[Alan Swallows Waiting for Email Confirmation]

Re: 2016 is Here: End of Times Highly Likely!

T
We had a sudden opening for a new funeral home since the last one was shut down by the Freehold Department of Faith. Turns out that old Mr. Lancaster was a secret drunkard, so he's left town now in disgrace.

That guy always gave me the creeps anyway. Had a bad smell about him. Green stuff under his fingernails. Pissed himself at an after church BBQ once.

The Lord works in mysterious ways, Pastor. I find that whenever He opens a door for me, He always closes a door on someone else at just the right time.