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  • Nobar King
    Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
    Christ's Guardian
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2007
    • 23748

    #16
    Re: I'm Asgard's Own and Asgard's Finest, baby...

    sigh...
    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

    Comment

    • JennyD
      Honorary True Christian™
      Sweet Placid Sister
      Forum Member
      • Dec 2007
      • 9567

      #17
      Re: I'm Asgard's Own and Asgard's Finest, baby...

      Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
      sigh...
      Er, would you LIKE us to bitchslap you down to Hell?
      www.palibandaily.com - Your Christian News Source
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      Comment

      • Deaner
        Christ's Love Messenger
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 5932

        #18
        Re: I'm Asgard's Own and Asgard's Finest, baby...

        Originally posted by Assgard's Own View Post
        We're considered one of the major religions of Scandinavia
        Well yeah, Scandinavia is certainly one of the countries I'd use if I wanted to give my story some credibility.

        Friend, you could drop all of Scandinavia into the United States and the American citizens would think it's just another ghetto of jabbering immigrants. Nobody would even notice.

        Comment

        • Justina Thyme
          Exposing DEMONS for Jesus
          True Christian™
          • Dec 2007
          • 1718

          #19
          Re: I'm Asgard's Own and Asgard's Finest, baby...

          Originally posted by Assgard's Own View Post
          ...So go ahead and judge me. :]

          I love how you lot focus so much on Wicca and the Goth subculture and Catholics, but what about the TRUE religions--That is, those far more ancient than the trite, inane shite of today.

          Asatruar {Or Odinism, for the idiots in the crowd}--I don't believe my path has ever been brought up on these forums before. So go ahead, guys; Condemn the Heathen. =D

          My Patron God carries a Hammer. Yours was nailed to a tree. Any questions?
          OWNED!
          Mark 16:17 And these attesting signs will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will drive out demons.

          1 Kings 21:14 Then they sent to Jezebel, saying, Naboth is stoned . . .

          A SPIRITUAL WARFARE PRAYER:
          Father, In Jesus' Name, I take the Blood of Jesus and break the power of all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, wiccans, pagans, and any other source, and all of their rituals off of us. With the Blood of Jesus, I erase all evil lines drawn on our liver. . .

          LANDOVER BAPTIST DEMON HUNTING PERMIT #00666-27

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          Comment

          • Joshua Brooks
            Christ Certified Ex-Negro - A white man's white man
            True Christian™
            • Jul 2007
            • 257

            #20
            Re: I'm Asgard's Own and Asgard's Finest, baby...

            Back when I was Unsaved I watched secular televsion and during the last season of Xena: Warrior Princess she killed off all the "gods" except Ares who became a homosexual biker and later helped form The Village People. Assguard must therefore worship the biker in The Village People as he was the only demon left.

            That is just too sad.

            Comment

            • Brother Temperance
              Senior Usher
              True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
              A very nice young man
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 15621

              #21
              Re: I'm Asgard's Own and Asgard's Finest, baby...

              Originally posted by Assgard's Own View Post
              Jenny--The Poetic and Prose Eddas form the basis of our religious text. Our "Bible", if you would.

              Nobar--Why let all the damnation and threads be focused primarily on fad religions such as Wicca? Why not, at the very least, take advantage of this thread to gain some knowledge of something else outside of what pops up in the media all the time because of a bunch of kids trying to be spooky? I'm plenty capable of civil conversation, this could become a Q&A with a modern day Valkyrie.
              You claim to be a Valkyrie? I hate to sound crude, but should Landover consider implementing a "no fat chicks" policy?
              O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



              God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

              Comment

              • Deaner
                Christ's Love Messenger
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2006
                • 5932

                #22
                Re: I'm Asgard's Own and Asgard's Finest, baby...

                Originally posted by Assgard's Own View Post
                My Patron God carries a Hammer. Yours was nailed to a tree. Any questions?
                Um, correction. Your patron drunk scandavian false god carries a hammer. Ours has helicopter gunships, guided missiles and nuclear warheads.

