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  • Brother Lindh
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
    • Feb 2007
    • 130

    #1

    Sister Palin & Whipped Cream

    I fear for our Sister Palin. She is about to meet with Henry Kissinger. As we all know, Kissinger applies whipped cream to his girlfriends and he's going to try it on Sister Palin.
    Can you imagine it? Shake up the KoolWhip, and before She knows it, a little gob here, a little gob there, a big gob down there, and then he licks it off. I hope Jesus is standing by Sister Palin and He licks Her off before Henry can get to it.

    Praise the Lord!
  • Capt. Aaron Portway
    One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers
    Salvation from Above
    God's Favorite Pilot™
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2008
    • 6309

    #2
    Re: Sister Palin & Whipped Cream

    Originally posted by Brother Lindh View Post
    I fear for our Sister Palin. She is about to meet with Henry Kissinger. As we all know, Kissinger applies whipped cream to his girlfriends and he's going to try it on Sister Palin.
    Can you imagine it? Shake up the KoolWhip, and before She knows it, a little gob here, a little gob there, a big gob down there, and then he licks it off. I hope Jesus is standing by Sister Palin and He licks Her off before Henry can get to it.

    Praise the Lord!
    Do you have The Sight Brother? As you are undead and a minion of Satan, I imagine you have seen teribble things! I have the Lord on my side so I fear you not. He is with me, as is my KJV1611 and innumerable crosses. I also just went to the kitchen and got some garlic salt, as I am out of fresh garlic.

    But I noticed something odd about your post. First you mentioned whipped cream, then further down you mentioned KoolWhip, which is a non-dairy whipped topping. Your visions may not be entirely accurate if they contain obvious errors. Can you explain this contradiction?
    sigpic


    Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



    God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



    Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!

    Comment

    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78556

      #3
      Re: Sister Palin & Whipped Cream

      Plus that Kissenger kike is the whole reason that President Nixon had to resign.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • Brother Lindh
        Confirmed Enemy of God
        BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
        • Feb 2007
        • 130

        #4
        Re: Sister Palin & Whipped Cream

        Originally posted by Aaron Portway View Post
        Do you have The Sight Brother? As you are undead and a minion of Satan, I imagine you have seen teribble things! I have the Lord on my side so I fear you not. He is with me, as is my KJV1611 and innumerable crosses. I also just went to the kitchen and got some garlic salt, as I am out of fresh garlic.

        But I noticed something odd about your post. First you mentioned whipped cream, then further down you mentioned KoolWhip, which is a non-dairy whipped topping. Your visions may not be entirely accurate if they contain obvious errors. Can you explain this contradiction?
        Dear Brother in Christ Portway,
        First of all, and before I explain about the whipped cream and the KoolWhip, I would urge you not to mention garlic or any of its derivatives in posts regarding Brother Lindh. Although a garlic impregnated KJV may protect you with the Lord Standing By your Side, the quantity of garlic needed would far exceed His ability to withstand the proximal fragrance. [A word to the wise, good sir].

        Now as you are aware, or should be, Kissinger suffers from a heart condition brought on by eating copious amounts of genuine whipped cream slathered on his girlfriends. I am sure that Sister Sarah will insist on KoolWhip and that's the reason the term was used a`priori. And, it is precisely why Sister Sarah will insist on buttering her buns with margarine [not moose fat] before Henry arrives through the back door.

        Comment

        • Capt. Aaron Portway
          One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers
          Salvation from Above
          God's Favorite Pilot™
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2008
          • 6309

          #5
          Re: Sister Palin & Whipped Cream

          Originally posted by Brother Lindh View Post
          Dear Brother in Christ Portway,
          First of all, and before I explain about the whipped cream and the KoolWhip, I would urge you not to mention garlic or any of its derivatives in posts regarding Brother Lindh. Although a garlic impregnated KJV may protect you with the Lord Standing By your Side, the quantity of garlic needed would far exceed His ability to withstand the proximal fragrance.
          Are you suggesting that there is an amount of Garlic the Lord could not tolerate? Blasphemer! God created garlic and all other spices so True Christians™ could enjoy tasty meals:

          Numbers 11:5
          We remember the fish, which we did eat in Egypt freely; the cucumbers, and the melons, and the leeks, and the onions, and the garlick.

          God would never make a food he could not handle. Jesus is God, so can he could handle any food made by God. The spiciest curry or the hottest salsa would be as spring water to our Lord!

          Originally posted by Brother Lindh View Post
          Kissinger suffers from a heart condition brought on by eating copious amounts of genuine whipped cream slathered on his girlfriends. I am sure that Sister Sarah will insist on KoolWhip. And, it is precisely why Sister Sarah will insist on buttering her buns with margarine [not moose fat] before Henry arrives through the back door.
          I see your reasoning and it seems sound, except . . .

