[Brother Enoch]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Brother thanks for putting me up for the night. I wanted to stay for the week but I have The Stoning Festival to attend to. I hope you can make it down for it. If you come can you bring some of that moose and caribou meat, best darn burger I have ever eaten.

I think the movie and a long talk with the idiot worked, he was shocked at what he saw. He claimed that he did not know that is what you did to make a baby. Time will tell. I left him with the movie in case a refresher viewing is needed.

P.S. tell your daughter thanks for keeping me warm last night, Eskimos are very friendly.

James, I think we have a problem here. I don't think your son was being truthful with you when he said he didn't know what to do. It turns out there is indeed a grandbaby on the way. But it's not with my daughter, his 15 year old wife, it's with my daughter his 13 year old not-wife. She's 6 weeks pregnant.

I was on my way to kill him, when my eskimo wife stopped me. Apparently this isn't a problem for eskimos. She calmed me down a bit, telling me this sort of thing is Biblically acceptable. I'm not sure she's right, but I'm going through the Bible now to find out if God condones this sort of thing. It usually takes me about 4 days to read the entire Bible, so your boy has at least that long.

Does anyone else here know if my wife is right on this one?

[James Dewitt]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Well, good news all. Brother James arrived on time and had a long chat with his idiot son. I had to turn up the radio to drown out the screams coming from the outbuilding. I do appreciate the gusto with which Brother James' son shouts out praises to the Lord, but it was making my wife all feral. That's a dangerous thing with Eskimos. People have been mauled.

All should be well now, Brother James' parenting skills are unequaled.

And I hid my wife's dentures, so there shouldn't be any unfortunate accidents when James comes in the main house for the night.

Brother thanks for putting me up for the night. I wanted to stay for the week but I have The Stoning Festival to attend to. I hope you can make it down for it. If you come can you bring some of that moose and caribou meat, best darn burger I have ever eaten.

I think the movie and a long talk with the idiot worked, he was shocked at what he saw. He claimed that he did not know that is what you did to make a baby. Time will tell. I left him with the movie in case a refresher viewing is needed.

P.S. tell your daughter thanks for keeping me warm last night, Eskimos are very friendly.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Well, good news all. Brother James arrived on time and had a long chat with his idiot son. I had to turn up the radio to drown out the screams coming from the outbuilding. I do appreciate the gusto with which Brother James' son shouts out praises to the Lord, but it was making my wife all feral. That's a dangerous thing with Eskimos. People have been mauled.

All should be well now, Brother James' parenting skills are unequaled.

And I hid my wife's dentures, so there shouldn't be any unfortunate accidents when James comes in the main house for the night.

Brother Enoch, I hope you do not find my question rude but I felt I needed to ask.

As part of the ''Bride price'' did her family demand the pelt of a polar bear?
And if so, Are you sure you skinned the right one?

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Well, good news all. Brother James arrived on time and had a long chat with his idiot son. I had to turn up the radio to drown out the screams coming from the outbuilding. I do appreciate the gusto with which Brother James' son shouts out praises to the Lord, but it was making my wife all feral. That's a dangerous thing with Eskimos. People have been mauled.

All should be well now, Brother James' parenting skills are unequaled.

And I hid my wife's dentures, so there shouldn't be any unfortunate accidents when James comes in the main house for the night.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Brother Enoch, I am getting ready to catch a flight this morning. I will arrive at 3pm your time. I have a good movie for the idiot to see. I never knew that the local video store had instructional videos, I thought the the XXX section was for fat people, like weight loss movies, go figure.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

At this point spreading my entrails across the four corners of the earth does not sound bad

you know I was thinking of a much earlier scene. I was going to say more pleasant but the thought of the ring kissing heathen, Mel Gipson dieing in some horrible way is a very pleasant thought.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Thanks Levi at least I do not have to worry about that

Would you like to join me for a little one on one training in Canada?

Nah, nah. I'm good. You got this one. I'll continue on my lesson plans for the youth group. I also have to keep an eye on my prize pupil, so she doesn't take any more gifts of pediabear undies from certain people.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

I just re-watched Brave Heart, you too?

At this point spreading my entrails across the four corners of the earth does not sound bad

[James Dewitt]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

At least you have nothing to worry about with the bachelor party. I'm all over that.

Thanks Levi at least I do not have to worry about that

Would you like to join me for a little one on one training in Canada?

[Levi Jones]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

I am at a loss for words, do I have to do everything myself?

At least you have nothing to worry about with the bachelor party. I'm all over that.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

I am at a loss for words, do I have o do everything myself?

I just re-watched Brave Heart, you too?

[James Dewitt]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

I will pray for that James. It seems you weren't exaggerating when calling him an idiot. My own sons suddenly seem a lot smarter.

I am at a loss for words, do I have to do everything myself?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

I will pray for that James. It seems you weren't exaggerating when calling him an idiot. My own sons suddenly seem a lot smarter.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

James, I'm at a loss. This is my daughter we're talking about, so it's a bit difficult to explain to your boy what he's supposed to do to my daughter. I'm sure you can understand.

Now, my daughter has been complaining daily to my wife about how bruised her bellybutton is becoming. This leads me to believe something isn't being done correctly.

Unfortunately my Eskimo wife barely understands English, while my children don't speak any Eskimo at all (figured I'd nip that one in the bud years ago, and didn't permit the wife to teach them that heathen talk).

So, I'm stuck. Your boy seems happy though, I guess it's working for him.

Any advice on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated. Maybe a videotape? I've never been in one of those type of stores though.

I will be a son of a b*$&#, if his mother where still living around I would punch her in the mouth. There ain't no way that kid can be from my loins. I am catching a flight next week to explain in detail what my moron son should be doing. If i don't have enough on my plate as it is already. I have the stoning festival, a wedding and I am helping Sister BIG build a house. Now I have to fly to Canada to explain to my idiot son how o make a baby.
Jesus can you cut me some slack here,I go to church every day, I tithe 50% of my income can you help a brother out? Jesus I pray send a angel to help my moron son make a baby.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Brothers I think this book might help as it is 3d and your children might get a better idea that way, Maybe flat pictures confuse them.

http://www.amazon.com/Pop-up-Book-Sex-Melcher-Media/dp/0061129747/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1278209042&sr=1-1

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The Pop-up Book of Sex [Hardcover]


Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Stimulate your imagination and body--open this book and see what pops up! A scandalously clever tour of the erotic arts, The Pop-up Book of Sex provides a unique perspective on such positions as the classic Missionary, the naughty Mile-High Club, the exotic Lotus, and the whimsical Fantasy.
Sensuously illustrated, spectacular three-dimensional pop-ups bring to life the art of getting busy, and will forever electrify your boudoir repertoire.
You'll never see sex the same way again.
Click on the image below for a sneek peek of the book in action: