Caught my nephews vaping yesterday.

[Uncle Rutherford]

While I was out and about runnin errands and dropping off my tithes, I decided to check social media to see what my good for nothing most likely Antifa BLM anti-American nephews were up to on Twitter. Mind you, I’m banned because Jack from Twitter likes demoncrats and hated Jesus and normally can’t view their profiles, but by logging out I could. I saw both my nephews with those FAG SUCKING vape things in their mouths. What do I do about this?!

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Caught my nephews vaping yesterday.

Uncle Rutherford, do you have a trusted family member who could check on the contents of those vaporing machines? Because it could be the dope, in which case the feds might be interested. Or it might just be Clorox, which would reassure you that they're just pretending to be demoncrats to be in with the "cool" kids.

I will pray for you, but not for your family (at least until you confirm that they are worth the trouble of praying for).


YiC
JL-V

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Caught my nephews vaping yesterday.

This is devastating but expected. We have expert testimonials with the alarming message: "Vaping will make you gay!". "Gay" is the modern word for Sodomite. It is also well known that sodomites are anal homosexuals and that many homosexuals are gay.

Jerry Hitcherfield, 17, is accusing lead e-cigarette maker Juul of marketing to young straight men. He claims vaping made him into a homosexual. Hitcherfield who now lives with his boyfriend, says he never experienced any homosexual thoughts until he started vaping. He claims the vaping community, also known as the LGBTQ, helped him come out to his family. “It wasn’t easy, but I had to tell my family my I’m a vaping homosexual,” said Hitcherfield...
... In 2017 medical professionals from Huzlers did a study on vaping and concluded that vaping was amongst one of the leading causes of homosexuality.

Our more enlightened readers are also immediately reminded of a Bible verse that warns us about the same thing.

Acts 2:19
And I will shew wonders in heaven above, and signs in the earth beneath; blood, and fire, and vapour of smoke:



The picture above is a clear indication that vaping provides a sure one-way passage to Hell. Q.E.D. Thank you for this timely post, Brother in Christ, but I am afraid that your nephews are already lost.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Uncle Rutherford]

Re: Caught my nephews vaping yesterday.

This is devastating but expected. We have expert testimonials with the alarming message: "Vaping will make you gay!". "Gay" is the modern word for Sodomite. It is also well known that sodomites are anal homosexuals and that many homosexuals are gay.Our more enlightened readers are also immediately reminded of a Bible verse that warns us about the same thing.

Acts 2:19
And I will shew wonders in heaven above, and signs in the earth beneath; blood, and fire, and vapour of smoke:



The picture above is a clear indication that vaping provides a sure one-way passage to Hell. Q.E.D. Thank you for this timely post, Brother in Christ, but I am afraid that your nephews are already lost.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

By those accounts, I made sure to let my nephews know via a strongly worded letter (I’m not allowed to visit my sister for whatever reason after January 6th) that if they don’t quit vaping that God will send a thousand gay men to their homes and explode their sin sticks in an eruption of fire to teach them. Thank you for your enlightened words Brother Elmer.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Caught my nephews vaping yesterday.

By those accounts, I made sure to let my nephews know via a strongly worded letter (I’m not allowed to visit my sister for whatever reason after January 6th) that if they don’t quit vaping that God will send a thousand gay men to their homes and explode their sin sticks in an eruption of fire to teach them. Thank you for your enlightened words Brother Elmer.

Glory! That's some mighty fine uncleing, Uncle Rutherford. A shame that their darkie father is in prison/abandoned them/dead and can't carry out his fatherly duties. Many times I've warned my sons that they will be butt raped by monstrous faggots if they stray from God's path and lead a dissolute lifestyle, but a thousand gay men! Nigras really do have a talent for entertaining white folk! Bless you, my Christian "brutha."

[AkiraK]

Re: Caught my nephews vaping yesterday.

By those accounts, I made sure to let my nephews know via a strongly worded letter (I’m not allowed to visit my sister for whatever reason after January 6th) that if they don’t quit vaping that God will send a thousand gay men to their homes and explode their sin sticks in an eruption of fire to teach them. Thank you for your enlightened words Brother Elmer.

what the fuck

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Caught my nephews vaping yesterday.

Punishment for sodomy - spend eternity in the Lake of Fire? You bet - and Jesus in His infinite mercy is always trying to warn us.

We repeat this here as a Public Service Announcement from the Landover Baptist Church.


Another E-cig battery explosion on camera

Remember those Lithium battery explosions in those Tesla electric cars that firemen can't put out? It's telling us that Jesus prefers oil.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Caught my nephews vaping yesterday.

It said that they're exploding on planes. Why would an explosive material such as lithium be allowed on planes? Whatever the reason is, it's been pointed out in schoolrooms as a novelty with sodium and potassium fizzing around in a dish, can you do that in a plane? No.

SODIUM
POTASSIUM
LITHIUM

[WWJDnow]

Re: Caught my nephews vaping yesterday.

Uncle Rutherford, it is truly sad that your nephews were sucking on these infernal devices. Young boys need to learn how to smoke cigarettes and cigars. Anything less is likely to turn them queer.

I recommend teaching them about the proper way for boys to consume tobacco products, by setting them on fire and inhaling (and, perhaps, by chewin' chaw). Then let that lesson sink in with a good whoopin'.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Caught my nephews vaping yesterday.

When I was a 12 year old boy my father caught me smoking a cigarette with a friend. He made us smoke the entire rest of the packet in front of him. I learnt an important lesson - grown ups have no idea when it comes to taking drugs. Don't ask them anything, don't tell them anything, maintain total information blackout. I'm not sure that helps with your nephew but thought I would share nonetheless.