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My daughter dresses my sixteen-month-old granddaughter like a harlot, and after beating the stuffing* out of both of them the other day for this reason, I decided to buy the latter a new wardrobe. I've been looking online, and have yet to find one article of clothing befitting a modest, God-fearing, Christian baby who appreciates that Jesus died for her sins. Here's an example of the trash I've encountered:
The little hussy is wearing a bow in her hair like a French prostitute. She's also wearing lace. Lace is Satan's fabric and shouldn't even be worn by adult women. It is a fact that lace causes nymphomania, herpes, public nudity, vomiting, headaches, heartburn, hair loss, and diarrhea. Worst of all, it may lead to self-gratification. Notice how the infant, overwhelmed by her lacy ensemble, is playing with her no-no area. Despicable.
Here's another example:
The dress leaves little to the imagination. I saw less skin when I was a young man peeling potatoes in the army, folks. And like the harlot before her, she is wearing a bawdy bow. Sickening.
It gets worse. Here is what's passing as swimwear for toddlers nowadays:
The top is low-cut, her midriff and legs are exposed, and the suit is a bright, whore blue.
Friends, I know you all share my outrage. Join me in boycotting children's clothing manufacturers until they start producing decent apparel for youngsters. In the meantime, you ladies can get busy sewing. And, fellas, you can do your part by criticizing and demeaning the ladies. Praise Jesus.
*Literally. They had just eaten Stove Top©.
©Kraft Foods, Inc.
The little hussy is wearing a bow in her hair like a French prostitute. She's also wearing lace. Lace is Satan's fabric and shouldn't even be worn by adult women. It is a fact that lace causes nymphomania, herpes, public nudity, vomiting, headaches, heartburn, hair loss, and diarrhea. Worst of all, it may lead to self-gratification. Notice how the infant, overwhelmed by her lacy ensemble, is playing with her no-no area. Despicable.
Here's another example:
The dress leaves little to the imagination. I saw less skin when I was a young man peeling potatoes in the army, folks. And like the harlot before her, she is wearing a bawdy bow. Sickening.
It gets worse. Here is what's passing as swimwear for toddlers nowadays:
The top is low-cut, her midriff and legs are exposed, and the suit is a bright, whore blue.
Friends, I know you all share my outrage. Join me in boycotting children's clothing manufacturers until they start producing decent apparel for youngsters. In the meantime, you ladies can get busy sewing. And, fellas, you can do your part by criticizing and demeaning the ladies. Praise Jesus.
*Literally. They had just eaten Stove Top©.
©Kraft Foods, Inc.
ve, Sister Thumper
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