[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Not really. I mean, what the ____ has he ever done for me other than drive my Father to believe every little thing I do is a sin? It's stupid and pointless, I know that I won't go to 'heaven' anyway and as far as going to hell is concerned it doesn't seem like I'd have bad company.

Friend, He has temporarily DIED for you -- what greater sacrifice could be made? Truly He has made every attempt to bring you into the fold -- the next step is yours to take! Simply speak with a pastor today and send a Confirmation Tithe along and you are well on your way to Salvation©!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Not really. I mean, what the hell has he ever done for me other than drive my Father to believe every little thing I do is a sin? It's stupid and pointless, I know that I won't go to 'heaven' anyway and as far as going to hell is concerned it doesn't seem like I'd have bad company.

Friend,

How can you appreciate the company in Hell when you face is going to be stuffed full of Lucifer’s barbed wedding tackle?

As for what Jesus has done for you can’t you see? Your are a human; a creature so vile and disgusting that it deserves to be tortured for eternity for the crime of just existing. However Jesus loves you and holds out His hand for you. Won’t you take His hand, be SAVED™ and REPENT™ of the disgusting nature God created you with?

It is time to take some responsibility for yourself friend.

[Dameon_ACLUtard]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

So you guys think that if I give you money then god will accept me, a guy whose last girlfriend liked to drink blood and had this really sexy thing she did with her tongue. Someone who just last week was in lock up for armed robbery, I mean a few years ago I was selling crack to people at my high school. I don't think your god has a place for me.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

If God has a place for Paul, who called himself a disgusting sinner, He has a place for you! No matter how horrible a sinner you are (with one exception*), you are welcome in Heaven! Just speak with a pastor about getting in a generous Salvation plan and he will guide you in your steps to renouncing your heathenistical ways.

*Note: this offer of Salvation does NOT apply if you've committed THE unforgivable sin -- have you?

[Dameon_ACLUtard]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

I don't know, what's the unforgivable sin?

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

So you guys think that if I give you money then god will accept me, a guy whose last girlfriend liked to drink blood and had this really sexy thing she did with her tongue. Someone who just last week was in lock up for armed robbery, I mean a few years ago I was selling crack to people at my high school. I don't think your god has a place for me.

Romans 6:22-- But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life.

It's all up to you, kid. Still, hardened as your heart is to the Word of God, your sulfurous reward may indeed be unavoidable.

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

I don't know, what's the unforgivable sin?

Mark 3:29-- But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation.

Do you even know what the Holy Ghost is?

[Dameon_ACLUtard]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

One question what does sulfurous mean? Would I be right in assuming it means something bad?

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Not really. I mean, what the hell has he ever done for me other than drive my Father to believe every little thing I do is a sin? It's stupid and pointless, I know that I won't go to 'heaven' anyway and as far as going to hell is concerned it doesn't seem like I'd have bad company.

READ ALL OF THIS AND THINK ON IT. Yep, the whole thing.

Do you really think Jesus has nothing better to do than whisper sweet nothings in your father's ear about sin? Your father learned these things from his church, his parents, or possibly through selective reading of the Bible.

But you can so easily get your own Bible! All you have to do is read it, understand it, and realize that True Christians™ accept every word of it as the True Word of God.

For example, the Bible says that God made the world in seven days (technically, six. He rested on day seven). Does your father believe in "evolution"? The Bible says otherwise.

The Bible says that Adam and Eve were the first humans, and that everyone descended from them. That means that incest is fine and dandy, as their children must have married one another. Does your father want you to impregnate a near relative? The Bible says it's OK, as long as you're married. If he says otherwise, he doesn't know the Bible very well. (It happened a second time after God drowned all the people except Noah and his family. Check it out.)

The Bible says that it is a sin to wear a garment made of two different types of material. Is Dad wearing any cotton/polyester blends? That'd be a sin, and Wal-Mart is leading the way toward ever more blended fabrics.

The Bible says that the perfect God created a perfect Creation, then decided that He should punish any of those perfect beings that He created for all eternity (infinite punishment in the lake of fire) for any transgression against the laws He created (finite sin, like wearing permanent-press clothing). Does your father say that God is fair and just? The Bible says otherwise.

The Bible says that sodomy (that is, any non-procreative sex, including oral, anal, manual, or with birth control) is a sin. I won't ask about your father's sex life -- and hope you don't know the details -- but if he's had sex without intending to have a child, that's a sin. If your parents use birth control, that's a sin. If they have sex after your mother reaches menopause, well that's a sin, too. If he had sex with a woman (or man) outside of wedlock, that's a sin.

There are plenty of sins, friend. More than enough to go around.

A strong working knowledge of the Bible, God's Perfect Word, as dictated in 1611 to the scribes of King James (that is, the King James Version), is your best means of managing a father who seems happy to pick the mote from your eye, whilst ignoring the beam in his own.

[Dameon_ACLUtard]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Ok, wow. I read all of that and I actually feel really sinful in the eyes of your god. When it comes to comparing those things to my father I think he stumbles at only a few hurdles (wouldn't know about the sex one and don't care to find out). My old man's not into the idea of incest as far as I'm aware but he's pretty read up on everything else. My Father is a quote the bible every time you step out of line kind of guy.

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

One question what does sulfurous mean? Would I be right in assuming it means something bad?

From Merriam-Webster's Dictionary (forgive me for having to quote a non-Biblical source):

Main Entry: sul·fu·rous
Variant(s): also sul·phu·rous /'s&l-f&-r&s, -fy&- also especially for 1a "s&l-'fyur-&s/
Function: adjective
1 a : of, relating to, or containing sulfur especially with a lower valence than sulfuric compounds <sulfurous esters> b : resembling or emanating from sulfur and especially burning sulfur
2 a : of, relating to, or dealing with the fire of hell

I'd say that's about as bad as it gets, wouldn't you?

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Ok, wow. I read all of that and I actually feel really sinful in the eyes of your god. When it comes to comparing those things to my father I think he stumbles at only a few hurdles (wouldn't know about the sex one and don't care to find out). My old man's not into the idea of incest as far as I'm aware but he's pretty read up on everything else. My Father is a quote the bible every time you step out of line kind of guy.

Then it seems your best path would be to know the Bible better than your father, eh?

[Dameon_ACLUtard]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Oh ok I see. So basically you could have just said I'm going to hell?

[Dameon_ACLUtard]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Yea, sounds like I would have to take a very boring day out and learn my bible. I think he'd actually be happy with me for once, studying the bible and all since he could never get me to learn it.

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: Which golf club should I beat my children with?

Oh ok I see. So basically you could have just said I'm going to hell?

You're going to Hell.