Jesus & the spaghetti guy

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Jesus & the spaghetti guy

Somehow your truth seems all wrong.

Beer? Wenches? Next you'll be saying there is no hell. This is everything that causes corruption in the world. People need to fear consequences else they feel like they can do as they please when ever they please.

Read more of the truth that is Pastafaianism, pick up that book again, read The Loose Canon - A Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster as you understand more those fellings of dread will subside. With understanding of Our Lord Noodle will come understanding of Life The Universe and Everything.

[Before The Mast]

Re: Jesus & the spaghetti guy

Somehow your truth seems all wrong.

Beer? Wenches? Next you'll be saying there is no hell. This is everything that causes corruption in the world. People need to fear consequences else they feel like they can do as they please when ever they please.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Jesus & the spaghetti guy

I had lunch today, they were serving meat loaf, and the book was there again. It has a leather binder and a red ribbon. I didn't read it though, some youngsters that work in one of the yards restoring boats were reading it and yelling "Yarrrr!!" and laughing. One asked me if I was a pirate. I was a little indignate as being labeled as such and she explained that I looked like one but without the eye patch. The waitress had a spare eye patch and put it on me and since I do enjoy her company I put up with it.

So I now have an eye patch and a yearning to go read the book. It's just for fun and young lasses keep sidling up to me in recognition so it's not really that bad, right?

You are feeling the call of the TRUTH.

Those night terrors you suffer from are induced by the are your subconscious is trying to get through to you that so much of the tome that the "true christians" love is nothing more then a construct of one group of men to control everyone else.

[Before The Mast]

Re: Jesus & the spaghetti guy

I had lunch today, they were serving meat loaf, and the book was there again. It has a leather binder and a red ribbon. I didn't read it though, some youngsters that work in one of the yards restoring boats were reading it and yelling "Yarrrr!!" and laughing. One asked me if I was a pirate. I was a little indignate as being labeled as such and she explained that I looked like one but without the eye patch. The waitress had a spare eye patch and put it on me and since I do enjoy her company I put up with it.

So I now have an eye patch and a yearning to go read the book. It's just for fun and young lasses keep sidling up to me in recognition so it's not really that bad, right?

[Before The Mast]

Re: Jesus & the spaghetti guy

So I should expect this to be a difficult and strenuous journey as I read the KJV? Nothing in my life has been worth having without hard work, except when I find a good pint of ale at the bar that someone has left in a hurry.

Thank you Paster Manning, I'll try and refrain from such dalliances again and go back to the good book. Perhaps I can find one with larger text.

Why do these texts exist? If The Lord means for me to read his word, why allow such things to lay about? It reminds me of the Chick mini-books found in the heads and laundry areas when at port.

[Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.]

Re: Jesus & the spaghetti guy

Dear Before The Mast,

It was the bible of this spaghetti creature the pirate character here has been speaking on and on about. It was an amusing read, I couldn't put it down. But now I'm confused. As I read the KJV I began to develop night terrors but they disappeared the same day I read the flying meat ball book. I'm afraid to go back to the Aloha Cafe as I know the book lurks there and I will not be strong enough to not read it again.

What you are feeling if you are reading the Holy Bible is the fear of The LORD. The fear of burning for all eternity in the fires of Hell because you are a sinner. It is this fear that will motivate you to stop sinning, repent and choose Jesus Christ our savior to guide your life from now on. This is why the real Holy Bible is a dark and very scary book while the communist flying meat ball book just makes you laugh all the way to Hell. Jesus Christ is the ONLY way to be saved! "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life: no man comes to the Father but by Me." (John 14:6)

Yours in Christ,

Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Jesus & the spaghetti guy

Are you possesed by demons or something?

[Before The Mast]

So while I was reading the KJV at the Seamans Church Institute here in Newport (http://seamensnewport.org/) (they make a tasty omelet), and there was another text on the bookcase next to the old fireplace. I decided to take a look as my eyes were a bit weary and I thought I could use a break of pace. It was the bible of this spaghetti creature the pirate character here has been speaking on and on about.

It was an amusing read, I couldn't put it down. But now I'm confused. As I read the KJV I began to develop night terrors but they disappeared the same day I read the flying meat ball book. I'm afraid to go back to the Aloha Cafe as I know the book lurks there and I will not be strong enough to not read it again.

Can anyone help?