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What's the worst thing to come out of Detroit?
The Chevy Volt?
NO!
It's Faygo!
Faygo is not merely another high fructose corn syrup-based tooth-rotting and diabetes-encouraging soft drink. No!
Faygo is not simply a means for failing Detroit automakers to dispose of contaminated automatic transmission fluid and other toxic chemicals. No!
Faygo is not accidentally clothed in bright, "gay" colors. No!
This leading product in the homosexual agenda actually contains an addictive "mystery ingredient" which causes kids to turn gay!
Even the name tells us what it's all about. Faygo is an anagram for "Fo' Gay" and also "Yo, Fag"!
According to Professor Bessemer's recent study, seven out of ten mothers of recently-treated ex-homosexual children surveyed said that their kids had not displayed any Sodomite tendencies until they brought home Faygo from the Freehold Mini-Mart. Any!
Their kids rapidly became addicted to the soft drink, and other things I will not mention.
Each and every one of these mothers, when asked whether their poor parenting or the Faygo were to blame for their child's perversion, pointed a finger firmly at the colorful bottle on the table. That was plenty for the Town Council!
Pastor Ezekiel has informed me that Faygo has now been banned in Freehold. All stores have been directed to return Faygo to the distributor for a refund.
Anyone with Faygo in their homes is instructed to have your boys load it into their red wagons and haul it over to Pastor Ezekiel's estate. He will interview each boy privately to ensure that he is not infected with the gayness, and will place those which have been so infected directly into therapy in the Betty Bowers BASH (Baptists Are Saving Homosexuals) program.
Please be sure to provide a little extra in the offering plate, or perhaps send some cherry pie Pastor's way. He's taking a great risk here, and going well beyond the call of duty!
The Chevy Volt?
NO!
It's Faygo!
Faygo is not merely another high fructose corn syrup-based tooth-rotting and diabetes-encouraging soft drink. No!
Faygo is not simply a means for failing Detroit automakers to dispose of contaminated automatic transmission fluid and other toxic chemicals. No!
Faygo is not accidentally clothed in bright, "gay" colors. No!
This leading product in the homosexual agenda actually contains an addictive "mystery ingredient" which causes kids to turn gay!
Even the name tells us what it's all about. Faygo is an anagram for "Fo' Gay" and also "Yo, Fag"!
According to Professor Bessemer's recent study, seven out of ten mothers of recently-treated ex-homosexual children surveyed said that their kids had not displayed any Sodomite tendencies until they brought home Faygo from the Freehold Mini-Mart. Any!
Their kids rapidly became addicted to the soft drink, and other things I will not mention.
Each and every one of these mothers, when asked whether their poor parenting or the Faygo were to blame for their child's perversion, pointed a finger firmly at the colorful bottle on the table. That was plenty for the Town Council!
Pastor Ezekiel has informed me that Faygo has now been banned in Freehold. All stores have been directed to return Faygo to the distributor for a refund.
Anyone with Faygo in their homes is instructed to have your boys load it into their red wagons and haul it over to Pastor Ezekiel's estate. He will interview each boy privately to ensure that he is not infected with the gayness, and will place those which have been so infected directly into therapy in the Betty Bowers BASH (Baptists Are Saving Homosexuals) program.
Please be sure to provide a little extra in the offering plate, or perhaps send some cherry pie Pastor's way. He's taking a great risk here, and going well beyond the call of duty!
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