          A True Cristian™ like Sarah Palin would never let a filthy Hebe lick anything off her body or put any part of his in hers! I realize you are a minion of Satan, but mind your manners on this forum and refrain from spreading lies about Sister Sarah and her "buttered buns"!
          sigpic


          Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



          God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



          Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!

          Comment

          • Marshall
            Righteous and Patriotic
            Highest body count at the VFW
            True Christian™
            • Oct 2006
            • 3330

            #6
            Re: Sister Palin & Whipped Cream

            This thread isn't what I thought it was.
            Carry on. Lindh...you're going to Hell.
            God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.

            Comment

            • Brother Lindh
              Confirmed Enemy of God
              BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
              • Feb 2007
              • 130

              #7
              Re: Sister Palin & Whipped Cream

              Originally posted by Aaron Portway View Post
              Are you suggesting that there is an amount of Garlic the Lord could not tolerate? Blasphemer! God created garlic and all other spices so True Christians™ could enjoy tasty meals:

              Numbers 11:5
              We remember the fish, which we did eat in Egypt freely; the cucumbers, and the melons, and the leeks, and the onions, and the garlick.

              God would never make a food he could not handle. Jesus is God, so can he could handle any food made by God. The spiciest curry or the hottest salsa would be as spring water to our Lord!


              I see your reasoning and it seems sound, except . . .

              A True Cristian™ like Sarah Palin would never let a filthy Hebe lick anything off her body or put any part of his in hers! I realize you are a minion of Satan, but mind your manners on this forum and refrain from spreading lies about Sister Sarah and her "buttered buns"!
              Well, well, well, Brother Portly, are you saying that God is incapable of making a garlic so strong He cannot stand it? Shame on you! I say God can make anything, including Sarah's buttered buns (using margarine of course). We are discussing here the amount of garlic you'll need for self-protection, not the unamount God can make withstanding an infinite amount which is a Godly amount. Brother Portly, you are getting in over your "neck".

              I am getting a tad irritable from comments about my Godly ordained profession. Makes my teeth itch for something and it doesn't have to be alive, Praise Jesus and His generous supply of Blood.

              Comment

              • SUV
                True Christian™ Princess
                The Driving Force behind RA12
                Have at it, anytime!
                • Sep 2006
                • 11027

                #8
                Re: Sister Palin & Whipped Cream

                Brother Lindh, why do you post porno-ography on our board regarding our dear Sister-in-the-Christ, Sarah Palin?

                PS Maybe this is one of those things where "your best friend" won't tell you, but: You could use a little dental work!

                Comment

                • Justina Thyme
                  Exposing DEMONS for Jesus
                  True Christian™
                  • Dec 2007
                  • 1718

                  #9
                  Re: Sister Palin & Whipped Cream

                  Now, now, brethren and cistern, poor Brother Lindh is just getting a mite testy because it's getting close to "that time of the year" for him. His fangs are becoming trigger-happy, so to speak, and he's going through mice and rats at twice his usual rate. We've been through this before with him, and right after Halloween things will be back to normal.

                  Brother Lindh, you just hang in there. Click image for larger version

Name:	images.jpg
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ID:	1905274 Halloween will be here before you know it, and then you'll be fine. In the meantime, remember to take your meds and make sure to block out any light that may be seeping through the cracks in the walls down there. And don't worry! You know that stress exacerbates your condition!
                  Mark 16:17 And these attesting signs will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will drive out demons.

                  1 Kings 21:14 Then they sent to Jezebel, saying, Naboth is stoned . . .

                  A SPIRITUAL WARFARE PRAYER:
                  Father, In Jesus' Name, I take the Blood of Jesus and break the power of all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, wiccans, pagans, and any other source, and all of their rituals off of us. With the Blood of Jesus, I erase all evil lines drawn on our liver. . .

                  LANDOVER BAPTIST DEMON HUNTING PERMIT #00666-27

                  sigpic



                  Comment

                  • Brother Lindh
                    Confirmed Enemy of God
                    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                    • Feb 2007
                    • 130

                    #10
                    Re: Sister Palin & Whipped Cream

                    Originally posted by Justina Thyme View Post
                    Now, now, brethren and cistern, poor Brother Lindh is just getting a mite testy because it's getting close to "that time of the year" for him. His fangs are becoming trigger-happy, so to speak, and he's going through mice and rats at twice his usual rate. We've been through this before with him, and right after Halloween things will be back to normal.

                    Brother Lindh, you just hang in there. [ATTACH]6264[/ATTACH] Halloween will be here before you know it, and then you'll be fine. In the meantime, remember to take your meds and make sure to block out any light that may be seeping through the cracks in the walls down there. And don't worry! You know that stress exacerbates your condition!
                    Ahh, Sister Justina, thank you for your kind words. Praise God I have plenty to eat down here. Sister Dody used to drop things down the shaft but I haven't got anything from her lately. I'm sure she hasn't expired as no new vault has been lowered since that of the late Pastor Pistle. And, as you say, Holyween is so close.
                    Pleasant dreams.

                    Comment

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