Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

Sounds great! Where can I get this OS, I need to keep that unholy trash off my computer.

Sorry, it's for True Christians(tm) only.

[Dr. Boob]

Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

I know what you're trying to tell us. We are'nt ignorant hicks you know. We are fully aware of the dangers on the internets. That's why we True Christians™ are protected by the JesOS Operating System®.

Sounds great! Where can I get this OS, I need to keep that unholy trash off my computer.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

I never said I use it that way, but most phones can connect to the internet. And we all know what the internet is full of...

I know what you're trying to tell us. We are'nt ignorant hicks you know. We are fully aware of the dangers on the internets. That's why we True Christians(tm) are protected by the JesOS Operating System(r).

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

I never said I use it that way, but most phones can connect to the internet. And we all know what the internet is full of...

Why would I use the phone to connect to the Internet? That's what a computer is for. I couldn't imagine trying to read the knowledge on here on a silly little 3" screen.

[Dr. Boob]

Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

...Jesus?

On this site it is!

Sadly, that's not true for the rest of the internet.

[Nobar King]

Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

...Jesus?

[Dr. Boob]

Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

Who are you calling?

I use mine for contacting my husband and emergency services.

I never said I use it that way, but most phones can connect to the internet. And we all know what the internet is full of...

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

Cell Phones- The perfect portal to Satan's messages.

Who are you calling?

I use mine for contacting my husband and emergency services.

[Nobar King]

Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

As much as I love flashlights, I've come to realize that they're part of a sinister sexual agenda. It should have been obvious to me, considering the size and shape of the Maglite, but now I know a lot more about the perverted appeal of these phallic objects.

Only men should read this thread: "Lights you sleep with"

[Dr. Boob]

Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

Cell Phones- The perfect portal to Satan's messages.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Brothers and Sisters,

Please help me compile a list of every day items we need to take heed of.

Some things in our daily lives could inadvertently send us to HELL or give us a nasty case of demon infestation!

Before I start the list I want to warn you all that anything you pick up from a garage sale, flea market or "World" stores such as Cost Plus World Market or Pier One will probably have demons attached to them. When you are shopping at these "World" Markets you need to know that most of the items were made by chinks in Bangledesh or China. The gooks are known to cast spells and hexes on things they are making for their betters in the good ole US.

NEVER BUY USED ITEMS! You are just inviting demons into your home. If one of those demons gets into your colon you could become GAY!

Now on to the list.

Unicorns - in any form IE, doll, ceramic etc.

Cupie Dolls (They are cute versions of a very powerful demon)

Frogs (they invite swamp demons into your home)

Tupperware that is that ugly avocado green color (see frogs)

Red Mushrooms (with the white dots on them they are powerful hallucinagenic drugs)

Gnomes (they are demons just waiting to be brought into your home so they can come to life)

Rosary Beads (Satan's Sex Toy)

Gamer Joysticks (they are really an attena for demons)

Stuffed animals (Children use them to hump on and give them animated voices, which attracts demons)



Also it is not a good decision to accept anything that is not food gifts (IE pies, cakes, casseroles) from people you don't know that well.

I knew a sister who was given a set of dresser drawers that was demonized. The demon escaped and caused all kinds of HELL in that household. Items went missing (her clothes), her husband turned into a homer and her kids started to listen to rock and roll music and wanted to eat demonic foods such as Count Dracula cereal and Quaker Oates Oatmeal. For those who are curious what finally happened, the dresser was burned, the demon was cast out in the name of JESUS. The kids returned to normal but the husband remained a homer and is not living in the house. Personally, I think a few of the demons that were cast out are still hiding in his colon.

Anyway, Please add your items on the list of Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!