[BibleReader2231]

Re: I will turn 18 one week from today.

Update time: It would appear that my Pa is in hasty negotiations with a few potential suitors. One of the front runners has caught my eye. I won’t release his name just yet but he is a Christian through and through. He has a child from a previous wife who had an unexpected accident falling down some stairs. I’m okay with that as he did not sivorce the woman. He has stairs! It can only mean he owns a two story house at least! Here’s a picture of him.



It’s convincing to say the least. On an unrelated note, I found my late Mama’s wedding dress. I plan to wear it when I am wed. This is an old photo taken a long time ago when my parents married. Pa has grown much since then. I hope the wedding dress will fit me....

[BrotherLarry]

Re: I will turn 18 one week from today.

I just knew you came from livestock. Um I mean good stock. You are becoming just as radiant as your mother. I bet the ladies here would like to know how your mother got so lucky to get a hunk like your dad.

And by the way, Matthew is involved in a big deal with some men in Chicago and yes they are bears. In between that and his ministry he has no time for the weaker gender. Glory glory glory!

[Isabella White]

Re: I will turn 18 one week from today.

Oh, my, dear Sister Maxine: How your first photo brings back memories of when my beloved father and your Grampy used to go to meetings at the same church. I remember how Father used to come home afterward, so pleased with what these mighty men of had accomplished.

Your second photo is very interesting, too. I'd imagine that your dear Pa has filled out a bit since the days when he was as green as a grasshopper, especially with your mother's cooking. I mean, if it worked for her, then it must have worked for him, too.

As for your lovely wedding dress possibly not fitting correctly, here's a tip from this old seamstress: just let out the darts. There's usually enough "give and take" within the seams to loosen up your frock a bit.

Sincerely, Isabella W.

[BibleReader2231]

Re: I will turn 18 one week from today.

Sister Isabella, I dearly appreciate you finding a video of my parent’s wedding. It brings tears to my eyes.

[Isabella White]

Re: I will turn 18 one week from today.

Sister Isabella, I dearly appreciate you finding a video of my parent’s wedding. It brings tears to my eyes.

Oh, you are more than welcome, dear Sister Maxine. I was pleased when I found the video of the wedding of your parents, and I wanted to share it with you first, before having it go online. This must bring back some happy memories for you. Are you the little flower girl in the video?

For some reason, the video does not play for me on my computer from our site, but just clicking on the title takes me to that Youtube contraption, so I've seen it once again there.

Now, when you've finally made your arrangements for your big day, don't forget to keep me informed, as I would like to make the cake for your wedding. I've thought of making it similar to the one in the attached photo, if this meets with your approval.

A blessed day to you, dear Sister Maxine,
Sincerely, Isabella W.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: I will turn 18 one week from today.

Sister Maxine:


I trust it will not embarrass you that I respond to your recent private message publicly but I feel I must bring the sins of the father to light as they may affect his lovely daughter, you. You are far too young to understand this, I know, but once I explain it I hope you'll have a better grasp on why I did this. Please read it with the same gentle and soothing tone with which it is written.


1. Your father wants me to do a promotional poster or something to promote your eligibility as a potential bride.


2. Your father is offering me financial compensation for this.


My response has to be NO. Dearest one, do you not see that by complying with his request I would be turning you into a prostitutional person? A harlot? A trollop? A woman of ill repute? No, child - this is not something I can do. As an uber-hetero male, I respect the weaker gender far too much to do something like this. So:


I rebuke your father in Jesus' Name. I wouldn't comply with this request even if your father was a True Christian(TM) because there are certain lines I will not venture across, and harlotation is one of them. Your LORD and your GOD knows what He has in store for you, and your father should trust in Him completely rather than trying to pawn you off like some dime store floozy. Does he not see the potential you have as a future bride? Does he not praise God daily for the dowry you will someday bring?


We love you, Sister, and we want what's best for you. My advice is to move out on your own where you can build up your self-esteem. Perhaps find a Christian sister with whom you can share old maid status. This will give father a chance to sort things out for himself. He can't depend on you forever. And he needs to be finding a young wife who can bring him more soldiers for Christ. Armageddon isn't some fleeting idea in the mind of a few authors, you know. The battle is real and will happen soon! What if Christ only needed one more soldier to defeat the enemy and that soldier wasn't there because of your father's selfishness?


