[The Book of Samuel]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

John 6:19 says, "When they had rowed three or three and a half miles, they saw Jesus approaching the boat, walking on the water; and they were terrified." KJV

Obviouosly a reference to surfing.

I will introduce myself soon. I surf for jesus.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

John 6:19 says, "When they had rowed three or three and a half miles, they saw Jesus approaching the boat, walking on the water; and they were terrified." KJV

Obviouosly a reference to surfing.

I will introduce myself soon. I surf for jesus.

So you equate walking with surfing? Does my congregation surf to their pews every Sunday morning?

Don't blaspheme in here, pal.

[The Book of Samuel]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

maybe they could wake surf to the pews, i am not sure there is a big enough body of water in freehold.

we should meet up and discuss this possibility. there have been great advances in wake surfing to allow even the least mobile followers of jesus to wake surf.

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

Look at these typical surfers. Disgusting. Don't click play if you have a full stomach. My maids have some cleaning to do now.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[The Book of Samuel]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

those fags are surfers for satan! my baptist parish of surfers reason for existence is to stamp out surfers like them! they are the catholics of surfing. disgusting.

fenster burnham would agree.

[Nobar King]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

Why do you think this band chose their name: B-tt h-le Surfers

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

Here is something they will NEVER SEE.



AMEN Brother Nobar. Satan is a butthole surfer!

These Hellbound Surfertrash will soon find out won't they!

I'd like to see them riding a wave of scolding hot lava in HELL!!!!! Baa haaa haaaaa!

[Brother McGregor]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

You know I had almost forgot about a pastor I knew whilst in school...he was very much into surfing and had the unfortunate name of Willy Chaud. He went off to Hawaii one summer back in 94 and got himself tangled in a big wave that hurled him at some coral and scattered his brain so much that he still remains in hospital (just outside of London)for folks who do not make much sense and are apt to wee themselves.

Now reflecting back on it...I can surely see this was God's plan. "Do not mock My powerful wavey things" might have been the words God uttered before He struck ol Chaud down.

Makes one really think.

This is how I think he met his fate....not a photograph or anything...

[JennyD]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

those fags are surfers for satan! my baptist parish of surfers reason for existence is to stamp out surfers like them! they are the catholics of surfing. disgusting.

fester burnham would agree.

Mr. Book, do you believe that associating yourself with that Level 5 Saucer-Licking Pansy, "Uncle" Fester Burnham, who has abandoned his niece to Satan without so much as trying to save her, would impress us OR the Lord?

Do you think this gives you credibility? Credibility such as Fester has, who lied about being a minister when he first joined? Fester, who is so weak in his walk with Jesus that he abandons his family to Satan because it is inconvenient to care?

Mr. Book, you have your wish. You are just as credible as Fester.

[Sionisx2]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

There's nothing wrong with surfing, if that's what you like to do for a pastime, then go on ahead and knock yourself out (not literally, even though those waves can be hectic).

[Uri Tardehd]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

God's grace is abundantly clear in this undoctored photo of a surfer on one of God's BIG wavey things:



I doubt there are any atheists at that point of the ride, even if they are Lutheranians.

[Uri Tardehd]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

Would it be possible to modify surfboards to do this? Fit them with sensors so that at a certain point, giant "nutcracker" arms would spring out of the surfboard and snap shut at the correct height above it?

Brother Temperance,

If the wave is big enough, and it is God's will, the fins on a surfingboard (Sister Mary maria note the lack of 'ou') are more than enough to transform one into a eunuch should one fall down and be caught in aforementioned wave.

I daresay the closest Jesus ever got to surfing was with his disciples on a lake as described in Matthew 8:23-27.

[Repenter]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

Surfing is clearly of the devil, and it appears he patrols the oceans himself.

[Uri Tardehd]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

I would not fear Satan in the oceans (or anywhere else) with the Lord Jesus Christ as my Saviour. PRAISE!

Matthew 8:27: The men were amazed and asked, "What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!"

GLORY!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

You know I had almost forgot about a pastor I knew whilst in school...he was very much into surfing and had the unfortunate name of Willy Chaud. He went off to Hawaii one summer back in 94 and got himself tangled in a big wave that hurled him at some coral and scattered his brain so much that he still remains in hospital (just outside of London)for folks who do not make much sense and are apt to wee themselves.

Wow, I never knew there was a special hospital for Scotsmen.