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  • Faith_Machine
    Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Mar 2011
    • 10050
    #1

    Bad journalism: Media reports Florida pastor's 53 hour sermon as "record breaking."

    I'm sure you'll all join me in congratulating Pastor Zach Zehnder for loving God enough to deliver a 53 hour and 18 second sermon...



    But come on... record breaking?

    Pastor Zeke's record still stands at 64 hours and 23 minutes, and it's hardly our fault the folks from The Guinness Book of World Records couldn't be there to personally witness Zeke's triumph. After all, unsaved trash are not allowed in Freehold, except when they obtain special permission in advance. Next time, hopefully Freehold Security will be a little faster about processing that request.

    (Protip for Guinness Book officials: If you want to get through security faster, don't send guys wearing turbans.)
    WARNING:
    In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
    REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
    Tags: 53 hour sermon, marathon, praise, world record, zach zehnder
    • Mary Etheldreda
      Gushing for Jesus
       
      • Sep 2011
      • 23775
      #2
      Re: Bad journalism: Media reports Florida pastor's 53 hour sermon as "record breaking."

      I LOVE to hear the Word Preached! I can never get enough!

      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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