Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

40. Will fill uterus or anus with serpents then defile self with cross.
No

Then how did the virgin flower God so generously gave you transform into a writhing abyss of parasites and disease?

[Scott Cole]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

29. Has had an abortion.
Okay, I've never had an abortion and I support. Why? Because a teenager girl, say about 14 or younger, is not going to want to take care of a baby. They're going to want to do other things instead. A rape victim, do you honestly think that they're going to want to take care of child after a traumatizing experience like that? They'll be having other things to worry about. And what if a mother is at risk of dying or the baby is going to have birth defects?

So you enjoy the idea of women killing their kids just because they cant be bothed raising them?, you might aswell just go to your neighbors house and pull a pillow over their kids unsuspecting faces's when there sleeping. You also dont want these poor little rape babies to enjoy a long and fulfilled life with baby JESUS? whats wrong with you athiest scum bags, It's like you have no morals what so ever

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

I love meat too much!

Baby Christians or do you wait until they've grown a little, sicko?

As for the rest of your response, now I know what it's like to look into the heart of pure evil. You're like B. Hussein and Moochelle Obama rolled into one.

[BethWilson]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

1. One or more of your pets are missing. This could be due to animal sacrifice.
None of my pets are missing.
2. Candles in the bedroom.
Whats wrong with candles? They're very nice looking. Anyways heres a candle gif for you all. Admire it!



3. Is a fan of the rock and roll "musical" Wicked.
What's wrong with rock and roll, or any other music related to it?
4. Veganism.
Not vegan. I love meat too much!
5. Possession of condoms.
It means you're using protection!
6. Bite marks on your baby.
Don't have children.
7. Is a Godless gothic.
NO. Just no.
8. A hint of brimstone in the air that Febreze just can't cover.
No
9. Repeated viewings of the Wizard Of Oz where they boo Dorothy for killing the Wicked Witch.
Oh wow
10. Wearing brightly colored scarves and cheap jangly jewelry.
Yes, I wear them.
11. Wears a crucifix (Warning: This could also mean they have been lured into the Catholic cult).
No, I do not.
12. Hasn't been lured into the Catholic cult, but is still pleasant to Catholic priests (who deliver orders to witches from Satan).
Not at all.
13. Has a cat.
And I love her with all my heart!
14. Is a lesbian or homos*xual.
I'm bi.
15. Votes DemocRAT.
Don't vote
16. Hisses at the sight of a Bible.
Nope
17. Is a feminazi.
Not really. Though I do support women's rights
18. Refuses to spend her Eve's curse time in the menstrual shed.
That's sick. You guys need professional help.
19. Upon seeing a Christian child, starts drooling and going "Mmmmmmmm..."
No no no no no.
20. Listens to the "music" of Cher.
I actually do like some of her music
21. Unexplained blood stains on clothing, skin, or hair.
No
22. Has items that state they are with "Team Edward" or "Team Jacob".
Ew, Twilight.
23. When offered ice cream, will ask for a "gelato" instead.
I love ice cream!!
24. Screams when you take them into a church and/or will not sit still during the service.
No one takes me to church, and even if I did I wouldn't be screaming.
25. Wants to wear a costume for HELLoween.
Yes yes yes!!!
26. Asks why you are handing out Chick tracts instead of candy to their fellow coven members who have disguised themselves for "trick or treating".
I don't go trick or treating.
27. Has read Harry Potter.
Only books 1-3. I have yet to read the others. I have seen the movies
28. Has videotapes of Bewitched stashed under the bed.
No
29. Has had an abortion.
Okay, I've never had an abortion and I support. Why? Because a teenager girl, say about 14 or younger, is not going to want to take care of a baby. They're going to want to do other things instead. A rape victim, do you honestly think that they're going to want to take care of child after a traumatizing experience like that? They'll be having other things to worry about. And what if a mother is at risk of dying or the baby is going to have birth defects?
30. Claims Benghazi is a ginned up controversy.
Don't know what that is....
31. "Flips the bird" at American servicemen.
No
32. Sleeps until noon on Saturdays and holidays.
Yes, I do sometimes
33. Makes gagging sounds during decent Christian prayers.
No
34. Supports the construction of the Ground Zero mosque.
I don't care.
35. Isn't married but is no longer a virgin.
Not a virgin and not married, but in a relationship <3
36. Drives a Prius.
I don't drive.
37. Doesn't like going out in the sun, claims a fear of of the nonsensical "disease" "melanoma".
I do go out in the sun. Only when its not too damn bright and hot out.
38. Supports Obamacare, won't admit to the hidden passages in that flawed law that will be used to procure human sacrifices.
I don't care about that
39. Fornicates with Satan.
Nope
40. Will fill uterus or anus with serpents then defile self with cross.
No
41. Will float when dunked in water.
No

