Happy Birthday, Mr. Roland. Please REPENT!

[Elmer G. White]

Mr. Roland,

Please, have a nice Birthday but please, it is time to realize that Jesus is going to lose His patience soon. He'll probably return by the end of this year! And your kind manners and politeness will not help you at all. Unless you choose Him over the FSM or whatever, you'll suffer for Eternity in Hell!

John 3:18
He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

As you can see, Jesus always wins!




Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Roland. Please REPENT!

Frankly it is no surprise that you have not been taken to Jesus’ side at this late point in your life.

John 5:24 - Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life

YIC

[handmaiden]

Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Roland. Please REPENT!

Dear Mr. Roland, you realize that every day of your life since the day you were born is another day closer to death and an eternity in hell, don't you?

Please repent of your sins-- actual and potential-- accept Jesus and be born again for a real birthday that leads to eternal life as soon as you are lucky enough to die.

[Roland]

Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Roland. Please REPENT!

Hi all,

Thank you for the kind wishes. I did an extra round, looking under the tables, in the cupboards and I even chopped some bricks out of the wall; but I did not manage to find Jesus. Honesty demands that I mention that I had to chop those bricks out of the wall as I accidentally hit a water pipe while drilling a hole in the wall.

I do care for your kind thoughts and I do feel sad that you believe know that I will burn in hell.

And Handmaiden: It may seem that I am a year closer to death but that´s just an illusion. I could get tied up in some weird boating accident tomorrow and that would be the end.

No need to be all gloomy though; I am pretty certain there will be cake.

Kind regards,

Roland

[handmaiden]

Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Roland. Please REPENT!

Hi all,

Thank you for the kind wishes. I did an extra round, looking under the tables, in the cupboards and I even chopped some bricks out of the wall; but I did not manage to find Jesus. Honesty demands that I mention that I had to chop those bricks out of the wall as I accidentally hit a water pipe while drilling a hole in the wall.

I do care for your kind thoughts and I do feel sad that you believe know that I will burn in hell.

And Handmaiden: It may seem that I am a year closer to death but that´s just an illusion. I could get tied up in some weird boating accident tomorrow and that would be the end.

No need to be all gloomy though; I am pretty certain there will be cake.

Kind regards,

Roland

Forgive me for not having a degree in logic, but regardless of when it happens, every day that you continue to live makes it more likely that you will die, n'est-ce pas ?


Furthermore, as the Bible is firm to point out, death is not "the end" but merely the beginning of the worst time of your life--if you are an unbeliever.


However, for those Sealed in the Lamb's Book of Righteousness(r), bodily demise is the all expense paid ticket to unlimited fun and happiness with Jesus. Why anyone would want to waste any time having fun here on earth is beyond me.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Roland. Please REPENT!

Hi all,

Thank you for the kind wishes. I did an extra round, looking under the tables, in the cupboards and I even chopped some bricks out of the wall; but I did not manage to find Jesus. Honesty demands that I mention that I had to chop those bricks out of the wall as I accidentally hit a water pipe while drilling a hole in the wall.

I do care for your kind thoughts and I do feel sad that you believe know that I will burn in hell.

And Handmaiden: It may seem that I am a year closer to death but that´s just an illusion. I could get tied up in some weird boating accident tomorrow and that would be the end.

No need to be all gloomy though; I am pretty certain there will be cake.

Kind regards,

Roland

Roland,


You are a petty and sarcastic little person, aren't you? Here we are, reaching out in True Christian(TM) fellowship with concern for the grave danger in which your soul currently abides. You respond to our well-wishes with sarcastic, condescending messages. I can sense the Baby Jesus crying because of this. I felt His Tears on my face as I wrote that last sentence.


Judgment day is promised to be soon (Rev. 22:12). Do you truly want the movie of your life shown to the world or do you want to join those of us who will bypass that embarrassing moment and be with JESUS in the air?


Many happy returns of your day. Sinner.


BrotherLarry