[Nobar King]

Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy

Blueberries are best!!

According to this moron gothtardwiccan, blackberries are best. Why blackberries? They're not even black. You can't judge berries by their color alone.

I hope all good Christians realize the value of the blueberry, and will chose them over blackberries.

blueberries are wickety wack. The best berry is the blackberry! for some reason blackberries are in season for a week and then the rest of the time they are ridiculously overpriced. I can buy $1 baskets of blueberries but not blackberries. Pisses me off. Raspberries are the worst cause shit always gets stuck in the hole that raspberries leave from the stem and when you wash them you see dead grubs that float out of them. nasty.

[Free At Last]

Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy

Well, that all depends. The Holy Bible states that you should Tithe 10% of your gross earnings.

Lev 27:32 And concerning the tithe of the herd, or of the flock, [even] of whatsoever passeth under the rod, the tenth shall be holy unto the LORD.

Num 18:26 Thus speak unto the Levites, and say unto them, When ye take of the children of Israel the tithes which I have given you from them for your inheritance, then ye shall offer up an heave offering of it for the LORD, [even] a tenth [part] of the tithe.

That is, unless you are poor or destitute. In that case, Jesus says that you need to give everything you have to us.

Mark 12:41 And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much. Mark 12:42 And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing. Mark 12:43 And he called unto him his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury: Mark 12:44 For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living.

Don't worry, Jesus will return whatever you give Him 100 times over. Guaranteed!

We take credit cards and cash (U.S. Dollars). Praise Jesus!

I'll give 20% for now just in case something horrible happens in the future where I'll need some extra money. I can buy Jesus's love in advance, can't I?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy

I'll sign up for BASH, just to be on the safe side. You can never be too careful when the Devil is up to his evil tricks.

How much money must I donate to be accepted by God? I don't him to think I am too stingy with my money like one of those Joos.

Well, that all depends. The Holy Bible states that you should Tithe 10% of your gross earnings.

Lev 27:32 And concerning the tithe of the herd, or of the flock, [even] of whatsoever passeth under the rod, the tenth shall be holy unto the LORD.

Num 18:26 Thus speak unto the Levites, and say unto them, When ye take of the children of Israel the tithes which I have given you from them for your inheritance, then ye shall offer up an heave offering of it for the LORD, [even] a tenth [part] of the tithe.

That is, unless you are poor or destitute. In that case, Jesus says that you need to give everything you have to us.

Mark 12:41 And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much. Mark 12:42 And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing. Mark 12:43 And he called unto him his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury: Mark 12:44 For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living.

Don't worry, Jesus will return whatever you give Him 100 times over. Guaranteed!

We take credit cards and cash (U.S. Dollars). Praise Jesus!

[Free At Last]

Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy

But it sounds like satan is whispering in your ear that slurping on some stranger's tallywacker might be an enjoyable way to spend the afternoon, am I right?

Friend, the most important thing for you is to sign up with Landover Baptists' internationally famous ex-queer program, BASH. We have several ex-sodomites among the normal people in our congregation, thanks to Betty Bowers and her close friend, Jesus.

Click on the Paypal button below and send us your down payment. I'll be praying for you, to get those demons out of your colon.

I'll sign up for BASH, just to be on the safe side. You can never be too careful when the Devil is up to his evil tricks.

How much money must I donate to be accepted by God? I don't him to think I am too stingy with my money like one of those Joos.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy

Well, I've never been with another man before, and I don't have any want to. But I feel that somewhere deep down inside me I have become...corrupted. I want to get it out of me! I want to accept the light of God!

Please! I don't want to die in Sin! I want these evil demons out of me! I'll do whatever it takes! Please! Tell me what I must do!

But it sounds like satan is whispering in your ear that slurping on some stranger's tallywacker might be an enjoyable way to spend the afternoon, am I right?

Friend, the most important thing for you is to sign up with Landover Baptists' internationally famous ex-queer program, BASH. We have several ex-sodomites among the normal people in our congregation, thanks to Betty Bowers and her close friend, Jesus.

Click on the Paypal button below and send us your down payment. I'll be praying for you, to get those demons out of your colon.

[Free At Last]

Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy

Well, are you a queer?

We need to know what sort of perversion these breakfast rolls have lead you to if we are going to help guide you to Christ's Salvation©.

Well, I've never been with another man before, and I don't have any want to. But I feel that somewhere deep down inside me I have become...corrupted. I want to get it out of me! I want to accept the light of God!

Please! I don't want to die in Sin! I want these evil demons out of me! I'll do whatever it takes! Please! Tell me what I must do!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy

Wow, I'm shocked. I never thought about the Pillsbury Doughboy in this way before. I just thought he was a silly mascot, but what you say does make sense. You Landover people really do leave no stone unturned and I'm thankful for you warning me of this smut.

When I was younger my Mother would always make these cinnamon rolls every Saturday morning and I thought it was a tasty treat. Now I know the truth. I really hope it's not too late for me, I can still be saved, right?

