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  • godlover132
    Unsaved trash
    • Oct 2010
    • 2
    #1

    My theory about god

    I personally believe recently that god would particularly enjoy masturbation if it was directed towards him and his love. I love God; i have found him many times in my life and have loved with all my heart. God has been my center of life ever since i discovered the baptist church at the age of 10. ( I even wanted to become a priest! )

    Please reply ASAP, i would love to see your views! :-)
    Tags: None
    • Rev. M. Rodimer
      Honorary True Christian™
      Forum Member
      • May 2008
      • 13996
      #2
      Re: My theory about god

      Originally posted by godlover132 View Post
      I personally believe recently that god would particularly enjoy masturbation if it was directed towards him and his love. I love God; i have found him many times in my life and have loved with all my heart. God has been my center of life ever since i discovered the baptist church at the age of 10. ( I even wanted to become a priest! )

      Please reply ASAP, i would love to see your views! :-)
      Baptists don't have priests, Catholic boy.

      Please show us where the Bible condones masturbation.

      While you are thinking on that, trot on over to the Introduction Forum and provide a proper introduction. You know, the way the thread for newbies directs you to do.

      Thanks!
      Bible boring? Nonsense!
      Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
      You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

        Comment

        • WinnerNotSinner
          Friendliest Fellow in all of Freehold
          True Christian™
          • Jun 2010
          • 951
          #3
          Re: My theory about god

          Originally posted by godlover132 View Post
          I personally believe recently that god would particularly enjoy masturbation if it was directed towards him and his love. I love God; i have found him many times in my life and have loved with all my heart. God has been my center of life ever since i discovered the baptist church at the age of 10. ( I even wanted to become a priest! )

          Please reply ASAP, i would love to see your views! :-)
          GOD says He doesn't want us to waste our seed, so unless you have scripture saying otherwise then you are mistaken and masturbation is certainly wrong. The only exception is the Jacking Off For Jesus program, which works because the seed is collected in buckets for later.
          6
          A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
          "But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"

          Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
          If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.

          GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.

            Comment

            • Phebe Carlyle
              GALS 4 GOD Guidance Counseler
              Expert at baking, sewing, and rebuking unsaved scum
              True Christian™
              • May 2010
              • 2604
              #4
              Re: My theory about god

              Originally posted by godlover132 View Post
              I personally believe recently that god would particularly enjoy masturbation if it was directed towards him and his love. I love God; i have found him many times in my life and have loved with all my heart. God has been my center of life ever since i discovered the baptist church at the age of 10. ( I even wanted to become a priest! )

              Please reply ASAP, i would love to see your views! :-)
              Your personal opinion means nothing to God.

              You obviously are confusing Baptists with ring-kissing papist scum. There are no PRIESTS in The Baptist Church.

              YIC

              Mrs Phebe Dewitt.




              There's Jesus here,
              Just see what He offers me....
              Down here my sins forgiven,
              Up there a home in heaven
              Praise God, That's the way for me!!

                Comment

                • godlover132
                  Unsaved trash
                  • Oct 2010
                  • 2
                  #5
                  Re: My theory about god

                  I've been mislead; i've been thinking about catholics recently. I saw that poll on how catholics are scum and i totally agree.
                  I meant REVEREND

                    Comment

                    • Rev. M. Rodimer
                      Honorary True Christian™
                      Forum Member
                      • May 2008
                      • 13996
                      #6
                      Re: My theory about god

                      Originally posted by godlover132 View Post
                      I've been mislead; i've been thinking about catholics recently. I saw that poll on how catholics are scum and i totally agree.
                      I meant REVEREND
                      I see. So you're masturbating thinking about Catholics, not God.

                      Yes, that's MUCH better.
                      Bible boring? Nonsense!
                      Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                      You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                        Comment

                        • Billy Bob Jenkins
                          Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
                          About as Straight and Manly as you can get
                          Hates anal sex. And trees.
                          True Christian™
                          • May 2010
                          • 8337
                          #7
                          Re: My theory about god

                          Originally posted by godlover132 View Post
                          I personally believe recently that god would particularly enjoy masturbation if it was directed towards him...
                          God does not want you to masturbate in His direction or in any direction.

                          Masturbating on God is about the most blasphemous thing I can imagine.

                          Since He is in every direction, you would have to masturbate in every direction, including into your own eye.
                          The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                            Comment

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