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  • SUV
    True Christian™ Princess
    The Driving Force behind RA12
    Have at it, anytime!
    • Sep 2006
    • 11027
    #1

    December 31, 2006

    So I guess you all know what tomorrow is, and are prepared to Celebrate a Safe and Happy Circie of the Christ Child - Right?

    How much of His Precious Blood do you think He shed? I'm guessing "not much" so that He could save it all up to really "pour it on" during His Crucifixion scene. And, how loudly do you think He screamed or blatted? Again, I'm going with "not much" - at least not until they put His Christian Self in the arms of His joo "Mother." (Or worse: JoJo the Carpenter, who was technically not even of His own Family!!!)

    I plan to observe January 1 by meditating upon which of His Agonies was worse: His Circie, or, thirty-three years later, His Crucifixion. And as common knowledge has it that He could see His house from up there, just imagine His mental Torture as well!: Did I leave the Water running in the bathtub? Does the Dog have to go out and pee?

    Anyway, everyone please do have a BLESSED BAPTIST NEW YEAR!!!

    Tags: None
    • tommy
      Forum Member
      Forum Member
      • Oct 2006
      • 392
      #2
      Re: December 31, 2006

      Only 7h 21min to go.
      The Lord is a man of war: the Lord is his name.
      Exodus 15:3

        Comment

        • Brother Temperance
          Senior Usher
          True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
          A very nice young man
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 15621
          #3
          Re: December 31, 2006

          Originally posted by SUV View Post
          Does the Dog have to go out and pee?
          Originally posted by Tommy
          Only 7h 21min to go.
          Are these two statements related?
          O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



          God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

            Comment

            • Pastor Al E Pistle
              Christ's Cōnsiliārius
               
              • Sep 2006
              • 9323
              #4
              Re: December 31, 2006

              Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
              Are these two statements related?
              They are all brothers and sisters in the Lord.
              Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
              "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
              Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                Comment

                • demoncrat
                  Deranged lieberal who hates Jesus
                  • Nov 2006
                  • 79
                  #5
                  Re: December 31, 2006

                  I'm a homer.

                    Comment

                    • Arethusa
                      True Christian™
                      True Christian™
                      • Nov 2006
                      • 284
                      #6
                      Re: December 31, 2006

                      What, no one's going to party?
                      Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
                      I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
                      Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
                      Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
                      Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.                       - Ovid

                        Comment

                        • Pastor Ezekiel
                          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                           
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 78556
                          #7
                          Re: December 31, 2006

                          Originally posted by Arethusa View Post
                          What, no one's going to party?
                          Young lady, the word "party" is NOT a verb on God's favorite forum.

                          We all celebrate the circumcision of our Lord Jesus in very solumn, private ways. However, I am busy supervising the design and construction of our new multi-million dollar "Pavilion of the Divine Foreskin" in which a certain liberated piece of scrotum will be on display starting in the Spring for a modest ticket price of $180 per Saved© person*. So starting next year, you will be able to honor Jesus in a new and stimulating way. GLORY!!


                          *unsaved heathen scum ticket prices to be announced. Expect the $500-$5,000 range.
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                            Comment

                            • lilith
                              Night Hag
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 1232
                              #8
                              Re: December 31, 2006

                              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                              Young lady, the word "party" is NOT a verb on God's favorite forum.

                              We all celebrate the circumcision of our Lord Jesus in very solumn, private ways. However, I am busy supervising the design and construction of our new multi-million dollar "Pavilion of the Divine Foreskin" in which a certain liberated piece of scrotum will be on display starting in the Spring for a modest ticket price of $180 per Saved© person*. So starting next year, you will be able to honor Jesus in a new and stimulating way. GLORY!!


                              *unsaved heathen scum ticket prices to be announced. Expect the $500-$5,000 range.

                              Um...."stimulating",Zeke?

                              Are you sure that's the word you meant?
                              In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

                                Comment

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