Well, are you a queer?

We need to know what sort of perversion these breakfast rolls have lead you to if we are going to help guide you to Christ's Salvation©.

[Free At Last]

Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy

The Pillsbury Doughboy, or Poppin' Fresh, has much to giggle about. Over the decades he has turned scores of decent American boys into depraved Sodomites. He has made batch after batch of homosexuals for his master, Satan, and his secret ingredient is parental apathy.



No one can refute that the Doughboy is gay. His dainty little scarf, the effeminate way he swivels his hips, his girly voice--all of this makes him the most conspicuously gay icon in the history of advertising. He makes Little Debbie look like the Marlboro Man. In the seventies, advertising geniuses gave him a wife, Poppie. The idea was so laughable that Poppie was dropped quicker than a Negro's trousers when he has a white woman alone.



It's obvious the makers of Pillsbury products have a homosexual agenda even without taking their mascot into account. Their packaging is disturbingly phallic. They are as obsessed with tallywackers as Georgia O'Keeffe was with cooters.



Friends, I don't know what the name "Poppin' Fresh" means. It is probably gay slang, and it more than likely has something to do with the anus. I do know that at the end of Pillsbury Doughboy commercials, the little homer is typically poked with a giant finger, another phallic symbol.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...arch&plindex=6

Brothers and Sisters of Christ, keep this insiduous product far from your homes. Don't let the Doughboy's next victim be your child.

Wow, I'm shocked. I never thought about the Pillsbury Doughboy in this way before. I just thought he was a silly mascot, but what you say does make sense. You Landover people really do leave no stone unturned and I'm thankful for you warning me of this smut.

When I was younger my Mother would always make these cinnamon rolls every Saturday morning and I thought it was a tasty treat. Now I know the truth. I really hope it's not too late for me, I can still be saved, right?

[JennyD]

Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy

Mr. Hatchet, are those condoms wearing boxing gloves?!

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy

Here is yet another example of General Mills attempting to turn decent American boys into tallywacker-craving fiends:



I am not entirely certain what "pac-man" means, but the character bears a strong resemblance to a testicle. Note how the "c" and the hyphen in the product's name is made to look like a pac-man servicing a tallywacker. There is also an obsession with the pac-man's proportions. Apparently a normal-sized tallywacker will not do. No, they tout how "everything about pac-man is big," and that his tallywacker comes--I apologize for the juxtaposition of the two previous words--in a "new larger size." Lastly, four brightly-colored condoms adorn the box, which clearly advocates homosexual relations. Revolting and shameless. There will be a special place in Hell for those who concocted this Satanic queereal.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy

Brother Temperance, I would like your permission to begin using "queereal," although such a clever and wonderfully concise word more than likely came from the Holy Spirit.

Brother, as long as you're confident it won't get you sued by General Mills for copyright infrigement, be my guest.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy

Brother Temperance, I would like your permission to begin using "queereal," although such a clever and wonderfully concise word more than likely came from the Holy Spirit.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy

The reason I asked if it was me or the Doughboy was the devil is that if I assumed you meant it was me someone would have pointed out that it never said me specificly and that I have a guilty consience.

What? What have you got a guilty conscience about? Is it the case that even a hippo as sneaky as you can't defend queer cereals (queereals?) without feeling bad about it?

Why would General Mills want to turn children gay? Everyone likes cinnimon rolls regardless of sexual orientation so it wouldn't do much to help buisiness. Or are you suggesting that Satan founded General Mills and it using pastries to corrupt the nations children.

Does that really sound so implausible?

I don't see how me saying that the doughboy is meant to remind people of a baby makes me a sicko.

No, it's the fact that you find babies attractive that makes you a sicko, you sick sod!

I know that you all hate homosexuals and believe that they are trying to corrupt children but that's only more reason to understand them. If you don't understand their "evil" how can you avoid it?

And that is exactly what Old Man Hatchet was so valiantly trying to do before you flounced in here and started trying to queer the issue!

If you look at the orange part of this toucan's beak near the mouth you shall see that it does somewhat resemble a butt.

What? How could you possibly get an anus out of that? You are sick and twisted! Why must you try and read filth into a perfectly innocent bird's beak? What's wrong with you?

As if the name "Twinkles" wasn't gay enough, General Mills decided to offer a "tutti-fruiti" variety.



Any parents that purchased this vile breakfast food for their sons might as well have shoved tallywackers up their little backsides as well.

I dread to think of the injuries that must have resulted from children attempting to emulate that gay blade's fruit-spurting antics.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy

General Mills used to make this heinous cereal:



As if the name "Twinkles" wasn't gay enough, General Mills decided to offer a "tutti-fruiti" variety.



Any parents that purchased this vile breakfast food for their sons might as well have shoved tallywackers up their little backsides as well.

[Dr. Zaius]

Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy

Here's one of the early artifacts of cereal perversion:


Kinda sounds like an oxymormon, but you know what that cream refers to, besides gelato.