If I've offended you, then may God hang a millstone around my neck - but I think He would want me to be honest with you, dear.


In Christian Love and Concern,
BrotherLarry
Revelation 22:12

[Vengeance Puriel]

Re: I will turn 18 one week from today.

Happy early birthday.

[BibleReader2231]

Re: I will turn 18 one week from today.

Sister Isabella,

Once I am properly engaged and everything is approved by my Pa, I will definitely ask that you bake the cake pictured. It is quite lovely. Are the beer cans edible?

Mister Larry,

I deeply appreciate your concern and will take it into consideration. I am in deep conflict, however, as I am reminded of Colossians 3:20. I discussed this with my Pa and he has rescinded his offer of payment to you. He apologized for how it came off and that he was just desperate to marry me off so that I can be out of the house to please someone. I can only assume he wants me to start being a good housewife for a husband ASAP.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: I will turn 18 one week from today.

I'd just like to take this moment to remind all the gentlemen here that you should always check ID's and birth certificates any time any young lady's age is at all in question.

You would not believe the kinds of trouble a guy can get into.

[BibleReader2231]

Re: I will turn 18 one week from today.

Update: I got married as of Wednesday last week. After paying a hefty sum for Sister Isabella to design the wedding cake, we didn’t have much else left for decorations so we improvised with what was available at the dollar store. The photos are still on the disposable cameras to be processed but once they are, I’ll share with all of you.

Unfortunately, my newfound hubby has been shot down by a Nigra the very next day. This, coupled with the fact that I found out from the court system that I am still 17, the marriage was annulled. I am devastated by this. I was sure that I was turning 18. I was all set to begin my life as a loyal wife. I am now the owner of the man’s estate though. What do i do with the money? Also, putting his baby in the care of the state. It’s not my baby.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: I will turn 18 one week from today.

Update: I got married as of Wednesday last week. After paying a hefty sum for Sister Isabella to design the wedding cake, we didn’t have much else left for decorations so we improvised with what was available at the dollar store. The photos are still on the disposable cameras to be processed but once they are, I’ll share with all of you.

Unfortunately, my newfound hubby has been shot down by a Nigra the very next day. This, coupled with the fact that I found out from the court system that I am still 17, the marriage was annulled. I am devastated by this. I was sure that I was turning 18. I was all set to begin my life as a loyal wife. I am now the owner of the man’s estate though. What do i do with the money? Also, putting his baby in the care of the state. It’s not my baby.

I fail to see the age issue--did your parents forget to sign the waiver? This makes me doubt the sincerity of your and your parents' beliefs. I also question the legality of you inheriting your "not-husband's" estate after his untimely passing, considering the so-called "annullment". Are you having fun at our expense? Because we have no time for your petty "humor", we are busy people doing God's Work in the little time we have left before He returns.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: I will turn 18 one week from today.

After paying a hefty sum for Sister Isabella to design the wedding cake, we didn’t have much else left for decorations so we improvised with what was available at the dollar store.

Nonsense. No True Christian(tm) in her right mind would socialize with the Spiritual Riff Raff, much less work for them for monetary compensation. Sister Isabella is a Prayer Warrior of extraordinary measure and is too busy Power Rebuking those gosh darned library Drag Queens Story Time horrors that keep popping up like rats (please excuse my language).

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: I will turn 18 one week from today.

Nonsense. No True Christian™ in her right mind would socialize with the Spiritual Riff Raff, much less work for them for monetary compensation.

Has someone hacked Sister Isabella's password? Some of her posts on this thread have been peculiar. I did suggest, privately, that using the word "password" as your password is unwise, but I'm not sure that she understood why.

This whole business is all very odd, especially this:

Unfortunately, my newfound hubby has been shot down by a Nigra the very next day.

Do they even have colored folks in Newfoundland? I suspect that psychopathic drugs may be involved here.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: I will turn 18 one week from today.

Sister Joanna, once again your insight is inspiring. The LORD surely speaks through you.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: I will turn 18 one week from today.

Is Sister Isabella still teaching her class on Power Rebuking? I believe I could afford the suggested donation this year, if I take some money out of my retirement account.