Kirk Cameron Tribute Thread

[Witch Hammer]

How do I adore Kirk Cameron? Let me count the ways:

1. Totally non-creepy. I would absolutely trust him to not sodomize me if he and I were showering together and I bent down to pick up that bar of soap he dropped while lathering my back.


2. Super-Stud. Not a sissy at all. The guy I'd want covering my @$$ on a fag-bashing mission.


3. Really knows how to party "Christian Style". No marijuana-fueled gay orgies here...only sad, solemn and boring festivities for brother Cameron, as pleases the Lord.


4. Smart as a whip! Handed atheists their @$$ when he irrefutably disproved evolution in front of a global audience.


5. Hates Santa Claus like nobody's business!

[WWJDnow]

Re: Kirk Cameron Tribute Thread

Don't forget, Brother Kirk isn't just a good Christian, he's also a fine actor.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Kirk Cameron Tribute Thread

Don't forget, Brother Kirk isn't just a good Christian, he's also a fine actor.

6. A monumental actor! He makes me believe that he is actually some sort of repressed homosexual/retard/meth-fiend! What a gift Jesus has given him!

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Kirk Cameron Tribute Thread

7. His entourage is top-notch!

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Kirk Cameron Tribute Thread

In my bedroom, I have a picture in the hierarchy of men in my life: Jesus, My husband, my father, Kirk. He's such a fine man!

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Kirk Cameron Tribute Thread

Mr. Cameron is certainly an immaculate role model to all of us. He exemplifies all the virtues that the Good Book mentions. One of the most interesting ones is his fearless composure when confronted with Biblical perils. Even at the age of a young healthy youth he showed the world (and Jesus) how a sturdy lad fulfills the prophecies of Jesus:

Mark 16:18
They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

Verily, Mr. Cameron was able to do this with the powers vested in him by Jesus, and there is also pictorial material to prove this for sinners and atheists.



A deadly viper on his shoulders, young Mr. Cameron fears no evil (Psalms 23:4). Instead, he shows admirable courage (Deuteronomy 31:6), a fearless engaging merry smile (Proverbs 17:22) and dazzling good looks (Song of Solomon 6:4). By looking at this endearing picture we are actually looking at several encouraging Biblical verses. Thus, the mere appearance of the adolescent pubertal Mr. Cameron on the screen brings us closer to Jesus and Heaven.




Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Kirk Cameron Tribute Thread

I Kirk and banana's too!

Bless you Kirk!

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Kirk Cameron Tribute Thread

Kirk Cameron is not afraid to let the Truth set the Sodomite Free!

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Kirk Cameron Tribute Thread

Kirk Cameron is not afraid to let the Truth set the Sodomite Free!

I am not a man who weeps often, but Brother Cameron's courage in the face of adversity brings a tear to my eye. He is like a modern day Moses™, leading...nay....goading the rebellious sodomite horde through the untamed wilderness of anal sex and nipple torture, and beyond, into the land of eternal sunshine, where the Light of God's Glory may illuminate their countenance forevermore. If it weren't blasphemous to say so, I would say there should be a Book of Kirk added to the Bible.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Kirk Cameron Tribute Thread

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Kirk Cameron Tribute Thread


Sigh...if only all our mullets could be so courtly....

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Kirk Cameron Tribute Thread

Brother Jim,

What a powerful visual testimony. I need to ask you something about this image:

Is this magazine actually among your collection of vintage publications endorsed by Jesus? The publication seems to be in a pristine condition and apparently extremely valuable. I've been searching for some light reading that would still be Godly and useful as a Guide in our path to Heaven. This magazine would be something my elder boys would really enjoy reading, the half children could look at the pictures and I wouldn't mind going through the pages myself in private, either. This would show our youngsters how a Godly person can radiate good looks and be a healthy object of admiration and teen phantasies at a young age. If any of these magazines is available, I would not mind your scanning them for our Church members' benefit.

Verily, young Mr. Cameron could have been described in the Good Book.

1 Samuel 16:18
Then answered one of the servants, and said, Behold, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, that is cunning in playing, and a mighty valiant man, and a man of war, and prudent in matters, and a comely person, and the LORD is with him.

Yours in Christ,



Elmer

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Kirk Cameron Tribute Thread

Brother Jim,

What a powerful visual testimony. I need to ask you something about this image:

Is this magazine actually among your collection of vintage publications endorsed by Jesus? The publication seems to be in a pristine condition and apparently extremely valuable. I've been searching for some light reading that would still be Godly and useful as a Guide in our path to Heaven. This magazine would be something my elder boys would really enjoy reading, the half children could look at the pictures and I wouldn't mind going through the pages myself in private, either. This would show our youngsters how a Godly person can radiate good looks and be a healthy object of admiration and teen phantasies at a young age. If any of these magazines is available, I would not mind your scanning them for our Church members' benefit.

Verily, young Mr. Cameron could have been described in the Good Book.

1 Samuel 16:18
Then answered one of the servants, and said, Behold, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, that is cunning in playing, and a mighty valiant man, and a man of war, and prudent in matters, and a comely person, and the LORD is with him.

Yours in Christ,



Elmer

Brother Elmer, I sold one of my daughters to purchase a vintage teen magazine that featured a two-page spread of young Brother Cameron reclined, poolside, in a glorious state of prayerful repose. It was in near mint condition when I received it...but in less than a week, it had been reduced to a tattered, dog-eared mess, such was my enthusiastic perusal of the publication.

It's remains have since been placed in a plastic slip cover and retired to a place of honor in the vault, to rest in peace. Thank goodness though that I had the foresight to scan the pages into my computer for future reference.