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

50. Sees no problem with fornicating with beasts.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

49. Has a vast, gaping maw of foulness and acrimony where an anus would normally be.

[Scott Cole]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

48. smells strongly of fish due to bad hygiene

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

47. Will toss severed cat heads into churches or the funerals of service men and women.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

46. Pretends to have magic powers, can't keep a boyfriend because she is fat.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

45. Watches Happy Days reruns and describes the time period as "ancient".

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

44. Lives in sin without being married in the eyes of God, and sees nothing wrong with that.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

43. Deciding what to believe on the basis of what feels good, despite what history and even basic common sense have to say

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

42: Worships Broccoli or other plant-based idols:

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Friends, there are several threats facing our children today. EVILution, drugs, rock and roll, science, the homos*xual deathstyle, Justin Bieber, abortion, DemocRATS... The list goes on, but perhaps the greatest danger they face is the cult of Wicca. Witchcraft!

We all know the Bible tells us to not suffer a witch to live, but it also tells us to follow secular law, so for now witches get to run around free, spitting in the face of Jesus and His temporary sacrifice for our sins, and even worse, they get to talk to your children and lure them into the depravity of the WICCED cult!

Fortunately, what they can't do is prevent us from recognizing the signs that our children are practicing witchcraft and seeing that they get the help they need from our church and our pastors. So for the sake of preventing this evil from spreading, here is a helpful list of signs that your child is turning into a Wicca.

1. One or more of your pets are missing. This could be due to animal sacrifice.

2. Candles in the bedroom.

3. Is a fan of the rock and roll "musical" Wicked.

4. Veganism.

5. Possession of condoms.

6. Bite marks on your baby.

7. Is a Godless gothic.

8. A hint of brimstone in the air that Febreze just can't cover.

9. Repeated viewings of the Wizard Of Oz where they boo Dorothy for killing the Wicked Witch.

10. Wearing brightly colored scarves and cheap jangly jewelry.

11. Wears a crucifix (Warning: This could also mean they have been lured into the Catholic cult).

12. Hasn't been lured into the Catholic cult, but is still pleasant to Catholic priests (who deliver orders to witches from Satan).

13. Has a cat.

14. Is a lesbian or homos*xual.

15. Votes DemocRAT.

16. Hisses at the sight of a Bible.

17. Is a feminazi.

18. Refuses to spend her Eve's curse time in the menstrual shed.

19. Upon seeing a Christian child, starts drooling and going "Mmmmmmmm..."

20. Listens to the "music" of Cher.

21. Unexplained blood stains on clothing, skin, or hair.

22. Has items that state they are with "Team Edward" or "Team Jacob".

23. When offered ice cream, will ask for a "gelato" instead.

24. Screams when you take them into a church and/or will not sit still during the service.

25. Wants to wear a costume for HELLoween.

26. Asks why you are handing out Chick tracts instead of candy to their fellow coven members who have disguised themselves for "trick or treating".

27. Has read Harry Potter.

28. Has videotapes of Bewitched stashed under the bed.

29. Has had an abortion.

30. Claims Benghazi is a ginned up controversy.

31. "Flips the bird" at American servicemen.

32. Sleeps until noon on Saturdays and holidays.

33. Makes gagging sounds during decent Christian prayers.

34. Supports the construction of the Ground Zero mosque.

35. Isn't married but is no longer a virgin.

36. Drives a Prius.

37. Doesn't like going out in the sun, claims a fear of of the nonsensical "disease" "melanoma".

38. Supports Obamacare, won't admit to the hidden passages in that flawed law that will be used to procure human sacrifices.

39. Fornicates with Satan.

40. Will fill uterus or anus with serpents then defile self with cross.

41. Will float when dunked in water.