[Roland]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

So, say you all go and get Zeke his nice fancy Airbus, and he's on his way to God-forsaken hellhole like Denver or San Francisco, and then the Pastafarian Air Force shows up:

Now what?

Pastafarians are a easy going bunch of people. Some perhaps not, but then they rather not be Pastafarians. Perhaps the aircraft you posted might at some time be used to fend of the ninja´s, the natural enemy of the Pastafarians.

[Samuel Levenson]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

So, say you all go and get Zeke his nice fancy Airbus, and he's on his way to God-forsaken hellhole like Denver or San Francisco, and then the Pastafarian Air Force shows up:


Now waht?

Pastafarians are a bunch of rebellious, broke college kids who think they're edgy for bashing Jesus and worshiping Ramen noodles. They couldn't buy an RC plane, let alone an aircraft.

[Roland]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Pastafarians are a bunch of rebellious, broke college kids who think they're edgy for bashing Jesus and worshiping Ramen noodles. They couldn't buy an RC plane, let alone an aircraft.

Hello Samuel,

My RC plane crashed a few years ago. An airplane I can not afford but perhaps an other Pastafarian has one (see the video of the Greek Pirate Plane Didymus posted). If you look through my posts you might find where my interests are.

[Samuel Levenson]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Hello Samuel,

My RC plane crashed a few years ago. An airplane I can not afford but perhaps an other Pastafarian has one (see the video of the Greek Pirate Plane Didymus posted). If you look through my posts you might find where my interests are.

Friend, have you ever heard the expression "you can be anyone on the internet"? Just because you claim you had an RC plane doesn't mean you did! Just because you claim to live "On a mountain with a tree and a midget" doesn't mean you do! And since your profile shows that you're a damned meatball worshiper and not a True Christian(tm), I can only assume that most of what you say is an abominable lie.

[Roland]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

[...] I can only assume that most of what you say is an abominable lie.

Have you tried my recipes I posted in the Basic Recipe thread? Surely you must concur I am not lying when I state these recipes are easy to prepare and really nice to eat? Perhaps Esther will post her recipe for the meat pie with a bacon crust, that would be nice. I asked before but I didn´t get a response.

[Samuel Levenson]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Have you tried my recipes I posted in the Basic Recipe thread? Surely you must concur I am not lying when I state these recipes are easy to prepare and really nice to eat? Perhaps Esther will post her recipe for the meat pie with a bacon crust, that would be nice. I asked before but I didn´t get a response.

We're getting off topic so I'll go straight to the source:


John 8:44- Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it."


See? Since you're not a Christian, your father is the devil and you lie just like him. Checkmate atheist!

[The Rev. Dwight Williams]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Best of luck to you with your fundraiser and its worthy goal!

I wish I could have my jet upgraded, but this year presented me with a more pressing need and challenge. As some of y'all no doubt have been informated, police in various and numerous American municipalities and jurisdictions have been shooting their guns at black men in or near their cars.

Now, my Bentley is lavishously appointed and fit to be the vehicular representation to my flock, but unfortunately it is not armored. So this year, in an effort to guaranter the longevity and continuing good health of my person, my congremegants organized a donation drive to retrofit my Bentley with military-grade anti-ballistic paneling and glass, bullet-resistant tires, and a laser-guided defense system that neutralizes incoming projectiles with microflak bursts. That last bit o technologerizin was leased from the Israelis and cost a pretty penny.

Now, my flock may not be as numerous or affluentialized as some others, and my megachurch can only seat 12,000. Fundraisin ain't easy when the majority of people in them seats are tithing only 1/3rd of their gubbament checks, but we managed to raise the $26 million in only three months!

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

The Committee is aware of the generous contributions made by members of the congregation. The bake sales and children's walk-a-thons have helped as well. Several million dollars has been raised.

We are not quite there yet, however. Pastor Zeke needs to be squired around the world in the largest and fastest jet aircraft available.

One of the worst developments I can think of has happened. Our nemesis, Preacher Creflo Dollar, has placed has placed an order the a new Gulfstream. While it is a toy aircraft, price tag only $67 million, compared to what we are buying for Pastor Zeke it represents an image problem. Until we have Pastor Zeke's aircraft on the tarmac, Creflo's plane will be the newest of biggest of all the famous preachers.

Let's give and give big to bring home Pastor Zeke's jumbo jet.

Million Luxury Jet Posted: 06/05/2015 5:15 pm EDT Updated: 06/05/2015 5:59 pm EDT

ASSOCIATED PRESS




NEWS ITEM:
You may have heard the story a few months ago about an Atlanta-based minister who claimed he needed a $65 million private jet so he could "safely and swiftly share the Good News of the Gospel worldwide." But almost as quickly as Pastor Creflo Dollar asked his 200,000 followers to each donate $300.00 towards the purchase of a luxurious jet, the campaign vanished and was removed from his website.
But now, the board of World Changers Church International -- which also operates as Creflo Dollar Ministries, has announced it is ready to purchase the plane.
"We plan to acquire a Gulfstream G650 because it is the best, and it is a reflection of the level of excellence at which this organization chooses to operate."
This has got to be one of the biggest shams ever, and there's so much delusion it's hard to even figure out where to begin.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

I'm not happy, people. I need that plane. It's not like I'm asking for caviar on my ice cream. GET ME THIS PLANE!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

You think you're unhappy, Pastor Zeke? Think how GOD feels about you not having that plane!

