor Al.

What IS a dildo, Sir?

You may rest Sister. I have been asking some folks at the lawn bowls club where I usually go for afternoon tea. Apparently a 'dill-do' is a new-fangled type of prosthetic limb. I didn't know the poor man was an amputee. Many of the elderly ladies in my congregation have artificial hips and other 'add-ons'. I'll have to ask them if they know about these dangerous "Dill-dos". It seems odd that I havent been aware of them before now, but this may be because they are some new cheap Chinese invention for the medical market - I'm told they can contain lead paint or other dangerous toxical chemicals too....you certainly wouldnt want to swallow one accidentally.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: MOST CHURCHES ARE RUN BY SATAN!

I don't know. Let's ask Pastor Al.

What IS a dildo, Sir?

Dill dough is what women use to bake dill bread. I have no idea where you got that spelling....it's probably Ebonics or Amish.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: MOST CHURCHES ARE RUN BY SATAN!

Dill dough is what women use to bake dill bread. I have no idea where you got that spelling....it's probably Ebonics or Amish.

I too have been researching the etymology of that particular spelling "dill-do", and believe it has something to do with the Greeks in this case. If the Greeks can't be credited with inventing homerism, they sure engaged in and promoted it extensively (which is why we have so many of those jokes about Rear Admirals in the Greek Navy). They historically were, and to this day, are very fond of Sheep and consume a great deal of Lamb in their diet. One of the spices used in Greek cuisine is dill, and there may have evolved a slang expression "dill-do" loosely meaning to insert something into a cavity (like meat - or Lamb/Sheep) to "spice" it up.

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: MOST CHURCHES ARE RUN BY SATAN!

It just goes to show the enduring wisdom in that old popular saying, "Never trust a Naked Clown or a Southern Baptist in a Wetsuit."

[Brother V]

Re: MOST CHURCHES ARE RUN BY SATAN!

(which is why we have so many of those jokes about Rear Admirals in the Greek Navy).

And their motto of never leaving their fellow sailors behind.

[Poetic Peter]

Re: MOST CHURCHES ARE RUN BY SATAN!

It just goes to show the enduring wisdom in that old popular saying, "Never trust a Naked Clown or a Southern Baptist in a Wetsuit."

I'm a sucker for clowns.

Paul Carlock Jr., the Ill. Pastor of Pinoy orphans,
has this song playing on his latest and last (we hope) souvenir video:

When anyone looks at me
Let them see Jesus.

Let me be a reflection
Of his love and mercy to them.

When they read my life story
Let it bring my Savior Glory...


__________________



A Gooble search shows that Carlock/Klutzo the clown also writes DVD reviews for Amazon.hell
Note the sort of films he likes?

[Sister Noddy]

Re: MOST CHURCHES ARE RUN BY SATAN!

Oh Sweet JESUS!

There is even a song already about his butt plug!

http://headonradionetwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/Pastor_from_Montgomery_128.mp3

Disgusting. We must make sure that we will never be affiliated with Southern Bapstis. This is horrific!

OMG Sister! I have never heard such a cheap and trashy song!

[Poetic Peter]

Re: MOST CHURCHES ARE RUN BY SATAN!

Another Carlock the Warlock Klassic Klutzo

Reviews Written by
A. Paul Carlock, Jr. "filmfanatic" (Illinois)


Possessed will possess you while and after you watch it., December 13, 2006

Possessed is not just another Catholic scandel.
I am not going to spoil the silm by delving into the intracacies of the plot,
but take my word for it, this is a must if you are to understand what innicents
have been subjected to by those sworn to protect and provide for the.

___________________

[Deaner]

Re: MOST CHURCHES ARE RUN BY SATAN!

Sometimes, I guess, the warning signs of homosexuality just aren't obvious.

I know it doesn't look too good for the Reverend; but I have my suspicions. Here's a quote from the story about how he was found...

...wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask

I don't know about you, and I have no idea what was going on, but that's very similiar to how our Pastor's dress when they have to witness to homers. If he was planning on having homer sex he'd most likely been wearing something like a ballerina outfit.