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  • Daisy Mae Johnson
    The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
    Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
    aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 15708

    #1

    Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

    Brothers and Sisters,

    Please help me compile a list of every day items we need to take heed of.

    Some things in our daily lives could inadvertently send us to HELL or give us a nasty case of demon infestation!

    Before I start the list I want to warn you all that anything you pick up from a garage sale, flea market or "World" stores such as Cost Plus World Market or Pier One will probably have demons attached to them. When you are shopping at these "World" Markets you need to know that most of the items were made by chinks in Bangledesh or China. The gooks are known to cast spells and hexes on things they are making for their betters in the good ole US.

    NEVER BUY USED ITEMS! You are just inviting demons into your home. If one of those demons gets into your colon you could become GAY!

    Now on to the list.

    Unicorns - in any form IE, doll, ceramic etc.

    Cupie Dolls (They are cute versions of a very powerful demon)

    Frogs (they invite swamp demons into your home)

    Tupperware that is that ugly avocado green color (see frogs)

    Red Mushrooms (with the white dots on them they are powerful hallucinagenic drugs)

    Gnomes (they are demons just waiting to be brought into your home so they can come to life)

    Rosary Beads (Satan's Sex Toy)

    Gamer Joysticks (they are really an attena for demons)

    Stuffed animals (Children use them to hump on and give them animated voices, which attracts demons)



    Also it is not a good decision to accept anything that is not food gifts (IE pies, cakes, casseroles) from people you don't know that well.

    I knew a sister who was given a set of dresser drawers that was demonized. The demon escaped and caused all kinds of HELL in that household. Items went missing (her clothes), her husband turned into a homer and her kids started to listen to rock and roll music and wanted to eat demonic foods such as Count Dracula cereal and Quaker Oates Oatmeal. For those who are curious what finally happened, the dresser was burned, the demon was cast out in the name of JESUS. The kids returned to normal but the husband remained a homer and is not living in the house. Personally, I think a few of the demons that were cast out are still hiding in his colon.

    Anyway, Please add your items on the list of Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!
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  • Dr. Boob
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    • Jan 2011
    • 54

    #2
    Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

    Cell Phones- The perfect portal to Satan's messages.

    Comment

    • Nobar King
      Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
      Christ's Guardian
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2007
      • 23748

      #3
      Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

      As much as I love flashlights, I've come to realize that they're part of a sinister sexual agenda. It should have been obvious to me, considering the size and shape of the Maglite, but now I know a lot more about the perverted appeal of these phallic objects.

      Only men should read this thread: "Lights you sleep with"
      May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

      Comment

      • BelieverInGod
        Fourm Member
        Forum Member
        • Feb 2010
        • 9269

        #4
        Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

        Originally posted by Dr. Boob View Post
        Cell Phones- The perfect portal to Satan's messages.
        Who are you calling?

        I use mine for contacting my husband and emergency services.
        Drama queen

        Comment

        • Dr. Boob
          Confirmed Enemy of God
          • Jan 2011
          • 54

          #5
          Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

          Originally posted by BelieverInGod View Post
          Who are you calling?

          I use mine for contacting my husband and emergency services.
          I never said I use it that way, but most phones can connect to the internet. And we all know what the internet is full of...

          Comment

          • Nobar King
            Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
            Christ's Guardian
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2007
            • 23748

            #6
            Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

            ...Jesus?
            May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

            Comment

            • Dr. Boob
              Confirmed Enemy of God
              • Jan 2011
              • 54

              #7
              Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

              Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
              ...Jesus?
              On this site it is!

              Sadly, that's not true for the rest of the internet.

              Comment

              • BelieverInGod
                Fourm Member
                Forum Member
                • Feb 2010
                • 9269

                #8
                Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

                Originally posted by Dr. Boob View Post
                I never said I use it that way, but most phones can connect to the internet. And we all know what the internet is full of...
                Why would I use the phone to connect to the Internet? That's what a computer is for. I couldn't imagine trying to read the knowledge on here on a silly little 3" screen.
                Drama queen

                Comment

                • Pastor Ezekiel
                  Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                   
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 78555

                  #9
                  Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

                  Originally posted by Dr. Boob View Post
                  I never said I use it that way, but most phones can connect to the internet. And we all know what the internet is full of...
                  I know what you're trying to tell us. We are'nt ignorant hicks you know. We are fully aware of the dangers on the internets. That's why we True Christians(tm) are protected by the JesOS Operating System(r).
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment

                  • Dr. Boob
                    Confirmed Enemy of God
                    • Jan 2011
                    • 54

                    #10
                    Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                    I know what you're trying to tell us. We are'nt ignorant hicks you know. We are fully aware of the dangers on the internets. That's why we True Christians™ are protected by the JesOS Operating System®.
                    Sounds great! Where can I get this OS, I need to keep that unholy trash off my computer.

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78555

                      #11
                      Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

                      Originally posted by Dr. Boob View Post
                      Sounds great! Where can I get this OS, I need to keep that unholy trash off my computer.
                      Sorry, it's for True Christians(tm) only.
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment

                      • Godsgrace
                        True Christian™
                        True Christian™
                        • Dec 2010
                        • 228

                        #12
                        Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

                        Originally posted by Dr. Boob View Post
                        Sounds great! Where can I get this OS, I need to keep that unholy trash off my computer.
                        Why would you have unholy trash on your computer??
                        sigpic
                        Psalm 109:8
                        Let his days be few; and let another take his office.

                        Comment

                        • Daisy Mae Johnson
                          The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                          Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                          aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 15708

                          #13
                          Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

                          Adding to the list

                          Digital Clocks. Firstly they are electronic so they send out little sounds to attract demons and more importantly they glow in the dark like a lighthouse guiding the demon to your bedroom or whatever room you have them in the house.




                          If you have one of these, I advise you to take it in the back yard and smash it to bits and then burn the pieces.
                          Last edited by Felicity; 01-31-2011, 01:36 PM.
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                          • Daisy Mae Johnson
                            The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                            Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                            aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                            True Christian™
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 15708

                            #14
                            Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

                            Curling Irons. They are also electronic and send little noises out to invite demons into your home. They are also phallic shaped ... and that is disgusting. Homers are known curling iron lovers. Hair dresser... homers. You do the math.
                            sigpic

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                            My GODLY Bio Here

                            Comment

                            • ThePathetic
                              Confirmed Enemy of God
                              BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                              • Jan 2011
                              • 6

                              #15
                              Re: Every Day Items that can Send you to HELL!!

                              Guns when used for the WRONG reasons. Hunting and self defense being the exception.

                              Comment

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