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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78552

    #16
    Re: Advertising Mascots That I Find Offensive

    I'd like to emphasize Godly product lines like Jimmy Dean, a little-known True Christian™ from back in the good old days...


    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • Old Man Hatchet
      Super Moderator
      Beloved Church Elder
      World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 2084

      #17
      Re: Advertising Mascots That I Find Offensive

      Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
      Brother Hatchett, I don't know if this image falls under the category of this thread, but I was interested in your interpretation of it:
      An injun riding a pig is disgusting, and "snapper" is slang for cooter. File this product under "b" for boycott. You don't want to know my interpretation of your spelling of my name.

      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
      Brother Hatchet, an old nemises of yours has been caught RED handed, imposing itself on an otherwise reasonable ladies cooking program...

      Stellar work as usual, Pastor. Further evidence that McDonald's is trying to brainwash us. I am outraged and hungry for a McChicken.

      Comment

      • Nobar King
        Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
        Christ's Guardian
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2007
        • 23748

        #18
        Re: Advertising Mascots That I Find Offensive

        Sorry for my oversight. I, too, am disgusted by the OTHER Hatchett, and I will be more aware of the spelling difference from now on.
        May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

        Comment

        • Mrs. Mary Whitford
          Ladies of Landover Senior VP
          One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
          Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
          True Christian™
          • Dec 2006
          • 12414

          #19
          Re: Advertising Mascots That I Find Offensive

          No comment on this temptress sow or leering buck...



          Posted via Prayer

          1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
          Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

          Blogging for CHRIST!
          Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
          All a-Twitter for Salvation!
          Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
          On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
          My Ladies of Landover profile!

          Comment

          • Old Man Hatchet
            Super Moderator
            Beloved Church Elder
            World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 2084

            #20
            Re: Advertising Mascots That I Find Offensive

            Originally posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
            No comment on this temptress sow or leering buck...



            Aunt Jemima is just how I like my Negroes--submissive and serving pancakes. And Uncle Ben seems like the type who wouldn't raise a fuss if he were thrashed for serving undercooked rice, not like that colored boy at Bob Evans last week.

            Comment

            • Brother Temperance
              Senior Usher
              True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
              A very nice young man
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 15621

              #21
              Re: Advertising Mascots That I Find Offensive

              Originally posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
              The Dutch Boy



              One word: gay. Two more words: big time.
              What on earth does the Dutch Boy advertise? Marijuana? Prostitutes?
              Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
              That Chicken of the Sea mermaid alone has done incapable mischief here in Freehold among the young men. Going by the number of calls we get in church security being spiritually violated by that fish tailed succubus almost seems like a right of passage among young men. Even a good mother like Sister Bible Thumbing Blonde had deal with her own son being tempted by incest by proxy by that cartoon harlot.

              Look at that knowing smile on that mermaid. She is mocking us!
              And she encourages the development of human-animal hybrid fetuses.
              Originally posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post
              One of the worst offenders is Peter Pan Peanut Butter. Now we all know what "Peter" stands for, but few are aware that "Pan" stands for the pan flute in the original character created by Scottish novelist and playwright J. M. Barrie.
              Oh, I thought it was a direct reference to the ancient Greek goat-demon.
              Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
              Brother Hatchett, I don't know if this image falls under the category of this thread, but I was interested in your interpretation of it:
              Who thought it would be a good idea to advertise a product with a picture of MooHamMad?
              O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



              God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

              Comment

              • Old Man Hatchet
                Super Moderator
                Beloved Church Elder
                World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2006
                • 2084

                #22
                Re: Advertising Mascots That I Find Offensive

                The Scrubbing Bubbles Scrub Brush



                This mascot "works hard so you don't have to." Well, guess what? I don't have to. My wife does. Strenuous chores keep housewives out of mischief, so cut the women's liberation crap, Scrubbing Bubbles Scrub Brush. Now I have to dirty more skivvies so she can make use of that extra hour of free time.

                Also, I don't care for how this little deviant lurks in the shower.


                Mr. Peanut



                Spats. White gloves. Cane. Hand on his hip. We get it--he's gay. Mr. Peanut also looks like a tallywacker. Just for good measure, Planters gave him a monocle to create the effect of one eye, enhancing his resemblance to a tallywacker.
                Last edited by Old Man Hatchet; 04-19-2008, 08:56 PM. Reason: Fixed typo.

                Comment

                • Nobar King
                  Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                  Christ's Guardian
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2007
                  • 23748

                  #23
                  Re: Advertising Mascots That I Find Offensive

                  Brewers Add Chorizo to Sausage Race
                  Milwaukee Brewers add chorizo, also known as 'El Picanre' and 'Cinco,' to popular sausage race


                  I imagine this is a popular event on 'gay day at the park', but not as popular with the lesbian crowd. Where are the running crabs?
                  May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                  Comment

                  • Pastor Rune Enoe
                    Apostle of the North
                     
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 11679

                    #24
                    Re: Chicken of the Sea Mermaid and Other Mascots That Offend Me

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                    Let me direct your attention to one of our few success stories: Little Miss Coppertone - drawn by renowned Lezbian Joyce Ballantyne and thus incorporating lezbianism, pedophilia, zoophilia and sodomy.

