SUV's Religious, Holy, Christmas message

[SUV]

MERRY
CHRISTIAN
CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!

(Please do color-in those exclamation marks exactly as you'd like!

All the Stress of this Christmas Season has given me such a Headache!!!)

[tommy]

Re: SUV's Religious, Holy, Christmas message

Merry Christmas to you!

I agree, holidays can get very stressful. All the gifts, cards...I like the parties though.

But anyway...It is Jesus' birthday, the second best reason to celebrate.

[SUV]

Re: SUV's Religious, Holy, Christmas message

(Oh my GOD! There's that really cute beagle hound Tommy! How I'd so hoped he'd reply to my posts!)

Tommy! What's Jesus-Snail-Claus gonna get you for CHRISTMAS, Babe?

[tommy]

Re: SUV's Religious, Holy, Christmas message

(Oh my GOD! There's that really cute beagle hound Tommy! How I'd so hoped he'd reply to my posts!)

Tommy! What's Jesus-Snail-Claus gonna get you for CHRISTMAS, Babe?

Jesus-Snail-Claus?
I guess he has been ignoring me since my 6th Bithday. Still don't know why.

The best present ever would be a walk with you, sista!

[SUV]

Re: SUV's Religious, Holy, Christmas message

The best present ever would be a walk with you, sista!

Oh my GOD! A God-Snail-Saviour truly does exist!!!!

Okay, Tommy! Here we go! And if we pass Mrs. Betty Bowers with her Ruby-studded leash, walking her little shit-who? we shall just pretend that we are picking up gar-bahghe on the street - okay?

Bless You, Hon!!!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: SUV's Religious, Holy, Christmas message

MERRY
CHRISTIAN
CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!

And to you too Sweet Sister Sue,

Please forgive me for being so lazy as to copy and paste you message of goodwill and cheer, but I'm hurried and exhausted from baking Christmas confections and testing that chocolate Santa with Pastor Zeke over and over. I swear that man just cannot get enough. Bless his precious heart.


:::fixes hair:::::::

Much Love, Sister Thumper

[SUV]

Re: SUV's Religious, Holy, Christmas message

....Pastor Zeke over and over. I swear that man just cannot get enough. Sister Thumper

Ah...Dickens Cider, I presume?

Well, God Bless you and Brother Tommy, Sister Thumper. But I have a Chastisement for the rest of these "people" Snooping on our Godly Board, an astounding "54" of them as of 8:30am, December 24th:

Do you really think you can hide anonymously behind your little "Spider" things and Jesus and Pastor will not know?! Sinners! Whores of Babylon, Islip, and West Hempstead!!!

And y'all were just toooo Lazy to color something Cheery into the parts of this Christmas Message I so cunningly crafted just for you!!! All you have to do is register with Pastor and there ya'd go! "The Sin of Sloth!" Oh, how could y'all be so Cruel to me?

(This in no way casts aspersions upon Good Sister Thumper, who is understandably tired from pleasing her Man during all this Holiday Stress, or Brother Tommy, who is somewhat exhausted from that really long walk we took. Oh, he is such a really cute Member!)

And if you un$avED don't know what that means, you can go look it up in your Bibles. Assuming you even have a KJV 1611

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: SUV's Religious, Holy, Christmas message

Praise Jesus and happy birthday to our Lord. Sister Thumper knows that I can't wait to have my Dickens Cider. I'll be over soon, Sister. I'll want it as soon as I get in the door. Oh yes I will.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: SUV's Religious, Holy, Christmas message

...Sister Thumper knows that I can't wait to have my Dickens Cider... be over soon, as soon as I get in the door.

Try thinking about baseball.




Bless you, my lunchbag letdown.
Father Mo

[Poetic Peter]

I chose white (out) and green

MERRY
CHRISTIAN
CHRISTMAS

!
!!
!!!
!!!!
!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!

(Please do
color-in those exclamation marks ex


actly as you'd like!)







kachoo. press quode to view.
(caught a code in my nodse fum esposure of peter make yellow snow angel pussy)

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: I chose white (out) and green

MERRY 'XMAS IS OOOOOOVVVVEEERRR'!!!!!!!!!

[SUV]

The Day After Christmas: Snail-mess

MERRY 'XMAS IS OOOOOOVVVVEEERRR'!!!!!!!!!

That it is, Mrs. Hellbound, and I'm ever so Depressed.

I had got together a huge Terrarium, full of dozens of varieties of Snails, set out since Christmas Eve in the Hope that Jesus Claus would Slime down the chimney to bring me a Tasteful Gift. But, can you Believe it? Nothing happened - absolutely nothing. I suppose I didn't Pray hard enough or Slither across the carpet in emulation of Him obsequiously enough.....

Whatever, I threw the entire tankful of Snails out the window this morning and they crawled onto the road, perhaps Walking over all the little puddles on the ground to get there - and it Sure™ is Depressing to hear all the slurpy "crunch!" sounds they make when the cars run over top of them.

PS Brother Peter, that was a most lovely, artistic thing you did, and I shall color in all those 'Clam' marks. I think a clam is somewhat in the Snail Family....? Well? Couldn't Hurt!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: I chose white (out) and green

MERRY 'XMAS IS OOOOOOVVVVEEERRR'!!!!!!!!!

Is that a band smilie you've got there? May I suggest a more apposite one?
Get right with Jesus, woman!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: I chose white (out) and green

GLORY!!!!

Oh, Brother PP, That is soooooooooo beautiful and creative!

I hope JESUS smiled on you on HIS Birthday.

MERRY
CHRISTIAN
CHRISTMAS

!
!!
!!!
!!!!
!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!

(Please do
color-in those exclamation marks ex


actly as you'd like!)







kachoo. press quode to view.
(caught a code in my nodse fum esposure of peter make yellow snow angel pussy)

[Poetic Peter]

Re: SUV's Religious, Holy, Christmas message

Dear Thisters,

kaa...aaah....aaaaaah..ahhhhhhh...skwinkkkk.

Just blew out a a lobe. Unwise to stifle a sneeze, I think.

Yes, I'll clam up now; God's order.
Thanks for pitying snails and males;

distinctions sometimes blur.

Sniff.
Poor me. Damn cars.

Uh oh.


crunch