                Oh, and speaking of Odin, look at this idiot. He's got a bird on the top of his head...

                Comment

                • JennyD
                  Honorary True Christian™
                  Sweet Placid Sister
                  Forum Member
                  • Dec 2007
                  • 9567

                  #23
                  Re: I'm Asgard's Own and Asgard's Finest, baby...

                  Originally posted by Deaner View Post
                  Oh, and speaking of Odin, look at this idiot. He's got a bird on the top of his head...
                  I believe that Homer is wearing a dress, Brother Deaner.
                  www.palibandaily.com - Your Christian News Source
                  Huckabee/Palin Gingrich 2012 will reclaim America for Christ! PRAISE!

                  Christian Ladies:
                  Savor your separation in style at the Monthly Visitor!

                  Comment

                  • ForGodsSake
                    X-Aussie Evangelist
                    True Christian™
                    • Feb 2008
                    • 493

                    #24
                    Re: I'm Asgard's Own and Asgard's Finest, baby...

                    Originally posted by JennyD View Post
                    I believe that Homer is wearing a dress, Brother Deaner.
                    That's it then, he is a woman with a beard, probably an escapee from a freak show.
                    (2 Peter 3:10)

                    But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.

                    Comment

                    • SalvationSeeker
                      True Christian™ Theologian
                      Forum Member
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 3892

                      #25
                      Re: I'm Asgard's Own and Asgard's Finest, baby...

                      Originally posted by Assguard's Own View Post
                      ...So go ahead and judge me. :]

                      I love how you lot focus so much on Wicca and the Goth subculture and Catholics, but what about the TRUE religions--That is, those far more ancient than the trite, inane shite of today.

                      Asatruar {Or Odinism, for the idiots in the crowd}--I don't believe my path has ever been brought up on these forums before. So go ahead, guys; Condemn the Heathen. =D

                      My Patron God carries a Hammer. Yours was nailed to a tree. Any questions?
                      I got a question, if your patron demon carries a hammer (making your partron demon Thor obviously) why is your stupid religion called ODINism?
                      Odin doesn't carry a hammer, but as seen in that picture, he carries a dress instead...
                      He's obviously the "wife" in the homersexual Odin-Thor relationship.

                      And he most likely only uses that spear of his for perverted sexual games with himself. Jesus pukes.
                      If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
                      A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
                      Proverbs 9:12-13

                      Comment

                      • JennyD
                        Honorary True Christian™
                        Sweet Placid Sister
                        Forum Member
                        • Dec 2007
                        • 9567

                        #26
                        Re: I'm Asgard's Own and Asgard's Finest, baby...

                        Where IS Assguard's Own, anyway?

                        Maybe he's off in search of Jesus?

                        Just read the Bible, Assguard!!
                        www.palibandaily.com - Your Christian News Source
                        Huckabee/Palin Gingrich 2012 will reclaim America for Christ! PRAISE!

                        Christian Ladies:
                        Savor your separation in style at the Monthly Visitor!

                        Comment

                        • Pastor Billy-Reuben
                          Senior Pastor
                          VP of Evangelical Outreach
                          On FIRE for Jesus
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 5812

                          #27
                          Re: I'm Asgard's Own and Asgard's Finest, baby...

                          Originally posted by Assgard's Own View Post
                          Asatruar {Or Odinism, for the idiots in the crowd}--I don't believe my path has ever been brought up on these forums before.
                          Yes it has. It has received more coverage than it deserves already.

                          From the False Religions Register
                          Asatru (Asstrue - an obvious reference to the copious amount of anal sex in their rituals)
                          Submitted by: Pastor Nerue Gargalo, JustAGuy
                          worship: The Mighty Thor, a character created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby in 1962. They also worship the later characters, Thor's evil half-brother Loki, Heimdal, Baldur, Sif, and Odin. But most important is the so-called "All-Father", Satan himself.
                          Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

                          ✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
                          Trump / Arpaio 2016 -- The Government We Deserve
                          #ChristianLivesMatter

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