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  • lukasekman
    True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Mar 2011
    • 614
    #1

    Threw a kid overboard

    Today, I took my kids and some friends on an excursion with my yacht. Unfortunately, there was a guy who was obviously liberal parented. He complained about how I steered the boat, and whined about that I went too fast. Proverbs 16:9 is clear that there is no such thing as dangerous driving. As there is only place for one man to steer a boat, I had no reasonable option but to throw the annoying kid overboard.

    The rest of the trip went fine, and nothing distracted the rest from Bible studies.

    sigpicCorporal Punishment Advisor, U.S. Department of Family Values
    Cyber-bullying Instructor, Christian Commission on Human Rights
    ★ Apple CEO is gay - Important DFV security considerations
    ★ Higgs field theory disproved - Universe is a cotton field
    ★ Viagra forces man to have his penis amputated
    Tags: lieberals
    • James Hutchins
      True Christian™
      Just a Regular Nice Guy
       
      • Jun 2009
      • 29453
      #2
      Re: Threw a kid overboard

      Did you catch any fish? That would please Jesus.
      Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
      Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
      Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
      Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
      Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
      Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

        Comment

        • Billy Bob Jenkins
          Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
          About as Straight and Manly as you can get
          Hates anal sex. And trees.
          True Christian™
          • May 2010
          • 8337
          #3
          Re: Threw a kid overboard

          Sometimes the captain of a ship has to make difficult decisions. I'm glad you weren't faced with any.
          The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

            Comment

            • lukasekman
              True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Mar 2011
              • 614
              #4
              Re: Threw a kid overboard

              Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
              Did you catch any fish? That would please Jesus.
              Yes, we got some fish, and enjoyed a delicate dinner after our trip.

              sigpicCorporal Punishment Advisor, U.S. Department of Family Values
              Cyber-bullying Instructor, Christian Commission on Human Rights
              ★ Apple CEO is gay - Important DFV security considerations
              ★ Higgs field theory disproved - Universe is a cotton field
              ★ Viagra forces man to have his penis amputated

                Comment

                • James Hutchins
                  True Christian™
                  Just a Regular Nice Guy
                   
                  • Jun 2009
                  • 29453
                  #5
                  Re: Threw a kid overboard

                  Originally posted by lukasekman View Post
                  Yes, we got some fish, and enjoyed a delicate dinner after our trip.
                  Wonderful! Not a lot better than a fishing trip and a meal with Christians. Next time we are at dinner in Landover, let me tell you about the recent fishing expidition I was on with a few of the LBC Pastors.
                  Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                  Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                  Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                  Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                  Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                  Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78556
                      #6
                      Re: Threw a kid overboard

                      Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                      Wonderful! Not a lot better than a fishing trip and a meal with Christians. Next time we are at dinner in Landover, let me tell you about the recent fishing expidition I was on with a few of the LBC Pastors.
                      Tell the clean version of that story, Please, brother.
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                        Comment

                        • Jm Cary
                          Unsaved trash
                          • Jun 2013
                          • 13
                          #7
                          Re: Threw a kid overboard

                          Ahem, Exodus 20:13. You should not have threw the kid overboard

                            Comment

                            • James Hutchins
                              True Christian™
                              Just a Regular Nice Guy
                               
                              • Jun 2009
                              • 29453
                              #8
                              Re: Threw a kid overboard

                              Originally posted by Just An Account View Post
                              Ahem, Exodus 20:13. You should not have threw the kid overboard
                              No friend, perhaps you should actually read the Bible. Brother lukasekman was relating Jonah and the Whale where in those marvelous true first person accounts of personal triumph and love of God, we are taught he meaning of obedience as is the theme of Jonah and the Whale.
                              Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                              Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                              Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                              Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                              Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                              Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                                Comment

                                • Dr Laurence Niles
                                  Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
                                   
                                  • Jan 2012
                                  • 9063
                                  #9
                                  Re: Threw a kid overboard

                                  Originally posted by Just An Account View Post
                                  Ahem, Exodus 20:13. You should not have threw the kid overboard
                                  How very rude. What makes you think anybody died? If only you had the Love of Christ inside of you would understand what happened.

                                  Acts 2:38 Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

                                  Have you even read the Bible?

                                  YIC
                                  1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                                  Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

                                  Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

                                    Comment

                                    • Des
                                      True Christian™
                                      True Christian™
                                      • Jun 2013
                                      • 2718
                                      #10
                                      Re: Threw a kid overboard

                                      Originally posted by Just An Account View Post
                                      Ahem, Exodus 20:13. You should not have threw the kid overboard
                                      Read your Bible, unrepentant sinner.

                                      Proverbs 22:10 Cast out the scorner, and contention shall go out; yea, strife and reproach shall cease.

                                      Glory onto Him.
                                      Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

                                        Comment

                                        • Deaner
                                          Christ's Love Messenger
                                          True Christian™
                                          • Sep 2006
                                          • 5932
                                          #11
                                          Re: Threw a kid overboard

                                          Originally posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post
                                          How very rude. What makes you think anybody died?
                                          YIC
                                          Brilliant point Brother Niles. Who said anyone was killed?

                                          Just an Account. Should be "Just another atheist jerk here to drive us peaceful Christians nuts".

                                            Comment

                                            • Jm Cary
                                              Unsaved trash
                                              • Jun 2013
                                              • 13
                                              #12
                                              Re: Threw a kid overboard

                                              Sorry, I admit that I am wrong. the kid probably did not die when you threw him overboard, But has he ever been found?

                                                Comment

                                                • Dr Laurence Niles
                                                  Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
                                                   
                                                  • Jan 2012
                                                  • 9063
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: Threw a kid overboard

                                                  Originally posted by Just An Account View Post
                                                  Sorry, I admit that I am wrong. the kid probably did not die when you threw him overboard, But has he ever been found?
                                                  But again, this is your a priori assumptions clouding your judgement.

                                                  Who is claiming he was lost?

                                                  YIC
                                                  1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                                                  Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

                                                  Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Jm Cary
                                                      Unsaved trash
                                                      • Jun 2013
                                                      • 13
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: Threw a kid overboard

                                                      Originally posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post
                                                      But again, this is your a priori assumptions clouding your judgement.

                                                      Who is claiming he was lost?

                                                      YIC
                                                      After he was thrown overboard, was he retrieved? Like, was he gotten back?

                                                        Comment

                                                        • James Hutchins
                                                          True Christian™
                                                          Just a Regular Nice Guy
                                                           
                                                          • Jun 2009
                                                          • 29453
                                                          #15
                                                          Re: Threw a kid overboard

                                                          Originally posted by Just An Account View Post
                                                          After he was thrown overboard, was he retrieved? Like, was he gotten back?
                                                          Friend, children are not tennis balls.

                                                          If the child (or any person) loves Jesus and has given themselves completely and honestly to Christ, He will Save(r) them.

                                                          Tell me friend, how much Faith have you got?
                                                          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                                                          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                                                          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                                                          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                                                          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                                                          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                                                            Comment

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