[Brother V]

Re: Did Mary beat Jesus?

Excellent point, V! I imagine that whole bright star, wise men, angels and glory thing was blocked out of their feeble little minds, as it was all too distressing and bizarre for a carpenter and his wife to comprehend.

Let's look closer into this story.

1. They go to temple.

2. Mary and Joe leave, thinking Jesus was leaving with them (in the group of friends)

3. Mary and Joe walk for a day, before realizing "hey, where's our Lord and Personal Saviour".

4. They ask around, "have you seen Jesus? No, anyone seen Jesus? Where's Jesus? JESUS CHRIST WHERE ARE YOU?"

5. They have to walk a full day BACK to Jerusalem.

6. (Verse 46 is kind of tricky) They looked for 3 days, was this three days from when they first didn't see him, or was it for 3 days looking around in the temple? Was Jesus gone for a total of 3 days or for 5 days? Either way, Joe (a carpenter) probably was losing a lot of patience for the child he was rearing. (Aren't step fathers always like that?)

7. (Verse 48) Mary says your father and I were worried. Joseph at this moment was probably thinking "don't you call him MY child, woman!!!"

8. As they are leaving, Joseph probably said something like this to Mary. "Mary, damnit, you'd better teach that child of YOUR'S some discipline, or next time he acts up I'M gonna beat his ass! If you don't spank him in the next 5 minutes, I'm gonna do it, and you can bet your sweet "immaculate conception" ass that when I get through with him, he'll wish he was strung up by the Romans!" (a bit of foreshadowing)


So Mary probably spanked Jesus pretty good on that trip back from Jerusalem.


After 3 or 5 days of looking for the child, the whole wise men thing, shepherds and the rest was probably a distant memory.

At least that's my take on the story.

V

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Re: Did Mary beat Jesus?

Excellent point, V! I imagine that whole bright star, wise men, angels and glory thing was blocked out of their feeble little minds, as it was all too distressing and bizarre for a carpenter and his wife to comprehend.

I tell you, I have no idea what these Shylocks are thinking. A week after the birth, Mary went to the temple with two doves:

Luke 2:22 And when the days of her purification according to the law of Moses were accomplished, they brought him to Jerusalem, to present him to the Lord;
Luke 2:23 (As it is written in the law of the Lord, Every male that openeth the womb shall be called holy to the Lord; )
Luke 2:24 And to offer a sacrifice according to that which is said in the law of the Lord, A pair of turtledoves, or two young pigeons.


This is supposed to be according to the Law of Moses:


Leviticus 12:2 Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If a woman have conceived seed, and born a man child: then she shall be unclean seven days; according to the days of the separation for her infirmity shall she be unclean.
[. . .]
Leviticus 12:6 And when the days of her purifying are fulfilled, for a son, or for a daughter, she shall bring a lamb of the first year for a burnt offering, and a young pigeon, or a turtledove, for a sin offering, unto the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, unto the priest:
[. . .]
Leviticus 12:8 And if she be not able to bring a lamb, then she shall bring two turtles, or two young pigeons; the one for the burnt offering, and the other for a sin offering: and the priest shall make an atonement for her, and she shall be clean.


That's sacrilege. For crying out: Why would Mary need a sin offering for having birthed Our Redeemer? Is that supposed to be a sin? Why would she need to be made "clean" after the unstained virginal conception?

These hook-nosed money-grabbers will do anything for a shiny shekel. They'll even deny the virgin birth, just to flimflam two pigeons out of a naive and unsuspecting Jewess.

[Tyrone Shoelaces]

Re: Did Mary beat Jesus?

I know you will give me crap for this, but Catholics believe that Jesus did not start preaching until he was around 30 or something. He was a completely normal human until then.

[Jesus is Lord]

Re: Did Mary beat Jesus?

I know you will give me crap for this, but Catholics believe that Jesus did not start preaching until he was around 30 or something. He was a completely normal human until then.

Completely normal? How can the SON OF GOD ever have been completely normal? There is nothing normal about one's father being THE FATHER. For one thing, normal back then was being a hook-nosed joo and we all know that JESUS was no joo.

HE may or may not have started preaching until around 30 or so, I don't know. If HE started preaching at 3 or 30 does not matter. Just because HE may have been 30 doesn't mean HE was normal before then.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Did Mary beat Jesus?

I know you will give me crap for this, but Catholics believe that Jesus did not start preaching until he was around 30 or something. He was a completely normal human until then.

The catlickers also teach that Jesus' mommy is "the queen of heaven" and that we should worship her and pray to her. I would defy anyone to back that up with scripture.

The list of perversions taught by the mary-worshipers is endless. That is precisely why NO ONE in the Christian community considers catlickers to be Christian. Even the looney Lootherans acknowledge that catlickers are a cult, and nothing more.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Did Mary beat Jesus?

I know you will give me crap for this, but Catholics believe that Jesus did not start preaching until he was around 30 or something. He was a completely normal human until then.

Yet another instance of the Cat-oholics ignoring the Bible. Specifically Luke, chapter 2:

40And the child grew, and waxed strong in spirit, filled with wisdom: and the grace of God was upon him.

41Now his parents went to Jerusalem every year at the feast of the passover.
42And when he was twelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem after the custom of the feast.
43And when they had fulfilled the days, as they returned, the child Jesus tarried behind in Jerusalem; and Joseph and his mother knew not of it.
44But they, supposing him to have been in the company, went a day's journey; and they sought him among their kinsfolk and acquaintance.
45And when they found him not, they turned back again to Jerusalem, seeking him.
46And it came to pass, that after three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions. 47And all that heard him were astonished at his understanding and answers.

If He was asking questions and giving answers, He was debating. Not like a "normal human" at all.

This kind of nonsense (your statement above) is what happens when you let Father Feelgood tell you what to believe, instead of READING THE KJV1611 FOR YOURSELF.

You end up believing lies, and burning in Hell. Allow me to illustrate:

Tyrone --> <-- me illustrating

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Did Mary beat Jesus?

Yet another instance of the Cat-oholics ignoring the Bible. Specifically Luke, chapter 2:

40And the child grew, and waxed strong in spirit, filled with wisdom: and the grace of God was upon him.

41Now his parents went to Jerusalem every year at the feast of the passover.
42And when he was twelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem after the custom of the feast.
43And when they had fulfilled the days, as they returned, the child Jesus tarried behind in Jerusalem; and Joseph and his mother knew not of it.
44But they, supposing him to have been in the company, went a day's journey; and they sought him among their kinsfolk and acquaintance.
45And when they found him not, they turned back again to Jerusalem, seeking him.
46And it came to pass, that after three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions. 47And all that heard him were astonished at his understanding and answers.

If He was asking questions and giving answers, He was debating. Not like a "normal human" at all.

I'd say he was discussing, or teaching, or learning and teaching at the same time or anything... I definitely can't see Jesus debating. We all know what God thinks of debate.