Did Mary beat Jesus?

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

The question is a bit embarrassing. I stumbled over this terrible painting by Max Ernst, where a muscular Mary is beating Our Lord so hard that His little buttocks and thighs are turning red.



Mary hasn't lost her halo, so according to Max Ernst she hasn't lost her divinity, but then again, what does a homosexual Frenchman know?

Still, it got me wondering. Was Jesus ever naughty as a child. Did Mary have to beat the fear of God into the infant God? Let me hear what you think.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Did Mary beat Jesus?

I voted the only possible choice! In the homer painting, Baby Jesus has Lost His halo, an impossibility I am certain!

[SUV]

Re: Did Mary beat Jesus?

Well, if she didn't, she should have! "Suffer the Children" and all that.

Then again, could this lowly woman have had license, somehow, to beat our (Male) Lord and Saviour?!!

God Jesus - I am so confused. I'm so happy that it's Christmas and that this is all that America has on its collective "mind" Right now!!!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Did Mary beat Jesus?

Who is Mary to have the audacity to beat the Saviour of Mankind©? She no doubt lived in abject fear of being smited mightily with the sword in His mouth.

Jesus didn't get along with her very well anyway.

Matthew 12:47 Then one said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee. 12:48 But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren?

My guess is she was a typical female, nagging all the live long day.

[SUV]

Re: Did Mary beat Jesus?

Who is Mary to have the audacity to beat the Saviour of Mankind©? She no doubt lived in abject fear of being smited mightily with the sword in His mouth.

Thank you, I mean, BLESS YOU, Pastor Ezekiel!!!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Did Mary beat Jesus?

I went with the "How else could Jesus learn to fear God" answer. After all if Jesus had to repent of His depravity and accept Himself as His personal Savior then obviously Jesus had to learn to fear God.

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Did Mary beat Jesus?

Did Mary beat Jesus? I surely hope so. Our Holy Bible is quite clear about how to raise a righteous child. The Good Book of Proverbs, CH 22:15 says

"Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him"

And in the same book of Proverbs we find CH 23:13, which is my personal recipe for success with my son Skeeter...

"Withhold not correction from the child: for [if] thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die"

My only concern with the validity of the homosexual's painting is that Mary isn't using a rod of correction* rather, she is using her bare hand. This is certainly a perversion, made possible by the artist's very liberal outlook on life.

* A dowell-like whip about 3/8 inch in diameter, measuring three feet long. A padded handle at one end improves the efficiency of the instrument.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Did Mary beat Jesus?

I voted "yes, and that's why she's in Hell." I mean, the woman was depraved enough to allow Satan to use her image to set up a deathcult to drive millions of Papists into eternal hellfire, so there's not much I'd put past her.

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Re: Did Mary beat Jesus?

Jesus didn't get along with her very well anyway.

Matthew 12:47 Then one said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee. 12:48 But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren?

My guess is she was a typical female, nagging all the live long day.

You are quite right, Pastor. From the viewpoint of a pig-ignorant Jewess, Jesus must have seemed to be a stubborn and rebellious son.

My guess is she tried to stone our Savior to death, which is probably why He avoided her as much as possible.

Deuteronomy 21:18 If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:
Deuteronomy 21:19 Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;
Deuteronomy 21:20 And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.
Deuteronomy 21:21 And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

Notice the part about "a glutton, and a drunkard". After having been nag-nag-nagged for 30 years (oy!), Jesus even used the same words to describe Himself.

Matthew 11:19 The Son of man came eating and drinking, and they say, Behold a man gluttonous, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners. But wisdom is justified of her children.

Trust a Yiddische momma to induce guilt, even in the only man without sin.

[Peacekeeper (Quarantined)]

Re: Did Mary beat Jesus?

Sucks for her. She couldnt use our modern technology to beat jesus. Such as a golf club or a tennis racket.

[Jesus is Lord]

Re: Did Mary beat Jesus?

Sucks for her. She couldnt use our modern technology to beat jesus. Such as a golf club or a tennis racket.

Have you even read the thread on using golf clubs to beat children? Golf clubs are for golfing and tennis rackets are for playing tennis!

One should use a paddle or a switch to beat unruly children, servants, and wives. Use the right tool for the job, you wouldn't use a screw driver to hammer in a nail would you?

[Rev. Dr. Davidson]

Re: Did Mary beat Jesus?

I've often wondered this very question. In my youth I used to envision Jesus sneaking a bucket of water out back and turning it into wine, or if he didn't want to take a bath, he'd just stand on top of the water.

Later I thought that if "foolishness is bound into the heart of a child" then certainly there was cause. For in taking the rod, He was following the commandments of His Father. I'd imagine that sometimes his half brothers and sisters blamed things on him, and he would take the beating for them in stoic silence.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Did Mary beat Jesus?

One should use a paddle or a switch to beat unruly children, servants, and wives. Use the right tool for the job, you wouldn't use a screw driver to hammer in a nail would you?

He is a liberal. Not only would he use a screw driver to hammer in a nail, he'd probably use the nail to hang a picture of Al(lah) Gore on. And even then, he'd probably still end up hanging it upside-down.

[Brother V]

Re: Did Mary beat Jesus?

Mary (and probably Joseph) most likely beat the living tar out of the young saviour after this incident.

Luke 2:42 And when he was twelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem after the custom of the feast.

43 And when they had fulfilled the days, as they returned, the child Jesus tarried behind in Jerusalem; and Joseph and his mother knew not of it.

44 But they, supposing him to have been in the company, went a day's journey; and they sought him among their kinsfolk and acquaintance.

45 And when they found him not, they turned back again to Jerusalem, seeking him.

46 And it came to pass, that after three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions.

47 And all that heard him were astonished at his understanding and answers.

48 And when they saw him, they were amazed: and his mother said unto him, Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing.

49 And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business?

50 And they understood not the saying which he spake unto them.

I'd assume after verse 50 Mary (who would have been about 24 at the time) said something like "this'll teach you to say things that i don't understand!!!"

Let's look at the next verse.

51 And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart.

I'm under the belief that "and was subject unto them" means they spanked Him.

While Jesus TECHNICALLY didn't do anything wrong. Mary and Joe would have not realized that Jesus actions were not those of a child-God. But just the actions of a 12 year old.

YIC
V

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Did Mary beat Jesus?

While Jesus TECHNICALLY didn't do anything wrong. Mary and Joe would have not realized that Jesus actions were not those of a child-God. But just the actions of a 12 year old.

YIC
V

Excellent point, V! I imagine that whole bright star, wise men, angels and glory thing was blocked out of their feeble little minds, as it was all too distressing and bizarre for a carpenter and his wife to comprehend.