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Clearly my attempts to re-acclimate are still shoddy. I seem to still have some demons that need to be excised. Locking myself up for a month with nothing but the kjv bible. Hope to be closer to being saved after memorizing the scriptures so I don't cause any more mess ups such as cutting brake lines to retards' cars.
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible.
Well praise Jesus, this sounds like a really enjoyable month you've got ahead of you!WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service. -
Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible.
While on the face of it this may seem a laudable aim, how are you going to ensure that you do not succumb to the sin of onanism?Originally posted by Bubba Buck View Post
Genesis 38:9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.
YIC1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.Comment
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible.
Originally posted by Bubba Buck View Post
Thats the KJV Bible.
So you going without food and water for a mere month?
Why not Man up like Jesus and fast like Him for 40 days before being tempted to turn your stones into bread
Matthew 4:1 - 558 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bringk upon thee, until thou be destroyed.
Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61Comment
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible.
This is important, too be sure.Originally posted by Phil Ander View Post
But I'm much more interested in him masturbating.
YIC1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.Comment
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible.
Locking yourself up is probably not sufficient for someone who is not a True Christian™. Such a sinner might well be tempted to let himself out before the month (better still, the 40 days suggested by Mr Ander - well done, Sir!) are up.
I would suggest getting someone else to lock you up. Would you like someone to call your local law enforcement officers about the many, many crimes you have confessed to? You could then read the KJV in the peace and quiet of your local county jail.
The unwashed fenian Bobby Sands lasted 66 days on hunger strike. Can you perhaps extend your absence from these forums and beat that, this time in the name of Jesus? 2 Corinthians 6:4-7.Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!Comment
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible.
Originally posted by Bubba Buck View Post
Brother Bubba,
This is ridiculous. G_d teaches us that we need to trust in Him and everything else will work out. I urge you to read the scripture found in Proverbs 3:5. G_d is greater than any demon and only through G_d will you find everlasting peace. Don't let any man condemn you. Go with the knowledge that G_d understands you. He made you! He loves you! I will add supplications to my G_d tonight for you.
Mike H.
Attorney at LawA half truth is a whole lie.Comment
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible.
I am locking myself up at midnight EST time. I fully intend to fast without water and food for this month as well. This is my way of suffering for the lord so that I may feel the pain that he felt. Do I think it will make me a True Christian after memorizing the Bible? No. Do I think that it will help me catch myself from future mistakes? Yes. If you do not hear from me on or after May 9th, it means that my faith was not unwavering enough and that I died.Comment
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible.
Hey Bubba,Originally posted by Bubba Buck View Post
Does this mean that y'all will be gone from the forums for the next 30 days?
Just askin"
YIC
TT
P.S. A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person.Isaiah 66:15
For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.Comment
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible.
You don't say. Pray tell how?Originally posted by Thomas Taylor View PostHello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible.
That is what I recommend for depression in my Sermon. Depression? It could be your lack of faith. I think you'll find them extremely helpful, or not, if you're going through a rough time.
Just out of curiosity, what did you do to anger God?
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible.
Sir, the blind man is like so because it has been made so by the Lord Jesus Christ Himself!Originally posted by Thomas Taylor View Post
2 Corinthians 4:4 - In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them
If anyone is going to fix his vision it ain't going to be some two bit ophthalmic bonesaw
Matthew 12:22 Then was brought unto him one possessed with a devil, blind, and dumb: and he healed him, insomuch that the blind and dumb both spake and saw.
More Bible(KJV1611), less one-liners.
YIC1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.Comment
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible.
Originally posted by Dr Laurence Niles View PostSir, the blind man is like so because it has been made so by the Lord Jesus Christ Himself!
2 Corinthians 4:4 - In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them
If anyone is going to fix his vision it ain't going to be some two bit ophthalmic bonesaw
Matthew 12:22 Then was brought unto him one possessed with a devil, blind, and dumb: and he healed him, insomuch that the blind and dumb both spake and saw.
More Bible(KJV1611), less one-liners.
YIC
Brother Doctor Niles,
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement.
Deuteronomy 28:28
“The Lord shall smite thee with madnesse, and blindnesse, and astonishment of heart.”
YIC
TTIsaiah 66:15
For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.Comment
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible.
Just checking in. I found a phone with built in JesOS. I think a demon may have been excised from me today but later escaped the fear of God. If this happened I sincerely apologize and hope that the appropriate actions were taken against it. It won't happen again. I would be more than happy to share some pictures of the cell I put myself in if you want. Also this KJV bible is awfully nice. I will also provide time stamps if you want to prove I am indeed not lying. I'm starving for Jesus.Comment
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible.
Hello. Are you Jewish again?Originally posted by Michael Hezekiah Esq View PostComment
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