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  • #16
    Re: A proposal: child suicide bombers for Christ

    Originally posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
    Here's a simple picture that shows us all why Christians should become suicide bombers.


    This is Burj Dubai, a building under construction in Dubai, a moslem country. If it's completed (big IF, it's close to Babylon and we all know what God thought about the last tower that was built there) it will be the tallest building in the world:



    I've been lobbying for our contribution to it's opening celebration: a few B-52 loads of napalm to turn it into a burnt-out shell, a reminder for decades to come of Americian tough justice. Talk about a housewarming gift!

    But now I'm thinking, the punishment should fit the crime. There would be such poetic justice if Christians were to highjack 4 airliners and crash it into that over-rated house of cards.

    Wish they'd hurry up and finish construction on the thing.
    Tower of Babel, anyone?

    And about that Mecca arena, I'd like to get ice hockey, basketball, and arena football in the building...

    But seriously, I hate that "human sacrifice" idea! It's just wrong.

    Last time it was done by the pagan Aztecs, and Cortez' army (a bunch of Catholics) cleaned their clocks in conquest!

    I guess all heretics think alike...
    ACTS 5:29
    But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men."
    There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?

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    • #17
      Re: A proposal: child suicide bombers for Christ

      Oooooh goodie, we kin play Gee-Had now.

      I'ma tell liddow Billy, he's gotta wear some bomzes. Now we just gotta d'cide who ta' make all boomy fer Jeevus.

      We could do the bomy thinbg ta' Missuz Burr-Guppy, the Preschoow teachar. I fink, she must be a bad athean lady on accounta she don't let us chew bubbow gum at recess. An' she says, it's awe bad fer your teeths an' stuff. An I was tryin' ta' say, like Jeevus woun't let peopow make stuf what's bad fer your teeths, but she juss' laughed an' tol' me I hadda spit it out. Then she made me sit in thuh corner. Only a bad Darniac would be agin' Jeevus like that.

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      • #18
        Re: A proposal: child suicide bombers for Christ

        I'm watching the 1943 movie Bataan. There's a great scene where an American does a kamakazie attack: proving that Christians invented suicide bombing before either the Japanese or the muslims. The terrorists should pay us royalities every time they blow themselves up!

        Battaan is now highly recommended Sunday school viewing, and I give it two thumbs up.
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        • #19
          Re: A proposal: child suicide bombers for Christ

          Originally posted by Father Thomas Martin View Post
          I guess all heretics think alike...
          Yes, you all worship Dagon!
          O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



          God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

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          • #20
            Re: A proposal: child suicide bombers for Christ

            The good lord has assigned each of us with special gifts, for the muslim its is the ability to walk into a crowd of innocent people and set off a bomb that can level a block and for their mothers to celebrate in it , for the jew it is the ability to swindle people out of their life savings, for the black it is the ability to have sex with anyone at any time with no regard for consequences. Should the Geneva 6 for example be allowed to kick in someones head repeatedly without consequence? Or is this a priviledge that only minorities should be allowed. I say if you ar serious about this find a small arab child, take him into your home, raise him in the ways of God and set him off into the world to set off a bomb. Not only will he be far more able to do so than a christian child but it is also his right as a minority in society. Can I have an Amen.

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            • #21
              Re: A proposal: child suicide bombers for Christ

              Originally posted by Al Shipton View Post
              Can I have an Amen.
              Amen Brother!

              and psssssst it's the Jena 6
              sigpic

              Tweet me Here
              My GODLY Bio Here

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              • #22
                Re: A proposal: child suicide bombers for Christ

                Yes you are right Sista Bible Thumpin. Sometimes I get them mixed up. The Geneva 6 were a gang of white ladies who gave me a concusion after I offered to give them a private counciling session in my van where it was parked in front of the Landover Church. I assure you my intentions as a Minister were totally honorable. Their papa Kane Geneva didn't see it that way and I was nearly lynched outside the church.

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                • #23
                  Re: A proposal: child suicide bombers for Christ

                  UPDATE! FOX NEWS FOLLOWS OUR LEAD!

                  Here's Fox news calling for funding middle-eastern terrorists to carry out Iraq-style suicide car bombings, and similar "havoc"! Hey, maybe we can even recreate the Beslan school massacre!



                  Landover leads, the world follows!
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                  • #24
                    Re: A proposal: child suicide bombers for Christ

                    I would proudly offer up my son to Jesus if it means offering up a few hundred sand ni***s to satan.

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                    • #25
                      Re: A proposal: child suicide bombers for Christ

                      Originally posted by DamnTheGaysToHell View Post
                      I would proudly offer up my son to Jesus if it means offering up a few hundred sand ni***s to satan.
                      We prefer the term "islamofascists" or "arabs".
                      Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
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                      • #26
                        Re: A proposal: child suicide bombers for Christ

                        I think every religious person should blow themselves up, then you all can goto heaven and we would finally have peace on this planet

                        religion and its wars have plagued this planet for far too long and its time someone put an end to the madness

                        be a martyr

                        KILL YOURSELF
                        If Christ were here today, and saw how all of his followers acted in his name, he would hang himself !

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                        • #27
                          Re: A proposal: child suicide bombers for Christ

                          Originally posted by Recovering Christian View Post
                          I think every religious person should blow themselves up, then you all can goto heaven and we would finally have peace on this planet

                          religion and its wars have plagued this planet for far too long and its time someone put an end to the madness

                          be a martyr

                          KILL YOURSELF
                          Why are all you atheists so filled with anger and hatred?
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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                          • #28
                            Re: A proposal: child suicide bombers for Christ

                            The good lord knows that religious zealots will soon catch up to the likes of Stalin and Polpot before long.

                            Especially with people like Jeb here preaching a ministry of HATE and GODLESSNESS.

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                            • #29
                              Re: A proposal: child suicide bombers for Christ

                              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                              Why are all you atheists so filled with anger and hatred?
                              Now THAT is calling the kettle black.

                              You should change your name to Esau......and you know how God felt about Esau.

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                              • #30
                                Re: A proposal: child suicide bombers for Christ

                                Originally posted by Father Septic Tank View Post
                                Now THAT is calling the kettle black.
                                And THAT is pure and simple racism.

                                There's nothing wrong with being "black", or as negros in our town like to call it "racially challenged".
                                Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
                                Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
                                Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!

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