[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Jesus Spotting!

Tell me you can't see Him, tell me.

[Basilissa]

Re: Jesus Spotting!

is showing His Holy Wrath towards the Santeria-worshiping unbelievers in Haiti:

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Jesus Spotting!

You have a problem with Jesus blessing people through gifts of the anal variety?
...

Once again, your mockery falls flat under the Power of Christ!

So True™, dear Sister! A member of the atheist cult tries to mock Jesus without realizing that Jesus uses all available means of communication to express His displeasure about the current state of affairs on Earth. If we dig deeper into the colonic realm, we shall find Jesus staring back at us. Literally.



That image of Christ is from a colonoscopy. The diverticula of this person have been miraculously arranged by Jesus to show us the appearance of Jesus Christ Himself. Why not? He is everywhere!

Psalms 139:7-9
Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;

The diverticular depressions on the inner lining of the rectal colon form a greeting but also a dire warning by Jesus. Imagine this: A homerpair is engaged in their favorite past time - anal frolicking. Upon the moment of release with the face of Jesus on the way they cannot avoid performing the ultimate act of blasphemy: Filling the Sweet Face of Jesus Christ with wasted semen, a facial degradation so vile that no human being has ever suffered anything as repulsive. This will warn them off from repeating such acts and brings them back to Jesus. Indeed, the Power of Christ can overcome all obstacles.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Jesus Spotting!

You have a problem with Jesus blessing people through gifts of the anal variety?

ANAL WARTS - A Precious Gift from God!

Thanks to Professor Elmer White, distinguished professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology), who refuses to be silenced by the constant barage of atheist scientific persecution, the whole world knows just how mysterious God's Ways can be. Besides, it should come as no surprise that the King of the Universe who talks out of His ass should also shower blessings out of one.

Once again, your mockery falls flat under the Power of Christ!

[Didymus Much]

Re: Jesus Spotting!

inb4 anal polyp jesus "oooh PRAISE"

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Jesus Spotting!

As the End of Times draws near, Jesus Christ is appearing more and more often everywhere on Earth! He neglects nothing!

A few days ago, in an unnamed Ungodly ER, a doctor was removing impacted earwax, when he suddenly realized that at the other end of the otoscope, a familiar face was looking at him!

Jesus.



It's hard to imagine that Christ could send a clearer message.

Matthew 13:15
For this people's heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them.

Repent. Do it now! Jesus shall heal you. Needless to say, upon realizing whose image he was carrying, the patient decided to keep his earwax with pride and dignity!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Basilissa]

Re: Jesus Spotting!

Glory! Jesus Christ is closer and closer to demolishing this Earth for the celebrations of His second coming, as a couple of days ago He appeared in a container of minced meat at a local market!



This is to remind us of His superb and unsurpassed promises to His chosen ones, i.e., us!

John 4:34
Jesus saith unto them, My meat is to do the will of him that sent me, and to finish his work.

It is True™! The meat of Jesus, His glorious firm ground beef is appearing.




Yours in Christ,

Elmer

Praise for making the meat decomposing bacteria look like Him!

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Jesus Spotting!

Glory! Jesus Christ is closer and closer to demolishing this Earth for the celebrations of His second coming, as a couple of days ago He appeared in a container of minced meat at a local market!



This is to remind us of His superb and unsurpassed promises to His chosen ones, i.e., us!

John 4:34
Jesus saith unto them, My meat is to do the will of him that sent me, and to finish his work.

It is True™! The meat of Jesus, His glorious firm ground beef is appearing.




Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Jesus Spotting!

Jesus comes back to remind us that He did it before, He'll do it again. Next time, many more than 3000 souls will begin Eternal Damnation.






Photographer captures 'apparition' in the beams of the 9/11 Tribute in Light

The photographer thinks this might be an angel of light at the top, but I think anyone with an open heart and a sincere love for Jesus knows it is our Redeemer Himself. Jesus warns us that when He returns (bodily, not smokes and mirrors this time), He's coming to take and obliterate far more than 3000 sinners from the face of the earth. His return will be spectacular, as He'll ride to the Earth on a mighty horse, followed by an entire space cavalry! If this isn't intimidating enough to inspire a last-second Repentance and Conversion Promise, He'll be wielding a sword in His Divine Mouth (Revelation 19:11-16). While that may serve to confuse some people, I think most will realize He means Business, and their time is up! I think this is what Jesus At The Top Of The 9/11 Beam Of Light means for us to know - Hurry up and repent, for this was just a taste of the violence and destruction that is to come!

Glory!

[I Man Rastafari]

Re: Jesus Spotting!

I am very familiar with this type of potato. It is a yam which white people call a sweet potato. They are my favorite food after okra and tomatoes. But I do not think they have Jesus in them.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Jesus Spotting!

Jesus shows up to offer comfort in the form of a Divine Spud!




It's nearly impossible to ignore the implications of this miraculous potato, but no doubt atheists will attempt to do just that. While they will attribute this to pests, disease, or simple rot, those of us who have open minds and are accepting of evidence know another story is entirely possible, and that other story is better. This potato could have simply been a regular, old-fashioned, Idaho variety potato, destined to become a thankless part of Tuesday's soft potato salad luncheon side dish for the old folks home. It could have been, but Jesus decided to turn it into a Holy Sign for those spending their last days contemplating little more than life and death. Clearly Jesus wants remind us that regardless of how absurd youth have become, regardless of whether or not Hillary Clinton is a lesbian-powered Super Witch, or even how vicious and far-reaching ISIS is getting, Jesus is watching this all from afar, and loves us!

Glory!

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Jesus Spotting!

Expecting Rapture (1 Thessalonians 4:17) any day now as Jesus appears on a beached stingray, one of His own Creations!



No doubt, Jesus wants to remind the sinners of their excruciating fate if they fail to follow His call!

Revelation 9:10
And they had tails like unto scorpions, and there were stings in their tails: and their power was to hurt men five months.

Moreover, Jesus wants to remind us, His bestest friends, of the magnificent Promise He's about to deliver to us, True Christians™:

1 Corinthians 15:55
O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Jesus Spotting!

That is inspiring, Brother! Goodness, but Jesus is BUSY plastering His Holy Face on random objects throughout the world to assure us that He still cares! Look how He shares His Joyful emotions over the Gate of Hell. He delights in the Just Punishment of Sinners, including homers, Democrats, Feminists, Catholics, Cripples, Dwarfs, and oh so many people who never bothered to accept Him as their Savior (Psalm 2:4)!

Glory!

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Jesus Spotting!

In order to show the World once and for all that He is the Creator of Life, Universe, and Everything, Jesus appears on an imperial moth in Godly Texas!



This is a clear reference to one of Jesus' own writings:

Matthew 6:20
But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:

It is to remind us that the Ultimate Prize will be in Heaven. Why the imperial moth? Because Jesus is our Ultimate King, our Emperor, our Caesar! We are of His household!

Philippians 4:22
All the saints salute you, chiefly they that are of Caesar's household.

This is excellent news and a significant omen that the stuff predicted in 1 Thessalonians 4:17 are going to take place very, very soon!




Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Des]

Re: Jesus Spotting!

I hope she frames that and hangs it prominently in the living room or by the dining room table. People need visual prompts just like that to remind them of everywhere Jesus can be found.