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  • Marshal Kim Jong-un
    Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
    • Dec 2016
    • 215
    #1

    When I met Pastor Ezekiel

    I initially could not remember the time I met Pastor Ezekiel, however, it is revealed to me that he has visited the DPRK, only I contracted amnesia soon after. However, there are indeed records documenting this event, we both had interpreters to translate language. The whole event was document in Korea, and has been retranslated into English. Enjoy.

    Kim Jong-un Hello Comrade Ezekiel.

    Ezekiel Hello. Nice to be meet you. Do not call me comrade. I am not a communist. Communist go hell.


    Kim Jong-un Are you enjoy your stay in the DPRK?


    Ezekiel Yes it will very nice. I particularly enjoy the toilet.


    Kim Jong-un Presentable. What purpose have come for you today?


    Ezekiel To preach the word of my lord and savior of main course.


    Kim Jong-un And who might that be?


    Ezekiel Jesús


    Kim Jong-un I will cut off your tongue if you talk about Jesús!


    Ezekiel Put waste matter remaining after food has been digested into the mouth and chew and swallow it. I will talk about Jesús!


    Kim Jong-un Just my luck! A fanatic!


    Ezekiel Do you want go hell?


    Kim Jong-un Are you inviting me to your country?


    Ezekiel What a treacherous statement of treachery! America is the best country of world!


    Kim Jong-un You are lion to me! America is of fool country and the country of the sick!


    Ezekiel Socialist swine.


    Kim Jong-un America is and has always be run by pig. Clinton was a pig, and Bush was a pig. Now you have America in the pocket of disgust Israel, who is also an pig. What are you, then?


    Ezekiel Are you implying I am a pig?


    Kim Jong-un I did not mean to imply but to state outright.


    Ezekiel How dare you insult an man of God! People who slander God-botherers such as this are swine. I pray that God will set bears on you for eating a prophet of the LARD makes you a SIMMER and you will burn hell fires!


    Kim Jong-un Bears will not attack me for they are soviet communist.


    Ezekiel God is the master!


    Kim Jong-un From Doctor Who?


    Ezekiel You are the puppet of a demon. I will beat him out of you!! Allahu ackbar!


    (Precedes to smack glorious supreme leader on the head with the bible!)


    Korean People's Guard Official Oh no! Gasp and sock! Sadness and anguish combined! Are Kim Jong-un you okay?


    Kim Jong-un Where am I? Who am I? What is going on?


    Korean People's Guard Official Hooray! You are live! But hark! You are now an amnesiac! Oh terror! Your name, dear comrade, is Kim Jong-un and you are the Supreme Leader of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.


    Kim Jong-un Wow! I am the leader of a country! Cool! I bet it is a world superpower! Let's go do some politics!


    THE END.
    "When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1

    I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.
    Tags: None
    • MitzaLizalor
      Completely CRAZY for the Lord
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2010
      • 14217
      #2
      Re: When I met Pastor Ezekiel

      Kim Jong-un Wow! I am the leader of a country! Cool! I bet it is a world superpower! Let's go do some politics!
      Perhaps you have not compared the resources of your TPLAC with Pastor's base in Landover?


      I KINGS 2:3 Keep the charge of the LORD thy God, to walk in his ways, to keep his statutes, and his commandments, and his judgments, and his testimonies, as it is written in the law of Moses, that thou mayest prosper in all that thou doest, and whithersoever thou turnest thyself:
      context .. kjv



      God has promised that by following His Just Law prosperity is assured. Christians have no interest in wealth for its own sake you understand (well you probably don't but I'll continue anyway) rather for the ministry that can be brought into a sick world by His grace. Churches which keep the charge of the LORD, walk in His ways, keep His statutes and His commandments and His judgments and His testimonies are prospered for this reason. Landover's quarterly budget will exceed your 5-year-plan quite easily.

      But that doesn't mean Pastor Flint is rich! Quite the reverse!

      Jesus explains that we are to embrace humility and give up all our material possessions. In this way the Church accepts poverty and our Pastors, and the deaconess, are both poor and humble in Him.


