[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: God Hates Fatties!

Now, why would you assume I have a fat ass? I have a muscular ass from years of farm work, you on the other hand have a fat ass because you spend all day at McDonalds contemplating how 'god' will smite the Mexican who just gave you your food.

Also us Satanists have our own church, one that rivals your own, me being a Scotsman has no bearing on that other than the fact it makes me superior to you in every way.

your local Satanist Priest
McHillenTheScotsman

Look at Nobar's pic. Does he look obese to you? Of course not! Also how does a Scotsman make you superior to us? You're just a bunch of drunk people that rape sheep and consume their intestines afterwards. Even the backwards and inbred English were able to conquer you.

[Timmythemick]

Re: God Hates Fatties!

I do not conform to your inferior 'American English' which is obvious code for too damn stupid to use the real thing, and your brushing off of my nationality with a homosexual rofl smiley just confirms that my nation is superior to your.

your local Satanist Priest
McHillenTheScotsman

[Nobar King]

Re: God Hates Fatties!

Also us Satanists have our own church, one that rivals your own

(Maybe you meant 'we Satanists')

me being a Scotsman has no bearing on that other than the fact it makes me superior to you in every way.

[Timmythemick]

Re: God Hates Fatties!

Now, why would you assume I have a fat ass? I have a muscular ass from years of farm work, you on the other hand have a fat ass because you spend all day at McDonalds contemplating how 'god' will smite the Mexican who just gave you your food.

Also us Satanists have our own church, one that rivals your own, me being a Scotsman has no bearing on that other than the fact it makes me superior to you in every way.

your local Satanist Priest
McHillenTheScotsman

[Nobar King]

Re: God Hates Fatties!

Why would Satanists need priests, especially a fat-assed one from Scotland?

[Timmythemick]

Re: God Hates Fatties!

wow, from a citizen of the country with the highest rate of obesity in the world, this is a very hypocritical thread. 1) you are all probably overweight that is why you need your underpowered pieces of Detroit doo-doo to lug your fat heinies around. 2) Your feeble idea that an invisible deity saving you from the eternal fire of an imaginary place that was invented to scare small children a few thousand years ago is laughable considering your blatant racism and bigotry. 3) The USA wasn't created by your imaginary friend 'god' for you guys, it was created by continental drift.

your local Satanist priest
McHillenTheScotsman

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: God Hates Fatties!

A late post to resurrect a much needed thread; many of you will recall Brother Leonard Ball who was called to Glory October 4th.

Leonard started work at the Landover Christian bookshop in 1944 and remained there save for a spell with the army between 1950 and ’53. He never regretted not going to Korea.

Leonard had been a widower these past 15 years and was cared for by his daughter Beatrice.

Leonard lived in Landover all his life and inherited his family’s home at 56 South Siloam right next to the Eriksson place.

In the winter of ’89, a car crashed between the two houses. Leonard Ball and his wife rushed out to help, as did the Erikssons. The car caught fire but despite this, the driver was pulled out by the Balls.

Now, a seat has been erected in his memory in Gilead Park near “The Hanging Tree.”

[Don the Baptist]

Re: God Hates Fatties!

The fatties are the ones who spend all day in front of a TV or computer and never get out for any exercise. Chowing down pints of ice cream and boxes of cheese-its. Gross.

A True Christian understands the need for getting outside and honoring the lord by mowing the lawn and maintaining the grounds. That's good enough exercise for me!

Also, don't eat more than necessary. You know how much that is? It's when you eat too much.

Sounds good and I could not agree more, but I find that nigras and greasers can maintain the grounds allowing me to spend my time in more pious pursuits.

[Nobar King]

Re: God Hates Fatties!

All you tub-o-lards and gluttons, stay away from THIS kind of thing!

Jesus does not want you to consume 2300 calories in one milkshake.

You're right, Pastor Ezekiel, I almost thought that the label read "Health shake", but it doesn't:
Heath® Shake Large


After that they list the nutrition information. How much nutrition is there?

Heath® Shake Large


This toffee/coffee mix begins with Heath ice cream blended with coffee, Heath Bar candy pieces and caramel, topped with whipped cream and even more Heath Bar candy pieces.


Serving Size 1 Serving (32 fl.oz) Amount Per Serving Calories 2310 Calories from Fat 970 % Daily Value* Total Fat 108g 166%

Do you know how much fat is 108 grams??? That's four ounces. That's the same mass as the meat in a quarterpounder. Imagine eating one of those, but with FAT substituted for the patty. Eww..

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: God Hates Fatties!

All you tub-o-lards and gluttons, stay away from THIS kind of thing!

Jesus does not want you to consume 2300 calories in one milkshake.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: God Hates Fatties!

We seem to have been visited by quite a batch of colorful sinners lately! The sodomy-loving, Turk-dominated Greeks, as well as several fatties. Ginny G. and Cap'n Asshat to name just two.

Just a bit of scripture to let all the plus sized folks out there know how much God hates your enormous bulk.

Numbers 11: 31-34
31 And there went forth a wind from the LORD, and brought quails from the sea, and let them fall by the camp, as it were a day's journey on this side, and as it were a day's journey on the other side, round about the camp, and as it were two cubits high upon the face of the earth.

32 And the people stood up all that day, and all that night, and all the next day, and they gathered the quails: he that gathered least gathered ten homers: and they spread them all abroad for themselves round about the camp.

The people ate too many quails, which I am a big fan of by the way. Delicious little birds. But I would never eat a huge pile of quail as these sinners did. Because as it says here, if you do, God will give you deadly food poisining, probably E-Coli, and you will die horribly as your insides melt and come out your mouth and backside.

Also, if you're going to eat quail, it's definitely best to stick to eating the heterosexual ones.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: God Hates Fatties!

Sister VOS is skinny on the inside, because she is full all the time! Full of the Love and Light of Jesus! Praise!

I bet she wishes the Love and Light of Jesus had custard filling and chocolate sprinkles. Bless her heart.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: God Hates Fatties!

I would like to say a prayer for Sister Victory:



Lord, please help Sister Victory in her battle against the demons of gluttony. May her dieting endeavors be as successful as the war in Iraq. If this cannot be, at least do something about her elbow cleavage. We praise your name. Amen.

Sister VOS is skinny on the inside, because she is full all the time! Full of the Love and Light of Jesus! Praise!

I was refering to Unsaved fatties, Mr. Hatchet, especially the fatty trolls who lumber into our Godly Forum, all out of breath and sweaty, taking time to insult us between gulps of sugary treats as they type with their fat little sauage fingers on their greasy keyboards. As you often say, they sicken me. And they sicken the little baby Jesus!

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: God Hates Fatties!

I would like to say a prayer for Sister Victory:



Lord, please help Sister Victory in her battle against the demons of gluttony. May her dieting endeavors be as successful as the war in Iraq. If this cannot be, at least do something about her elbow cleavage. We praise your name. Amen.

[Jean Poole]

Re: God Hates Fatties!

Brother Aaron, I was thinking the same thing. It must be Jesus leading us to this conclusion.

I believe it is a woman's duty in particular not to be a fatty. It is well-known that women who are obese find it harder to get pregnant. A woman, if she is doing her true Godly duty, will have as many children as possible.

To this end, I propose free diet and exercise plans for all True Christian™ ladies, and free buckets of fat for all Goths, mooslims and non-Americans.