[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

I am at a loss for words, do I have o do everything myself?

I just re-watched Brave Heart, you too?

[Levi Jones]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

I am at a loss for words, do I have to do everything myself?

At least you have nothing to worry about with the bachelor party. I'm all over that.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

At least you have nothing to worry about with the bachelor party. I'm all over that.

Thanks Levi at least I do not have to worry about that

Would you like to join me for a little one on one training in Canada?

[James Dewitt]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

I just re-watched Brave Heart, you too?

At this point spreading my entrails across the four corners of the earth does not sound bad

[Levi Jones]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Thanks Levi at least I do not have to worry about that

Would you like to join me for a little one on one training in Canada?

Nah, nah. I'm good. You got this one. I'll continue on my lesson plans for the youth group. I also have to keep an eye on my prize pupil, so she doesn't take any more gifts of pediabear undies from certain people.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

At this point spreading my entrails across the four corners of the earth does not sound bad

you know I was thinking of a much earlier scene. I was going to say more pleasant but the thought of the ring kissing heathen, Mel Gipson dieing in some horrible way is a very pleasant thought.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Brother Enoch, I am getting ready to catch a flight this morning. I will arrive at 3pm your time. I have a good movie for the idiot to see. I never knew that the local video store had instructional videos, I thought the the XXX section was for fat people, like weight loss movies, go figure.

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Well, good news all. Brother James arrived on time and had a long chat with his idiot son. I had to turn up the radio to drown out the screams coming from the outbuilding. I do appreciate the gusto with which Brother James' son shouts out praises to the Lord, but it was making my wife all feral. That's a dangerous thing with Eskimos. People have been mauled.

All should be well now, Brother James' parenting skills are unequaled.

And I hid my wife's dentures, so there shouldn't be any unfortunate accidents when James comes in the main house for the night.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Well, good news all. Brother James arrived on time and had a long chat with his idiot son. I had to turn up the radio to drown out the screams coming from the outbuilding. I do appreciate the gusto with which Brother James' son shouts out praises to the Lord, but it was making my wife all feral. That's a dangerous thing with Eskimos. People have been mauled.

All should be well now, Brother James' parenting skills are unequaled.

And I hid my wife's dentures, so there shouldn't be any unfortunate accidents when James comes in the main house for the night.

Brother Enoch, I hope you do not find my question rude but I felt I needed to ask.

As part of the ''Bride price'' did her family demand the pelt of a polar bear?
And if so, Are you sure you skinned the right one?

[James Dewitt]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Well, good news all. Brother James arrived on time and had a long chat with his idiot son. I had to turn up the radio to drown out the screams coming from the outbuilding. I do appreciate the gusto with which Brother James' son shouts out praises to the Lord, but it was making my wife all feral. That's a dangerous thing with Eskimos. People have been mauled.

All should be well now, Brother James' parenting skills are unequaled.

And I hid my wife's dentures, so there shouldn't be any unfortunate accidents when James comes in the main house for the night.

Brother thanks for putting me up for the night. I wanted to stay for the week but I have The Stoning Festival to attend to. I hope you can make it down for it. If you come can you bring some of that moose and caribou meat, best darn burger I have ever eaten.

I think the movie and a long talk with the idiot worked, he was shocked at what he saw. He claimed that he did not know that is what you did to make a baby. Time will tell. I left him with the movie in case a refresher viewing is needed.

P.S. tell your daughter thanks for keeping me warm last night, Eskimos are very friendly.

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Brother thanks for putting me up for the night. I wanted to stay for the week but I have The Stoning Festival to attend to. I hope you can make it down for it. If you come can you bring some of that moose and caribou meat, best darn burger I have ever eaten.

I think the movie and a long talk with the idiot worked, he was shocked at what he saw. He claimed that he did not know that is what you did to make a baby. Time will tell. I left him with the movie in case a refresher viewing is needed.

P.S. tell your daughter thanks for keeping me warm last night, Eskimos are very friendly.

James, I think we have a problem here. I don't think your son was being truthful with you when he said he didn't know what to do. It turns out there is indeed a grandbaby on the way. But it's not with my daughter, his 15 year old wife, it's with my daughter his 13 year old not-wife. She's 6 weeks pregnant.

I was on my way to kill him, when my eskimo wife stopped me. Apparently this isn't a problem for eskimos. She calmed me down a bit, telling me this sort of thing is Biblically acceptable. I'm not sure she's right, but I'm going through the Bible now to find out if God condones this sort of thing. It usually takes me about 4 days to read the entire Bible, so your boy has at least that long.

Does anyone else here know if my wife is right on this one?

[James Dewitt]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

=Brother Enoch;556047]

James, I think we have a problem here. I don't think your son was being truthful with you when he said he didn't know what to do. It turns out there is indeed a grandbaby on the way. But it's not with my daughter, his 15 year old wife, it's with my daughter his 13 year old not-wife. She's 6 weeks pregnant.

I had a feeling the idiot was lying to me, no 16 year old boy can be that damn dumb.