      MARK 10:19-24 [Jesus speaking] Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Defraud not, Honour thy father and mother. And he answered and said unto him, Master, all these have I observed from my youth. Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me. And he was sad at that saying, and went away grieved: for he had great possessions. And Jesus looked round about, and saith unto his disciples, How hardly shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of God! And the disciples were astonished at his words. But Jesus answereth again, and saith unto them, Children, how hard is it for them that trust in riches to enter into the kingdom of God!
      context .. kjv



      Christians never trust in riches. You probably don't know this but riches are the result of prosperity. And Christians give up the fruit of prosperity to witness for Jesus. Pastor Ezekiel gives it up all the time and the LORD continues to bless him with more prosperity so that he can remain poor by travelling to heathen realms regardless of expense. Hallelujah!

      In the same way you will never know the joy of humility because you have not given away all your wealth. Probably your country has been brought low as happened to the USSR by following Stalin by following Engels. In that case as a young ruler without riches you can't give them away and will remain condemned forever.

      How sad it must be to be a heathen king. I'm sure if you read the context links you will find many parallels which I trust will speak to your wizened soul.

        Comment

        • Marshal Kim Jong-un
          Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
          • Dec 2016
          • 215
          #3
          Re: When I met Pastor Ezekiel

          Originally posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
          Probably your country has been brought low as happened to the USSR by following Stalin by following Engels.
          You mean the country that defeated the Third Reich and launched the first man in space?
          "When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1

          I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.

            Comment

            • Alvin Moss
              Serving Jesus
              True Christian™
              • Aug 2013
              • 4468
              #4
              Re: When I met Pastor Ezekiel

              [QUOTE=Marshal Kim Jong-un;1204392]
              Originally posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
              Probably your country has been brought low as happened to the USSR by following Stalin by following Engels. /QUOTE]

              You mean the country that defeated the Third Reich and launched the first man in space?

              Yes, that country.
              God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

                Comment

                • Marshal Kim Jong-un
                  Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
                  • Dec 2016
                  • 215
                  #5
                  Re: When I met Pastor Ezekiel

                  [QUOTE=Alvin Moss;1204394]
                  Originally posted by Marshal Kim Jong-un View Post


                  Yes, that country.

                  I saw this meme I thought you might like. God hates Buddhism, doesn't he?
                  "When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1

                  I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.

                    Comment

                    • MitzaLizalor
                      Completely CRAZY for the Lord
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2010
                      • 14217
                      #6
                      Re: When I met Pastor Ezekiel

                      Yes, God really hates buddhism. You know it's funny isn't it, I just happened to be looking at some scans when you posted that.

                      . . . . . . .acknowledgment Kim Jong-un
                      Click image for larger version Name: anarchoLOOKS.jpg Views: 1 Size: 7.7 KB ID: 1921801 Anarcho-communist looks . Isaiah 1:18
                      Click image for larger version Name: anarchoREADS.png Views: 1 Size: 51.8 KB ID: 1921803 Anarcho-communist reads . John 1:5
                      Click image for larger version Name: anarchoCONVERTS.jpg Views: 1 Size: 10.5 KB ID: 1921802 Anarcho-communist becomes New in Christ . II Corinthians 4:6

                      If you would like to dedicate your life to Jesus please contact the Pastoral team who will be happy to minister to you.

                        Comment

                        • Marshal Kim Jong-un
                          Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
                          • Dec 2016
                          • 215
                          #7
                          Re: When I met Pastor Ezekiel

                          Can you do the bible verses for this one? Thank.
                          "When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1

                          I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.

                            Comment

                            • MitzaLizalor
                              Completely CRAZY for the Lord
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2010
                              • 14217
                              #8
                              Re: When I met Pastor Ezekiel

                              Originally posted by Marshal Kim Jong-un View Post
                              TWITTER DELETED Can you do the bible verses for this one? Thank.
                              I presume you're referring to the post before yours, the Scripture is already there. Thank you.

                                Comment

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