Help, my grammar is masterbating!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Help, my son is masterbating!

My 12 year old son Peter has taken up the sick hobby of masterbation. I've tried to tell him that it's a sick perversion that Jesus hates, and watches intensely. But he always comes back with some smartalecy comeback like "but it doesn't hurt anyone" and "it feels good". Well of course it feels good, that's just what Satan wants! Didn't that boy learn anything from our home bible sermons? I just don't know what to do.

You might want to take a look at THIS thread, which offers helpful hints on tried and proven methods for decreasing masturbation.

But since your son sounds like he might be turning queer, I'd get him signed up for Vacation Bible Gun Camp just as soon as possible. It'll make a man out of him.

[PalinHuckabee4Prez]

My 12 year old son Peter has taken up the sick hobby of masterbation. I've tried to tell him that it's a sick perversion that Jesus hates, and watches intensely. But he always comes back with some smartalecy comeback like "but it doesn't hurt anyone" and "it feels good". Well of course it feels good, that's just what Satan wants! Didn't that boy learn anything from our home bible sermons? I just don't know what to do.