[OnYourKnees]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Why would I want to fill my m,ind with words when there are so many better things I can put in there? Things like beautiful women's phone numbers, names, adresses urm... web adresses for sites with beautiful women. I have a lot of other things to fill my memory with.

You might want to talk to a real woman someday, instead of just whacking your tally all over the computer as you gaze at obscene websites!

And put up some plastic before you gaze at our lovely Sisters' photos again!

Impressing a fine lady with wit and wisdom in the ways of the Lord (and other subjects, like (Creation) Science and Investment Management) may make up for shortcomings in "other" areas. I'll let one of the Pastors elaborate, if they so desire.

[Dameon_ACLUtard]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Why would I want to fill my m,ind with words when there are so many better things I can put in there? Things like beautiful women's phone numbers, names, adresses urm... web adresses for sites with beautiful women. I have a lot of other things to fill my memory with.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

So God doesn't like golf then... I can understand your frustration, your women are slightly dence. No offence to any intelligent women who might be lurky, I know there are some out there (Rachael for example).

The baby eating goat worshiping harlot Van Hellsinger is not a Christian friend.

[Brother V]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

I have a fine vocabulary, I just choose not to learn words that I'm never going to use.

How will you know you are never going to use them if you don't learn them?

[Dameon_ACLUtard]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

So God doesn't like golf then... I can understand your frustration, your women are slightly dence. No offence to any intelligent women who might be lurky, I know there are some out there (Rachael for example).

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

You do know that's not Jesus right?

It is no supposed to be friend. That would be making a graven image of the Lord and voilation of His law.

[Dameon_ACLUtard]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

I have a fine vocabulary, I just choose not to learn words that I'm never going to use.

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Thanks.

I assume you're addressing me. I'm glad I was able to simplify my words so your feeble mind could grasp their meaning, but you might want to think about getting a real vocabulary one of these days. It's Godly.

Isaiah 50:4
The Lord GOD hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary: he wakeneth morning by morning, he wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned.

Proverbs 18:21
Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

[Dameon_ACLUtard]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

You do know that's not Jesus right?

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

JESUS loves Golfing!

I'm sure he'd approve of using the clubs for punishing rotten, hellbound children.

GLORY!

[Dameon_ACLUtard]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

I'll have to give that a go, purely for the fact I can kick his ass in an argument... I mean discussion. Might get a few verses locked in my mind and just use them over and over again, can't go wrong with that, I don't have to believe it after all as long as he does.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Yea, sounds like I would have to take a very boring day out and learn my Bible. I think he'd actually be happy with me for once, studying the Bible and all since he could never get me to learn it.

Perhaps you should know it better than he.

I'd bet there are many points you could discuss with him about sin, the nature of God, Jesus, etc. For example, when he says that going to a school dance where there are girls is a sin, you can ask him for the reference and, while he's looking, maybe run across the verses forbidding the blending of fabrics in clothing. Surely there's no elastic in your Godly father's sinless undergarment and no spandex in his pure cotton socks, correct? I've no doubt you could have a lively discussion on that point!

Just remember in these discussions to always honor your father (as commanded in the ten commandments), that your days upon this earth may be long. Or at least so he won't give you a backhand upside the head for being a smartaleck.

[Dameon_ACLUtard]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Thanks.

[see_the_light]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

If you feel you can't hit well with a 3 iron, try a 5. Remember to keep your head down when swinging and rotate your hips and hands through the impact zone. You should really start your downswing with the hip turn, producing more torque. Ensure your belt buckle is pointing at the target at follow through, and carry your hands high.

And when hiting alway look at CHRIST, not at the ball....

Bless you Brother, and PRAISE THE LORD!

[Brother V]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

First let me congratulate you on a perfect theological choice!
...
May the LORD lead us to his HEAVENLY 18 Holes course!

I would think he should probably use the best club in his bag... the foot wedge.

ha ha... ok, seriously. As Glendora said, use a graphite shaft, steel shafts have a tendency to break if you miss-hit them. The graphite won't do that. You'll probably want something with a loose flex (the person who recommended the lady's clubs was onto something) A stiffer shaft will not give you the whipping effect you'll need. Higher lofted clubs will definately result in removal of flesh (the divot), which is why you'd probably want to use something more like a 3 iron, it's flatter and with the loose flex, you'll also get a more appreciative THUD.

(The inverse is true for weeding your garden with a golf club. While the 3 iron is good for removing large growth, you'll probably want to use a sand wedge and take a divot, this will help remove the roots too.)

If you feel you can't hit well with a 3 iron, try a 5. Remember to keep your head down when swinging and rotate your hips and hands through the impact zone. You should really start your downswing with the hip turn, producing more torque. Ensure your belt buckle is pointing at the target at follow through, and carry your hands high.

For even more fun, you could simulate a round of golf on your favorite course (skipping putting) This should also help your golf game. Play the child like you'd play the course. Driver, 7 iron possibly for what would be a 375 yard hole. You must visualize a good ball flight. Remember it's not practice that makes perfect... it's Perfect Practice makes Perfect.

and Go Jesus.

YIC
V