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                    However, the part that most disturbed the pastors was the detailed rendering of her derriere - a great and ample divide that might make any well-nourished plumber green with envy.

                    A few years ago, we therefore decided to send a crack team (if you'll pardon the expression) of lobbyists to the CEO of Schering-Plough HealthCare Products Inc. The result speaks for itself, the Miss Coppertone of the 21st Century has only one single buttock:

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                    Who says it doesn't pay to complain?
                    A wise man’s heart inclines him to the right, but a fool’s heart to the left. (Ecclesiastes 10:2)

                    Comment

                    • SUV
                      True Christian™ Princess
                      The Driving Force behind RA12
                      Have at it, anytime!
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 11027

                      #25
                      Re: Chicken of the Sea Mermaid and Other Mascots That Offend Me



                      And just wait for the God-less athians to try to blame it on "Fundament-a-lism"

                      Comment

                      • Silent Wench
                        Unsaved trash
                         
                        • Apr 2008
                        • 28

                        #26
                        Re: Advertising Mascots That I Find Offensive

                        Originally posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
                        You are most certainly not. Nobody here wants to fornicate with you, fruitcake. Make one more lurid pass, and I will ban you just as surely as you enjoy Broadway musicals.
                        I don't understand what's wrong with Broadway Musicals. And what in the bloody hell is the fornication line about? I don't understand what's going on in here at all, I think.
                        Howdy.

                        Comment

                        • Mrs. Mary Whitford
                          Ladies of Landover Senior VP
                          One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
                          Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
                          True Christian™
                          • Dec 2006
                          • 12414

                          #27
                          Re: Advertising Mascots That I Find Offensive

                          Originally posted by Silent Wench View Post
                          I don't understand what's wrong with Broadway Musicals. And what in the bloody hell is the fornication line about? I don't understand what's going on in here at all, I think.
                          Oh, if only you could live up to your name, you wouldn't write such foolishness. There are many things that could turn a young boy into a raging sissy - video games, comic books, Saturday morning cartoons, professional wrestling to name a few - but there are five things that are 100% guaranteed to turn a boy away from Jesus and into a sodomite bath house. Fashion design, floral arranging, hair styling, dancing, and Broadway musicals. There isn't a single real man in the world who could stomach watching trash like Cats or Rent, but sodomites swoon over these things and are the only people other than the butchest dykes who are willing to play the "male" parts in the abominations.
                          Posted via Prayer

                          1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
                          Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

                          Blogging for CHRIST!
                          Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
                          All a-Twitter for Salvation!
                          Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
                          On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
                          My Ladies of Landover profile!

                          Comment

                          • Silent Wench
                            Unsaved trash
                             
                            • Apr 2008
                            • 28

                            #28
                            Re: Chicken of the Sea Mermaid and Other Mascots That Offend Me

                            AHHHHH. I see now mate. It's ok for the gal folk to like the live show, though, right? I'm a "drama nerd" as it were.
                            Howdy.

                            Comment

                            • JennyD
                              Honorary True Christian™
                              Sweet Placid Sister
                              Forum Member
                              • Dec 2007
                              • 9567

                              #29
                              Re: Chicken of the Sea Mermaid and Other Mascots That Offend Me

                              Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                              What on earth does the Dutch Boy advertise? Marijuana? Prostitutes?
                              Lesbians, of course. Little Dutch boys like to stick their fingers in dykes.
                              And she encourages the development of human-animal hybrid fetuses.
                              Godly President Bush was right AGAIN!!
                              www.palibandaily.com - Your Christian News Source
                              Huckabee/Palin Gingrich 2012 will reclaim America for Christ! PRAISE!

                              Christian Ladies:
                              Savor your separation in style at the Monthly Visitor!

                              Comment

                              • Wide-Open
                                Director of European Evangelical Outreach
                                A Shining Example of Christ's Love
                                Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
                                True Christian™
                                • Nov 2007
                                • 18449

                                #30
                                Re: Chicken of the Sea Mermaid and Other Mascots That Offend Me

                                Originally posted by JennyD View Post
                                Lesbians, of course. Little Dutch boys like to stick their fingers in dykes.
                                That's supposedly to stop their flood.

                                The mermaid thing reminded me of this abomination:

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                                You may have seen this before, but if that is not a giant throbbing tallywhacker pointed towards the little harlot I don't know what is.
                                Psalm 81:10:
                                I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
                                open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

                                Comment

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