And everybody please heed these words from my good friends, Kenneth Copeland and Jesse Duplantis.

As they make abundantly clear, settling for a merely adequate plane means you've allowed your faith to stagnate.

And since the video gets cut off at the end, let's take a close look at Amos 6:1 and see what it says:

Amos 6:1

Woe to them that are at ease in Zion, and trust in the mountain of Samaria, which are named chief of the nations, to whom the house of Israel came!

Pastor Zeke is anything but "at ease" in Zion. He is not complacent in his faith.

But you know who is complacent? All of us, who have failed to get him this plane.


This isn't rocket science, people. Now go out there and win some souls for Jesus, and get them on a tithe schedule, pronto!

(That means quickly.)

[Elmer G. White]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

You think you're unhappy, Pastor Zeke? Think how GOD feels about you not having that plane!

And everybody please heed these words from my good friends, Kenneth Copeland and Jesse Duplantis.

As they make abundantly clear, settling for a merely adequate plane means you've allowed your faith to stagnate.


And since the video gets cut off at the end, let's take a close look at Amos 6:1 and see what it says:


Pastor Zeke is anything but "at ease" in Zion. He is not complacent in his faith.

But you know who is complacent? All of us, who have failed to get him this plane.

This isn't rocket science, people. Now go out there and win some souls for Jesus, and get them on a tithe schedule, pronto!

(That means quickly.)

Brother Faith,

I have excellent news that I've meant to share with you for some time now.

I received a few days ago a letter that has infinite promise to provide us with all the currency we need to purchase Pastor Ezekiel the best jet available.

"Trust in the Lord with all your Heart and He will acknowledge and He will light the way."
This prayer has been sent to you for good luck. The original copy is from the NETHERLANDS.It has been around the world nine times. The luck has now been brought to you. You will receive good luck within four days of receiving this letter provided you in turn send it back out. THIS IS NO JOKE... You will receive it in the mail. Send copies of this letter to people you think need good luck. Send 100 $ to the top name on the list, the one that you omitted. Wrap it carefully in paper, put it in an envelope, enclosing nothing else, as a charity donation. In turn, as your name reaches the top, you will begin receiving hundreds of dollars. Do not keep this letter.... It must leave your hands within 96 hours after you receive it.
An RAF officer received $70,000. Joe Elliott received $4,000,000 and lost it because he broke the chain. While in the Phillipines, General Welch lost his life six days after he received this letter. HE failed to circulate the prayer.

The list of names DOES include Mr. Dollar, Mr. Ham etc., all reliable and well-known affluent names. In addition, I'm fairly sure that I will have to pass this letter on or bad luck will meet me.

I'm going to forward this letter to five of our Brethren and sisters and they can forward it to five further recipients each. Soon we'll be on the top of the list and receive hundreds, thousands of dollars each from those further down on the list. We'll be able to pay for Pastor Ezekiel's jet in no time.

This ingenious financing method is called a "chain letter". I'm flabbergasted that no-one has thought of this before! It is just plain solid mathematics. No way we can lose!

To ensure the feasibility of this plan, I consulted the Bible. The Bible says "yes"!

Song of Solomon 1:10
Thy cheeks are comely with rows of jewels, thy neck with chains of gold.

Verily, Gold is prophesied. This is most promising.

Ezekiel 7:23
Make a chain: for the land is full of bloody crimes, and the city is full of violence.

Verily, God Commands us to keep the chain going!

2 Timothy 1:16
The Lord give mercy unto the house of Onesiphorus; for he oft refreshed me, and was not ashamed of my chain:

Verily, we shall not be ashamed of this method of fundraising!




Dear Brethren, Dear Brother Faith! You'll soon receive copies of this letter. Please, do not break the chain. Keep this money-making method going! This is the answer to our needs!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Samuel Hubbard]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

A Godly uncle of mine recently passed and left me a large sum of money. He wanted me to keep at least half of it for myself and give the other half to a worthy cause. I've decided to send at least $350,000 (which is a little more than half) to this incredibly worthy cause.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

A Godly uncle of mine recently passed and left me a large sum of money. He wanted me to keep at least half of it for myself and give the other half to a worthy cause. I've decided to send at least $350,000 (which is a little more than half) to this incredibly worthy cause.

The Committee appreciates your generosity. This large gift moves us closer to ordering the Airbus.

We are concerned that Pastor Zeke is still without this appropriate aircraft on the cusp of Donald Trumps election to the Presidency of the United States. We are thinking our aircraft might be preferred by President Trump to Air Force One. Pastor Zeke's Airbus will have a stag only cigar room where the President and the Pastor can kick back and see some movies we may never hear about.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Have we given any thought to the liveries that will be worn by the in-flight service staff? I'm thinking something with a classic antebellum look would be just delightful.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Brother Machine! Do you really think that Pastor Zeke would want nigra hosties on board? Maybe something a little more modern, and a lot more white: