Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell?

[Marshal Kim Jong-un]

Hello.

According to all known laws of aviation, when you die, you will either go heaven or hell. You will meet those who are live godly life, or are condemned. That said, who are you most looking forward to meet in Heaven/Hell? Besides Jesus/Satan, obviously.


Here are some people I am looking forward to meeting, Kim Il-sung and Kim Jong-il are not on the list because for I have already met them:


Abraham Lincoln
Albert Einstein
Clement Attlee
Anne Frank
Friedrich Nietzsche
Alan Turing
Nye Bevan
Eugene V. Debs
Tony Benn
Martin Luther King

[handmaiden]

Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell?

Young man, in heaven, there are no earthly standards of honor. If one is bathed in the Blood of the Lamb one is permitted there regardless of what one did or who one was in life.

No one will be impressed if someone was a president or a king.


And hell is not precisely a social club, either. Serial killers won't be admired celebrities and Albert Schweitzer will suffer horribly along side Jack the Ripper (whoever he may have been) and they won't be trading autographs.


Remember the only thing that matters is whether one accepts the Saving Grace of God offered through the Sacrificial Death of Jesus. By that standard, Anne Frank is very likely in hell if she persisted in denying Jesus as Lord up until the moment of her death in a concentration camp and Adolph Hitler could very well be in heaven if he asked for God's forgiveness and accepted the provision made for his sins when Jesus suffered on the cross-- even if it were only a millisecond before his death.


We don't know and it is not our place to make such determinations. It is mere human measurement which decides that plus or minus 10 million deaths is a greater sin than being a Jew who refuses to believe in Jesus as Messiah, God and Son of God.


Both sins are equally foul before the Lord God, who made the decision to condemn all of humanity yet to be born simply because Eve just had to have a bite of fruit from that one tree. She could have noshed chowed down on any other fruit from any other tree in the garden, but noooo, a talking snake puts a little bug in her ear and it's bleep you, Holy Perfect God who gave me everything and that was it for humanity.


Honestly, just thinking about it, it's a wonder they even let women into heaven. Nasty creatures.


So, to answer your pointless question, there is no one whom I'm particularly looking forward to meeting in heaven. It may be a bit of a laugh to see the expressions on the faces of the many fools in hell who were so certain they were going to heaven based on their ability to memorize three or four verses from the Bible at the exclusion of all its other warnings, wisdom and requirements.


Unquestioningly Yours,
Handmaiden

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell?

Why on earth would you wanna meet a pair of freaks like Clement Attlee and Tony Benn but not Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher?


in order of appearance

[Marshal Kim Jong-un]

Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell?

Why on earth would you wanna meet a pair of freaks like Clement Attlee and Tony Benn but not Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher?


in order of appearance

Because for Attlee and Benn were glorious socialists, whereas Thatcher and Reagan were capitalist liberals who ruined their countries.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell?

Honestly, just thinking about it, it's a wonder they even let women into heaven. Nasty creatures.

Handmaiden

Sister, I prayed about this and have come to the conclusion that someone has to prepare meals and clean the streets of gold. In fact, the LORD GOD spake unto me while I was in my prayer closet and said, "I'm not a showboat; I am not going to just snap my holy fingers and voila, a bag of Bugles or a pepperoni pizza appears."


I hope that brings some insight into why, despite their many shortcomings, the weaker s-e-x will be permitted to thrive in that better land, our forever home where we shall praise GOD all day every day without ceasing. What a thrilling itinerary is in store for the children of the King.


I would imagine Julia Child will be in charge of the kitchen, by the way.


COME, LORD JESUS!
BrotherLarry


PS: Your comment about not swapping autographs made me a little sad since I was hoping to get a signed football from Peyton Manning. I am going to seek God's response to that, too.

[Marshal Kim Jong-un]

Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell?

I would imagine Julia Child will be in charge of the kitchen, by the way.

Was she True Christian?

[I Man Rastafari]

Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell?

I have heard it said that in the white man's heaven the French are the chefs and the Germans are the administrators and the English are the police. In the white mans hell the French are the administrators and the Germans are the police and the English are the chefs. Do you think that is true?

[handmaiden]

Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell?

I have heard it said that in the white man's heaven the French are the chefs and the Germans are the administrators and the English are the police. In the white mans hell the French are the administrators and the Germans are the police and the English are the chefs. Do you think that is true?

The joke goes this way:


In Heaven the police are English, the chefs are French, the engineers are German, the lovers are Italian and the organizers are Swiss.


In Hell, the police are German, the chefs are English, the engineers are French, the lovers are Swiss and the organizers are Italian.


If you're going to blaspheme the Truth(tm) with a silly joke, at least get it right.


Exactingly Yours,
Handmaiden

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell?

Well, I pity all the poor souls in Hell who never were blessed to understand the full truth of the Bible, or for us women, to have a husband to dictate it to us in simple terms. To be in eternity, being tortured by Satan and without God must be horrid fate, which is why I'm proud to be Baptist and married (once upon a time) and a mother!

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell?

Well, I pity all the poor souls in Hell who never were blessed to understand the full truth of the Bible, or for us women, to have a husband to dictate it to us in simple terms. To be in eternity, being tortured by Satan and without God must be horrid fate, which is why I'm proud to be Baptist and married (once upon a time) and a mother!

God is very clear, being a mother is the important thing. There are other requirements too.

I TIMOTHY 2 . KJV . look up
13a Adam was first formed
13b then Eve.
14a And Adam was not deceived
14b but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
15a Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing

Being deceived is so gross a sin that progeny even beyond the 4th and 10th generations are blasted. Blasted to hell in perpetuity. Which means until God finally enacts His solution and kills everyone except those who have accepted Jesus. And their wives. But notice that just having children is simply the first step. Say you have eight children but then get on the stout and benedictine submarine cocktails. Whooooops! Or accompany your friend in old age to mass well you'd have blown it.

15a if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

That's an important if. The deaconess will be able to discuss what happens if your owner converts to Zen or cannibalism or other religion of that type.

[I Man Rastafari]

Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell?

The joke goes this way:


In Heaven the police are English, the chefs are French, the engineers are German, the lovers are Italian and the organizers are Swiss.


In Hell, the police are German, the chefs are English, the engineers are French, the lovers are Swiss and the organizers are Italian.


If you're going to blaspheme the Truth™ with a silly joke, at least get it right.


Exactingly Yours,
Handmaiden

I am sorry Sistren because that is not the way I heard the story. Also I don't think they would let Italians into the white mans heaven.

[handmaiden]

Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell?

I am sorry Sistren because that is not the way I heard the story. Also I don't think they would let Italians into the white mans heaven.

Italians get there the same way that everyone else does--by being bathed in the Blood of the Lamb and becoming white as snow.


Why are you so racist towards the olive-skinned? Jesus died so that every equally sinful human being could get into heaven. As an ex-Eyetalian, I am deeply offended by your racial insensitivity.


Triggeredly Yours,
Handmaiden

[Marshal Kim Jong-un]

Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell?

In an Heavenly surrounding, the police are Korean, the chefs are Korean, the engineers are Korean, the lovers are Korean and the organizers are the Workers' Party of Korea.

In an Hellish surrounding, the police are the brutal western police, the chefs are western McDonalds imperialists, the engineers are western luddite fools, the lovers are western perverts and the organizers are the bourgeoisie.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell?

In an Heavenly surrounding, the police are Korean, the chefs are Korean, the engineers are Korean, the lovers are Korean and the organizers are the Workers' Party of Korea.In an Hellish surrounding, the police are the brutal western police, the chefs are western McDonalds imperialists, the engineers are western luddite fools, the lovers are western perverts and the organizers are the bourgeoisie.

I was not aware that Luddites were engineers.

[handmaiden]

Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell?

In an Heavenly surrounding, the police are Korean, the chefs are Korean, the engineers are Korean, the lovers are Korean and the organizers are the Workers' Party of Korea.

In an Hellish surrounding, the police are the brutal western police, the chefs are western McDonalds imperialists, the engineers are western luddite fools, the lovers are western perverts and the organizers are the bourgeoisie.

In Dog Hell (if such a place existed) is where the chefs are Korean. . . And presumably the police are cats.


Hypothetically Yours,
Handmaiden