I was on my way to kill him, when my eskimo wife stopped me. Apparently this isn't a problem for eskimos. She calmed me down a bit, telling me this sort of thing is Biblically acceptable. I'm not sure she's right, but I'm going through the Bible now to find out if God condones this sort of thing. It usually takes me about 4 days to read the entire Bible, so your boy has at least that long.

Thank you for not killing him, I am not sure if I would have had the same restraint. I have to tell you brother if things do not work out his way, he has no one to blame but himself. If he committed an egregious sin he must pay the price. If you kill him or Jesus kills him the end result is the same.

Does anyone else here know if my wife is right on this one?

I am not sure if this is an answer or not.
Judges 19:24-25



Behold, here is my daughter a maiden, and his concubine; them I will bring out now, and humble ye them, and do with them what seemeth good unto you: but unto this man do not so vile a thing.
But the men would not hearken to him: so the man took his concubine, and brought her forth unto them; and they knew her, and abused her all the night until the morning: and when the day began to spring, they let her go.


Here is another problem, was she a virgin and did the idiot rape her?
Deuteronomy 22:28-29



If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found;
Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.


And then we have the bastard problem.
Deuteronomy 23:2



A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.




Pastors we need guidance.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Pastors we need guidance.

Your boy is in big trouble. No marrying or sexual intercourse with the sister of a wife unless the other is dead.

Leviticus 18:18 Neither shalt thou take a wife to her sister, to vex her, to uncover her nakedness, beside the other in her life time.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Your boy is in big trouble. No marrying or sexual intercourse with the sister of a wife unless the other is dead.

Leviticus 18:18 Neither shalt thou take a wife to her sister, to vex her, to uncover her nakedness, beside the other in her life time.

Brother Levi what about -

Genesis 29:16-30 (King James Version)


16And Laban had two daughters: the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel.
17Leah was tender eyed; but Rachel was beautiful and well favoured.
18And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter.
19And Laban said, It is better that I give her to thee, than that I should give her to another man: abide with me.
20And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her.
21And Jacob said unto Laban, Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her.
22And Laban gathered together all the men of the place, and made a feast.
23And it came to pass in the evening, that he took Leah his daughter, and brought her to him; and he went in unto her.
24And Laban gave unto his daughter Leah Zilpah his maid for an handmaid.
25And it came to pass, that in the morning, behold, it was Leah: and he said to Laban, What is this thou hast done unto me? did not I serve with thee for Rachel? wherefore then hast thou beguiled me?
26And Laban said, It must not be so done in our country, to give the younger before the firstborn.
27Fulfil her week, and we will give thee this also for the service which thou shalt serve with me yet seven other years.
28And Jacob did so, and fulfilled her week: and he gave him Rachel his daughter to wife also.
29And Laban gave to Rachel his daughter Bilhah his handmaid to be her maid.
30And he went in also unto Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more than Leah, and served with him yet seven other years.

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Brother Enoch, The kids have been married for the best part of 6 weeks, whats the hold up? We are not getting any younger. It is the girl or is it my idiot son, the boy gets distracted easy.

Brother James,

Remember, that the Lord moves in mysterious ways and at his own pace, not ours. All you have to do is think about Elizabeth as an example. God granted her a child, a son no less and he be John!!, despite her being barren. Remember too, Mary, without even having to endure sexural intercouse delivered to the World, The Lord Jesus Christ Himself!!

As to Elizabeth, Luke 1:1-80 tells the story. to save God's bandwidth though, I will just post a few verses.

Luke 1:6-17

THERE was in the days of Herod, the king of Judaea, a certain priest named Zacharias, of the course of Abia: and his wife was of the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elisabeth.

And they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.

And they had no child, because that Elisabeth was barren, and they both were now well stricken in years.

And it came to pass, that while he executed the priest's office before God in the order of his course,

According to the custom of the priest's office, his lot was to burn incense when he went into the temple of the Lord.

And the whole multitude of the people were praying without at the time of incense.

And there appeared unto him an angel of the Lord standing on the right side of the altar of incense.

And when Zacharias saw him, he was troubled, and fear fell upon him.

But the angel said unto him, Fear not, Zacharias: for thy prayer is heard; and thy wife Elisabeth shall bear thee a son, and thou shalt call his name John.

And thou shalt have joy and gladness; and many shall rejoice at his birth.

For he shall be great in the sight of the Lord, and shall drink neither wine nor strong drink; and he shall be filled with the Holy Ghost, even from his mother's womb.

And many of the children of Israel shall he turn to the Lord their God.

And he shall go before him in the spirit and power of Elias, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just; to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.

So, if anyone is to blame it would be the girl. I am quite sure that a son from your loins would not be at fault here. Perhaps the girl just has to increase her faith in The Lord Jesus Christ and pray with all her heart and soul, especially if she wants a son as a result.

I know you and Brother Enoch are well deserving of grandchildren and rightly so. As such, I suggest you harass the girl at any given opportunity to submit fully to God.

I do hope that helped ease your and also Brother Enoch's mind a little.

YIC,

Sister Phebe.